1. Hi everyone
    my mum has been having problems for some years now, being forgetful, confused, then she started being very aggressive with my dad, even hitting him several times. When she couldn't remember something or a word she would ask my dad to say what she couldn't remember, but if he could not guess what she was trying to say she would shout and swear and call him all sorts of names.
    One of my brothers noticed some weeks ago that she had stopped shouting and arguing with my dad and had now become very withdrawn and quiet. Any one who knows my mum knows she is not a quiet person.
    Yesterday everything came to a head, my dad had taken my mum to the Hallamshire Hospital in Sheffield for an assessment prior to having cataract operations on both eyes which was diagnosed some months ago. They refused to go ahead with the operations as she couldn't understand what they were telling her and could not give her consent to the operation. They asked her questions like 'what year is it?' 'do you know where you are?' and she couldn't answer.
    So now my dad has an appointment with their GP on Friday to discuss her problems, he now has mentioned Alzheimer's for the first time which must have been difficult for him. The hospital are going to contact him next week to see what was said and what will happen next.
    My main concern, is it too late for my mum to give my dad 'power of attorney' as she may be too far gone to consent for this, or does my dad have to proceed so he can put things in place for her????
    I feel so sorry for my dad, he's 82 and in very good health, my mum is 79, I live in Lincolnshire, my brothers live in York and Tunbridge Wells so we are not on their doorstep. I would like someone to contact him to explain things as I don't think he realises how bad the situation is already.
    That's my story so far, I had a teary night last night knowing that this is only the beginning, I daren't read any other blogs at the moment, I am frightened of what is to come.
    think I need someone to talk to
     
  2. JayGun

    JayGun Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    291
    Hello lovely,

    You can contact Alzheimers Uk or Age Uk for a bit of handholding and advice.

    It's really overwhelming at the beginning isn't it?

    All you need for your dad to be able to get power of attorney is for the GP to believe that your mum understands about it in that moment. We got it for MIL when she was quite far gone and ranting - but the doctor explained to her what would would happen and why it might be a good idea and she was fine with it. And he was pretty happy that she understood.

    I would suggest that somebody younger is also put on it for extra peace of mind in case something happens to your dad a few years down the line. (Sorry)
     

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