I have been very moved by most of the posts on here - particularly from those like me who have lost a loved one, lets say within the last year or so. Mum passed away in March and like so many, its a case of one step forward then another back. Hard to analyse, but as I see it when Dad passed away 2.5 years ago it was terribly sad. But he had lived a full life and he passed away relatively quickly after a short illness and pneumonia, the old man's friend. No wonder people say this when contrasted with Mum, a not untypical example. She had very good physical health for most of her life, until her late 80's really. Now of course we know that is not necessarily a good thing, especially when AD comes along to fill the gap and of course expand on Dad's passing. She was doing quite well until a fall and hip operation - then went downhill rapidly. I can now see that really this was a blessing in disguise. It was the long period of being at home, watching the deterioration, witnessing frustration and agitation. The legal procedures, the difficult visits to the doctor's, battles with mental health services on her behalf and finding suitable care, persuading, visiting, feeling low, tears, frustration, hours of driving, wondering if it all will ever end or would I break down? battling to the hospital last winter. Witnessing the final deterioration and seeing her disappear bit by bit. In its various guises, we learn that this is every carers experience, give or take. No wonder its so hard to move on, rationalise, process, accept. Sadly, a dementia death is the most difficult of all, and we need to give ourselves huge amounts of time as those final moments have a habit of lodging themselves in our heads.