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They want to send her home!

camkam

Registered User
Jul 20, 2015
62
Thank you for updating this - yes I was amazed at how focussed my Ma could be when she 'needed to' - very strong generation of women.

I just can't think of anything you else you can do, keep connected with us please x
Yesterday I received an email from social services explaining that the situation is very difficult for them because mum appears lucid when they have seen her, but I and the home have expressed serious concerns about her capability and they have to take these concerns on board. Because mum has said she wants to go home they said they are actually keeping her at the care home illegally. However their legal team have told them to do some more 'intensive' work with mum to make sure that she fully understands all of the risks of going home and to clarify that she is in fact capable of making that decision. If after this mum still insists that she will be safe (and they will go into great detail about the risks) they will then refer the matter to an independent assessor who will decide whether or not mum has the capacity to make the decision for herself.

Of course mum will stick to her guns and insist that she will be fine at home because this is her one goal and she won't let anything stand in her way, so I can obviously see the independent assessor will need to go in and make the decision about her capacity.

I'm reasonably happy that social services have taken my comments on board and aren't just bulldozing ahead, but all I can do is wait to see what happens next.
 

Reallife

Registered User
Jun 12, 2015
49
Lancashire
Good luck and I hope you get the decision which will be best for your Mum.At least social services seem to be listening to your and the care home concerns now.
 

Onlyme

Registered User
Apr 5, 2010
4,995
UK
I have been following your posts and would like to add a few ideas.

My mother was adement she was going home. End of. On and on she would go until I realised that she had no idea of the house she had lived in for over 25 years, the area she lived in or even that she had been married. She was thinking of her childhood house. I found if I asked who would be in the house when she got home she would say her Gran, Mum and Dad.

In summary the most telling question I think these people should ask is who will be there when you get home.
 

camkam

Registered User
Jul 20, 2015
62
Hi, thank you so much I never considered this before. On her bad days she does say that she must ring her dad to tell him she'll be late home, so maybe she doesn't know where she lives now. I'll mention this to the social worker before they meet her again.


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

tigerlady

Registered User
Nov 29, 2015
427
I have been following your posts and would like to add a few ideas.

My mother was adement she was going home. End of. On and on she would go until I realised that she had no idea of the house she had lived in for over 25 years, the area she lived in or even that she had been married. She was thinking of her childhood house. I found if I asked who would be in the house when she got home she would say her Gran, Mum and Dad.

In summary the most telling question I think these people should ask is who will be there when you get home.
Totally agree with this. They could also ask her where she lives. My husband has been in care for 18 months and he constantly asks to go home but I think its only me he says it to - I trigger it. Its all he said when he was at home as well, and when I asked him where was home he either said the town where he was brought up as a child or else he said it was a secret and he wasnt telling me. He also often says he has to get home to see his mum (long deceased) as she will be worried about him. I would also fast track the DoLS team if possible, saying how worried you are as she will be at risk. They are more skilled at spotting if someone has lost mental capacity.
 

camkam

Registered User
Jul 20, 2015
62
Totally agree with this. They could also ask her where she lives. My husband has been in care for 18 months and he constantly asks to go home but I think its only me he says it to - I trigger it. Its all he said when he was at home as well, and when I asked him where was home he either said the town where he was brought up as a child or else he said it was a secret and he wasnt telling me. He also often says he has to get home to see his mum (long deceased) as she will be worried about him. I would also fast track the DoLS team if possible, saying how worried you are as she will be at risk. They are more skilled at spotting if someone has lost mental capacity.
Yes I'll speak to them to see if they can speed things up although the problem is that mum has fluctuating capacity and she always seems to be lucid when social services visit.

Another complication has now arisen, I had a letter from the home today saying that they are introducing top up fees of £20 per week from 1st March. I don't know how I'm going to afford this, mum actually could pay from her own savings but she isn't allowed to, it's crazy! So if she does end up staying in care I'll probably have to get her moved to a care home without top- up fees and they seem to be few and far between.
 

tigerlady

Registered User
Nov 29, 2015
427
Yes I'll speak to them to see if they can speed things up although the problem is that mum has fluctuating capacity and she always seems to be lucid when social services visit.

Another complication has now arisen, I had a letter from the home today saying that they are introducing top up fees of £20 per week from 1st March. I don't know how I'm going to afford this, mum actually could pay from her own savings but she isn't allowed to, it's crazy! So if she does end up staying in care I'll probably have to get her moved to a care home without top- up fees and they seem to be few and far between.
If your mum is LA funded, then the care home have a contract with the council. If the top up takes them over what the LA is prepared to pay, then the LA have to find an alternative home within their budget. If they do find one, and you choose not to send your mother there, as you want to keep her in the one she is happy in, then you may be forced to pay the top up unless the LA can negotiate with them to bring the cost down or if you can negotiate with the LA to pay the extra.

Another point is that even if they insist on sending her home, they cannot do this unless they do have the intensive care plan in place - ready to be operational on day 1 - and if it takes weeks to organise then they have to pay for the care home until the care package is in place. I hope it doesnt come to this though and your mother is looked after in the care home she is used to

Also forgot to add, if they dont find a cheaper care home they have to fund her in the original one
 

camkam

Registered User
Jul 20, 2015
62
There's been a development in the saga, social services went to see mum for their 'intensive' meeting, to explain in great detail to her the risks and dangers of her going home and she still insisted that she wanted to go home, so they had to get the independent assessor to do a mental capacity test on mum. The assessor went to see mum this morning and she has failed the mental capacity test, so she will be deemed unable to make her own decisions. I presume this means that social services now cannot send her home, and that my PoA for health & welfare will now kick in? Am I right in thinking this?
 

camkam

Registered User
Jul 20, 2015
62
AFAIK that is correct camkam.
I hope your mum gets into a nice CH soon and settles there.
Excellent, thank you, I just feel that I've been proved right and that social services will realise now that my concerns were real, mum is in a good care home at the moment but whether or not she will ever settle, I don't know but at least she is safe and being looked after.
 

Sterling

Registered User
Jun 20, 2013
69
Power of Attorney makes all the difference in my experience. Stick to your guns!!

I have had to apply to be my mum's deputy whilst Social Services are insisting that mum can go home. They are required to listen to me but they are in Charge and can do what they 'deem' Best?

I hope now your road will be smoother!
 

tigerlady

Registered User
Nov 29, 2015
427
I'm surprised the DoLS team still havent been out to do their own assessment. I presume the original DoLS ran out. With a DoLS in place in is not illegal to keep someone in a care home, in spite of them saying they want to go home. I am very pleased that the social workers took note of you and the care home and sent out another assessor, who decided she didnt have capacity.

Every organisation these days is so concerned with the stupid "human rights" act, and worried about getting sued, that it almost works against the people its supposed to be protecting

Good luck with your future dealings with SW's and I hope your mum settles more
 

camkam

Registered User
Jul 20, 2015
62
I'm surprised the DoLS team still havent been out to do their own assessment. I presume the original DoLS ran out. With a DoLS in place in is not illegal to keep someone in a care home, in spite of them saying they want to go home. I am very pleased that the social workers took note of you and the care home and sent out another assessor, who decided she didnt have capacity.

Every organisation these days is so concerned with the stupid "human rights" act, and worried about getting sued, that it almost works against the people its supposed to be protecting

Good luck with your future dealings with SW's and I hope your mum settles more
Thank you tigerlady, the DoLS are going to see mum on Tuesday apparently so I'll have to wait and see what they say. This is the original DoLS, apparently they have a huge backlog but because I told them that social services wanted to send mum home against my wishes I think they've brought her to the top of the pile. Fingers crossed it will go in our favour!
 

CJinUSA

Registered User
Jan 20, 2014
1,121
eastern USA
Thank you tigerlady, the DoLS are going to see mum on Tuesday apparently so I'll have to wait and see what they say. This is the original DoLS, apparently they have a huge backlog but because I told them that social services wanted to send mum home against my wishes I think they've brought her to the top of the pile. Fingers crossed it will go in our favour!
What a saga. I don't quite understand how, if you have the POA for health matters, now that she has been deemed incompetent, they can still make a determination about where she should be. Isn't this your decision now? I'm sorry. It's very different in the U.S.

I was deeply troubled by your earlier message that they were insisting on sending her home. You wrote persuasively, evidently, and well. It makes me wonder what happens when there's no advocate speaking for the person . . . .

Anyway, fingers crossed on Tuesday's meeting.
 

camkam

Registered User
Jul 20, 2015
62
What a saga. I don't quite understand how, if you have the POA for health matters, now that she has been deemed incompetent, they can still make a determination about where she should be. Isn't this your decision now? I'm sorry. It's very different in the U.S.

I was deeply troubled by your earlier message that they were insisting on sending her home. You wrote persuasively, evidently, and well. It makes me wonder what happens when there's no advocate speaking for the person . . . .

Anyway, fingers crossed on Tuesday's meeting.
Hi, I agree, what happens to people who are completely alone, they must be at the mercy of social services? The thing I'm finding hard to understand is that mum has had five different social workers since September (I don't think people stay in the job for very long!) and all of the previous four were of the opinion that she shouldn't go home but this current one has gone against all of the others and wants to send her home! Anyway I think she will need to change her mind now that we have official confirmation that mum cannot make her own decisions. I await the results of Tuesday's meeting and my next email from social services...