things being hidden

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Danbar, Aug 10, 2015.

  1. Danbar

    Danbar Registered User

    Jul 26, 2015
    7
    My wife has developed this ability to hide things. I am sure that it is not deliberate but she just puts things in unusual places and has no idea where that place was. The most frustrating thing about it is that despite searching the house from top to bottom I cannot find the things she has moved. The latest items are her wedding and engagement rings which appear to have completely disappeared,

    As anyone any advise on how to cope with this hiding/misplacing of items
     
  2. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,776
    Salford
    Hi Danbar
    I've no answer but I'd be interested to see what people say, loads of things turn up in the least likely places in our house. I've given up worrying about it as wherever it is it's in the house somewhere so it'll turn up in time, it's just mildly annoying when it's something you need like the TV remote or the wireless mouse off the computer.
    K
     
  3. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,815
    UK
    My mum has been doing this for a year now, it started with simple everyday items just disappearing, but then I lost a pearl necklace last year, still can't find it. I made the decision to remove and pack away all valuable stuff. Could not distract or stop mum from doing this and I certainly could not keep my eyes on her every minute. I also replaced the rings on her finger with similar looking, inexpensive ones and to date she has lost four of these, not as upsetting as the possibility of loosing her wedding and engagement rings. Silver photo frames get moved around a lot and then disappear but they usually end up in a kitchen draw. My biggest problem at the moment is keeping house and car keys out of reach she wants to keep them safe!
     
  4. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Hello Danbar, so sorry you have this problem it is so frustrating, my hubby hides things all the time, he thinks people in the house will steal them, there is no one in the house only me!!! I hide things now to stop him hiding my personal belongings.
     
  5. balloo

    balloo Registered User

    Sep 21, 2013
    227
    northamptonshire
    sorry have no advice but my MIL has been doing this more and more over the last 2 years gets very annoying as last time it was the flowers that were in her window .found them wrapped in tissues in back of wardrobe
     
  6. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,777
    Female
    South coast
    Mum was doing that too. Once she was in a CH I sorted out her bungalow and found: bills posted between the towels and sheets in the airing cupboard, her birth and wedding certificates sandwiched between books in the bookcase, her valuable gold chain in the tea caddy with tea-bags on the top, £400 in her knicker drawer and the deeds of the house behind a chest of drawers :eek:
    I still havent found her copy of her will or her engagement ring :rolleyes:

    She was worried about people coming in and stealing things at the time and I suspect her paranoia led her to put things away "safely" where the thieves wouldnt find them (!) and she would then forget where she had put them (thus fueling her paranoia)

    Im not sure there is much you can do except completely remove things that are valuable and learn the hidy-holes.
     
  7. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,898
    Female
    Scotland
    Oh yes this is all too familiar. Eye drops carefully packed in the toe of his slippers. Wallet with his standard two fivers hidden under magazines in a drawer. Toothpaste and brush regularly taken out of his shower room and hidden in his underwear drawer.

    At first it drove me mad. Now in the light of everything else it has become less important.
     
  8. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,777
    Female
    South coast
    No, its probably not that important in the grand scheme of things, but OH has just started doing this too and I feel like Im spending half the day and wasting hours of my precious time just looking for things.
     
  9. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    John used to hide things, and then accuse me of hiding them. After a while, I decided that it was better to work systematically through my home, looking for missing things, and started with the kitchen.

    I unearthed many previously lost items from the freezer! It's very distressing, especially when it's something like jewellery or keys, but these items eventually turn up.
     
  10. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    I still haven't found everything my hubby lost/mislaid, even though he's in full time care, now, Danbar. Some of the supposedly missing things might not even exist, so don't worry too much.

    There were things hubby insisted were missing that he and we never even had. Mind you - if I ever come across that 20 quid note or a pack of baccy I bought him months ago...

    Anything and everything should finally turn up eventually. I found my favourite knife recently in an old box of tools. Needed a proper clean before it could be put back in service again! We'll get there.

    All the best and here's hoping you can hang on to a bit of patience while you're searching. The stealing thing causes a lot of this hiding things away. My hubby suffered from that badly. It's just one of those things we learn to live with.
     
  11. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    2,475
    London
    Over the garden fence

    Hi my own husband did the same used to spend ages looking for things especially keys learned my lesson after being locked out in garden for hours kept keys on me at all times after that kitchenware was found in neighbours garden he chucked them over fence!! Since he went into care home I have found money under carpets in freezer and stuffed in most unlikely places only advice I have is same as others put valuables away and look for missing items in unlikely places good luck
     
  12. mackie

    mackie Registered User

    Feb 9, 2015
    29
    As frustrating as this is and I agree with hiding anything valuable, I have to share a funny story. My Mum and Dad used to go on holiday each year and take a cool box with them to take food out on picnics. They returned one year and the cool box was put away for another year. My Mum who had Alzheimer's used to hide all sorts of things but the best was when Dad got the cool box out to take on holiday and found various pairs of his underpants inside. He wondered where they had gone! We had to laugh. x
     
  13. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    My Dad used to hide things one of which was a solid silver dish that my mother had been given when she stopped working at the Food Office in 1944, engraved with her number. We never found it, no idea if he put it in the dustbin or what but even when we moved out of the house it didn't turn up.

    My husband tends to put things in odd places. The TV remote went missing for a whole day, house turned upside down, but was found in his pocket when he got back from day care.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  14. janien

    janien Registered User

    Aug 2, 2015
    3
    Surrey
    lost things!

    We have two partcularly devious cats in our house that not only hide things but also eat stuff that diabetic people shouldn't eat - hey ho gladly most of the time we can still laugh especially when the cats return the 'lost' stuff!
     
  15. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    997
    Colchester
    Hiding things

    I don't think there is anyway of stopping it. My husband has a wardrobe shelf half full of pebbles. the other half is full of tools from the workshop that he spent hours in, making things. I have found tea towels in the fridge, my dressing gown in the workshop, keys have gone missing to often so have to hide them from him! His hearing aid was a big problem as without it he couldn't hear what I was saying which was just one more thing to wind me up. It was missing for 4 weeks and then found yesterday behind a box in the workshop. This is just a few instants of many, but the worst is having to watch him when we are out. He seems to think if its there he can take it.Good luck, try to think ahead of what might attract her. Make sure that everything vital is put somewhere out of her way.x
     
  16. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Oh, hearing aids. Aren't they the worst things to go missing, along with keys? I'd forgotten all of this, but used to live with it every day.

    I imagined myself trying to keep an eye on everything that happened, but soon gave that up. You just can't cover it all, all the time. We'll all have to think up strategies for at least keeping the most important things safe somewhere. I used to hide things I wanted kept safe in a bag!
     
  17. Tiller Girl

    Tiller Girl Registered User

    May 14, 2012
    91
    My OH doesn't hide things , he just tidies up constantly. However he then can't remember where he's put anything. It's very irritating to say the least . He does have favourite places for things so I check there first.

    I do hide things from him.. Car keys, house keys etc.

    I bought a large multi pack of crisps the other week and they soon ran out. So the next time I went shopping I bought another only to find the first pack in the dog cupboard !

    He also kept losing his razor blades. I only buy disposable ones now and at one point he insisted on having a packet everytime we went shopping. I had to stop buying yellow ones as he kept insisting that they were mine !
     
  18. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,776
    Salford
    I can't be the only one wondering this but you have a cupboard for your dog:confused:
    K
     
  19. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    I have a cupboard for my cat☺
     
  20. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    997
    Colchester
    Hiding things

    You are so right. Its best to just look after the important things like keys, phone, purse or wallet, and in my case my clothes as if I don't put them away in the wardrobe he tidies up and puts my stuff in all sorts of places including the garage! Oh well there is worse happening!!!
     

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