The worst month imaginable.

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by SallyB, Aug 13, 2006.

  1. SallyB

    SallyB Registered User

    May 7, 2005
    60
    Hi Everyone, Haven't been around for a while. Just wanted to update those of you who have been a massive support to me.

    My wonderful Dad passed away last Sunday after being out of hospital for just over four weeks. He went peacefully but I wasn't with him. After all the hours I spent with him including three full nights last week. I guess he wanted to do it by himself. He was talking to me in the morning and asked the staff to call me so that is a lovely memory.

    Dad's going is made even worse for Dean and I as his Grandma died three weeks before. As some of you may remember she had moved in with us after surgery in march. So Dad came out of hospital on the Monday and She went back in the next day. She was 84 but we werent expecting to loose her. Infact we had told her that Dad was dying. When the phone rang early on sunday the 16th July I was expecting it to be Dad. But it was the hospital. We got to her in time but she passed away 4 hours later. 4 weeks today that happened.

    What a month, although she was Deans grandma she brought him up so we have lost the two most important people in our lives in three weeks.

    Sometimes I just wonder if someone is having a laugh at our expense!

    Dad going is just so hard, I thought i was prepared, well as prepared as you can be. I couls see how tired and week he was, but it doesn't make it any easier when you love so deeply.

    Well I think that is enough for now, don't want to go on!

    I would like to say a big thank you to everyone that has answered my posts in the past and helped me get through some hard times.

    Not quite sure what i will do with my time now they have both gone!

    Sally xx
     
  2. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    I'm sorry about your father, Sally.

    Lila
     
  3. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    824
    Sally, I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. It must be so hard on both you and Dean. I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you. Love from Hazel.
     
  4. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    1,157
    hi sally

    just wanted to send my condolences on both your losses
    take care
     
  5. janew

    janew Registered User

    Mar 28, 2005
    51
    Sally & Dean,

    Just wanted to send my condolences to you both at this sad time.

    Jane
     
  6. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    sorry to hear your news

    Sally and Dean

    Thinking of you at this sad time. How difficult to lose two so very important people in such a short space of time. Give yourselves time and take care of yourselves (and each other :) )

    love

    Áine
     
  7. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Hi Sally am sorry to read about your dad

    May Peace be with you x hard I know (hugs)
     
  8. Grandaughter 1

    Grandaughter 1 Registered User

    Jan 17, 2006
    141
    Hampshire
    Hi Sally,

    Many condolences to you at this sad time.

    Louise
     
  9. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi Sally

    Sorry to here of your sad loss, as you say you can never prepare yourself for the loss of someone you love so much, try to find comfort in the joy they brought to your life (even through this illness).
    I know its so hard to bear ......... but when your hurting remember that someone who loves you would not wish to see you in this kind of pain.

    Hope you feel better soon
    Best wishes
    Love Alex x
     
  10. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,871
    Kent
    Sally and Dean

    So sorry to hear of the deaths of your Dad and Dean`s Grandma, 2 such sad losses, so close together. Those who died have endured suffering,as you have, but I hope you will be able to get some consolation from knowing that they, at least, have now found peace.

    Allow yourselves time to grieve.

    With love Grannie G
     
  11. bebee.

    bebee. Registered User

    Mar 24, 2006
    12
    oxon,south.
    Upset!!

    Hello i am 67 years old and my wife is 68 and her behaviour is going mayhem, how do other carer's cope with this disease?? Any tip's would be very helpful.Please write back:) :)
     
  12. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    1,157
    #12 dmc, Aug 13, 2006
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2006
    new thread

    hello bebee

    i think you would get more posts if you opened a new post instead of adding yours to this one perhaps you could give us some indication of your wifes behaviour, how long she has had dementia, etc in what way is her behaviour going mayhem?
    look forward to hearing from you
    take care

    p.s

    i should have added that if you go to the main Support for people with dementia and their carers thread on the top left hand corner it has "new thread" if you press that it will take you to you own thread, i hope thats clear enough for you.
     
  13. jarnee

    jarnee Registered User

    Mar 18, 2006
    181
    leicestershire
    Perhaps somebody clever can move Bebee's post to a new thread ??!!

    Anyway, so sorry to hear of your loss. Nothing any of us can say will really help but i hope it helps to know you have so very many people sending you thoughts and prayers at this time.
    Jarnee
    xxxxxx
     
  14. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    hi bebee

    hi bebee

    welcome to TP. like donna says, it's best to start a new thread and introduce yourself there. it's all a bit confusing finding your way around discussion forums if you're not used to them, but i'm sure you'll soon get the hang of it. if you don't manage to start a new thread i'm sure one of the mods will be able to move this for you. :)

    best wishes

    Áine
     
  15. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    1,157
    thanks áine and jarnee,
    i got into a lot of bother when i tried to move a post myself:eek: this week made a right pigs ear of it, :D
    hope i havent intervened too much this time:rolleyes:
     
  16. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Sally

    My condolences to you. I've yet to know anyone who can say that all the 'preparation' in the world makes losing someone you love any easier ... to lose two much loved and very significant people within such a short space of time is heart-breakingly cruel ... do all you need to take care of yourself .. sure you and Dean will find a new source of strength out of this tragic time...

    Thinking of you both,

    Love, Karen (TF), x
     
  17. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Sally
    I'm so sorry to hear your news....give yourselves time to grieve and look on this as hitting rock bottom ....the only way is up from now...
    Love
    Wendy
    x
     
  18. SallyB

    SallyB Registered User

    May 7, 2005
    60
    Thank you all for your reply's.

    Dad's funeral is tomorow so am trying to prepare for that. Going to be difficult as it appears there will be lots of people that he hasn't seen for years or in some cases doesn't even know!

    Good old funeral, gauranteed to bring em out of the wood work eh!?

    Sally
     
  19. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    hope it goes OK Sally.

    hugs

    Áine
     
  20. jeannette

    jeannette Registered User

    Feb 27, 2006
    55
    I wish you strength and peace and love through the funeral and afterwards.
    So very sorry.
    Jeannette
     

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