The worry of finances

[Marnie63]

Mum is currently No. 3 on the waiting list for my preferred home. I am hoping I can still make day care work so that I can keep her at home for a bit longer with my support and day care visits a few times a week. This should be sustainable, if I can keep getting her through the door of the home!

But, I have now started worrying about finances. Things are OK if I keep her at home and utilise day care, but if she goes into a home, that's something else. Even if she gets some funding from Social Services (which she should), around here the cheapest home is £750 (and it wasn't nice) and even then I'd have to contribute over £200 a week. The chances are that she will end up somewhere costing £850-£950 a week, so that's even more to pay.

I appreciate that we can't all have care for free, but it makes me sad that we have to pay to support our parents when actually it's an illness that's causing us to provide this care for them, rather than old age and the challenges that brings.

So, now I have to consider working again to pay for mum's future stay in a care home (possible) or sell my house and buy something smaller and then buy a rental property to cover the top up for mum's home (also possible, but a lot of hassle and upheaval). All very worrying and unsettling. And on top of that I am worried about there being enough money left for me one day so that I myself can be cared for in a good home (as I have no one to look after me).

I know there's no easy answer to this, but I used to think I had saved well so that I could have a reasonably comfortable existence in my old age, but now this looks like it may be as risk ... and it's deeply unsettling.

I don't expect anyone to provide a solution, just offloading and thanks for reading!!

 

[Pickles53]

Hi Marnie.

You have obviously worked hard to find the place you feel will be best for your mum. Are the fees there similar to the others you looked at? If the LA will be part- or fully funding the care home fees when the time comes, they have to offer at least one place which meets all your mum's needs without charging any 'top-up' fee. If there is no suitable home at a lower fee, you may be OK with the home you have chosen.

There has been another recent discussion about top-up fees. Will try to find the link.

Personally I would not want my daughter to compromise her financial future in any way trying to pay extortionate top-up fees.

EDIT: This might help:

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/show...er-home!&p=1225393&highlight=Fees#post1225393

 

[AnneED]

We found a very good home for a respite stay for mum. Their charges were a bit high. As we were happy with them and they seemed very suitable and happy for mum to stay there I spoke to them about the future and they confirmed that although they had high charges they would be able to drop charges to the council rate if mum's money ran out. Worth investigating with the better homes...

 

[Marnie63]

Thanks for the replies.

Yes, although the fees at the 'favourite' home are rather higher than the possible amount of help quoted by the LA, they are in line with others, and a lot less in some cases (a few I viewed were £1,200 a week!). The Social Worker did give some suggestions on places which would be fully funded (if mum qualifies when the time comes). I need to go and view them, and I have been putting this off as I'm convinced I won't like them! But, see them I must as I've seen enough now to make comparisons.

I think there is some leeway for negotiation in all of this and when the time comes I will certainly do this. The home has told me there's room for negotiation and the Social Worker hinted at the possibility of her being able to apply for a bit more funding. I'll just have to put my best negotiating hat on and go for it.

In the meantime, the nice home charges £50 for mum to spend the whole day there and this is what I'm aiming for (attempt No. 2 tomorrow), although mum has already said she's "not going back to that prison"!!!

 

[Pickles53]

We found a very good home for a respite stay for mum. Their charges were a bit high. As we were happy with them and they seemed very suitable and happy for mum to stay there I spoke to them about the future and they confirmed that although they had high charges they would be able to drop charges to the council rate if mum's money ran out. Worth investigating with the better homes...

Forgot to mention that; the deal was the same at my mum's home but you had to be self-funding for three years before it kicked in.