There are plenty of comedy sketches about pianos - this is a new, true, as it happened one!!

[maryjoan]

This is an email I sent to my kids......

He is out on his bike when the PIANO arrives. It is enormous. Full size piano key board weighs a ton!
It has a stand which needs assembling.

3 hours later he is struggling and I offer help.

I notice the book of instructions has not been opened.

So - I open it at the page for assembling the base unit.

He tells me he can't see what the backboard is all about so he isn't putting it on. I explain that it is to hold the structure rigid so this huge great heavy piano doesn't topple over.

"Back board won't fit" he says

"Base legs are back to front"says I

So he undoes them.

"Oh, the brackets for the backboard are back to front too" says I, reading the manual

So he undoes them

Referring to manual I sit on a chair and guide him through instructions.

Silly me - big mistake

He gets right to the end when the backboard still will not go into place because - guess what??

Screws and bolts don't fit.

You've guessed it.

When he opened the packaging, he did not get the screws and bolts and sort them out into groups for each part that needed fixing -

Silly me thought he would have. But I wasn't thinking of the gung ho attitude of dementia

Now it all needs taking completely apart again all the screws checking and putting into the right groups and starting all over again.

Am I fed up??? You jolly well bet I am!!

Are you laughing, you jolly well should be!

Have a good evening...... xxx

 

[Banjomansmate]

But just think, it is keeping him occupied!
Even if it is driving you round the bend.

 

[Agzy]

This is an email I sent to my kids......

He is out on his bike when the PIANO arrives. It is enormous. Full size piano key board weighs a ton!
It has a stand which needs assembling.

3 hours later he is struggling and I offer help.

I notice the book of instructions has not been opened.

So - I open it at the page for assembling the base unit.

He tells me he can't see what the backboard is all about so he isn't putting it on. I explain that it is to hold the structure rigid so this huge great heavy piano doesn't topple over.

"Back board won't fit" he says

"Base legs are back to front"says I

So he undoes them.

"Oh, the brackets for the backboard are back to front too" says I, reading the manual

So he undoes them

Referring to manual I sit on a chair and guide him through instructions.

Silly me - big mistake

He gets right to the end when the backboard still will not go into place because - guess what??

Screws and bolts don't fit.

You've guessed it.

When he opened the packaging, he did not get the screws and bolts and sort them out into groups for each part that needed fixing -

Silly me thought he would have. But I wasn't thinking of the gung ho attitude of dementia

Now it all needs taking completely apart again all the screws checking and putting into the right groups and starting all over again.

Am I fed up??? You jolly well bet I am!!

Are you laughing, you jolly well should be!

Have a good evening...... xxx

?

 

[Lawson58]

My husband and his bridge partner are learning to play bridge online. Twenty phone calls later and somehow they had managed to sort out what they thought they knew what they were doing.

All was going well in their First tournament when one of our cats thought it be nice to dance across the keyboard and sent the whole game into disarray. Apparently the players can add little messages while they are playing and one of the opponents commented that he was confused and had completely lost the plot.

Now, I am supposed to go in and sort out the computer so that he can find his bridge game and get it working again.??

 

[Windy28]

You have to keep the brain working while we hibernate !!!!!


1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

4. How much dirt is there in a hole... that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

5. What word in the English Language... is always spelled incorrectly?

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

8. What was the President's Name...in 1975?

9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in a third field?


Here are the Answers: (No peeking!)


1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?

Answer: Johnny, of course.

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

Answer: Meat.

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn't discovered yet. [You're not very good at this are you?]

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

Answer: Incorrectly

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere.

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.

8. What was the President's Name in 1975?

Answer: Same as is it now – Donald Trump [Oh, come on ..]

9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first.

10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh]

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

Answer: One If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one.

 

[White Rose]

Brilliant - I was rubbish at those questions!

 

[Agzy]

Yay, got them all right without peeking ?