Welcome to DTP @Topsy Tiger
I wish you strength for Wednesday. Please keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.

 

Dear Topsey Tiger. Sorry about what is to happen and yes I will reflect on Wednesday morning. I dread such a day may arrive with my mum, so I can understand a little of what you are feeling. Please just remember all that you and others did have put this day off for a long time. Without those efforts it would have happened much sooner. With them your mother experienced good years in a safe and loving environment. Try and remember that point in what will be very difficult days in the near future. Sorry I cannot say anymore but I imagine other members will shortly post their support. You have clearly given so much, keep that in mind. Best wishes.

 

Welcome from me too @Topsy Tiger.

What a heartfelt and thoughtful post. I'm glad you shared your feelings here and I hope it helps to know that people totally understand how you must be feeling. Wishing you strength for Wednesday.

 

Welcome Topsy Tiger, I'm sure you have made the decision to place your mum in care because you know in your heart it is the best for her. I don't doubt you will question your decision over the coming weeks but lets hope she is one of those who does settle and finds peace and therefore so do you.

 

Shedding a tear for you both. Wishing you strength for Wednesday and the weeks ahead. Let us know how it goes.

 

Thirteen years is such a long time to care for someone. I will think of you and your mum on Weds. I was going to post a poem on my own thread, but thought I would share this with you. Its a poem that is interpreted in many different ways, but my own is through the veil of dementia and parting of our ways

https://allpoetry.com/Journey's-End

The whole poem can be found in the link.

Journeys End

In western lands beneath the Sun
The flowers may rise in Spring,
The trees may bud, the waters run,
The merry finches sing.
Or there maybe 'tis cloudless night,
And swaying branches bear
The Elven-stars as ......

J R R Tolkien

​

 

Sending (((hugs))) and strength for you on Wednesday xx

 

I will definitely be thinking of you on Wednesday because you could be describing my own mother, everything’s the same except she’s a year younger and only just started showing signs of dementia but it’s progressing rapidly and I feel so sad for you and your mum because I know I’ll feel exactly the same if the day comes for her to go into care. xxx

 

Wishing you strength for Wednesday.x

 

I wish you strength and positivity for everyday now and always. My thoughts and prayers are for everyone - this is our hell, on earth.

 

The day will come - the day will go, the birds will carry on singing, meals to be cooked, washing pegged out, the minutae of daily living, but a life-changing experience for you nonetheless.

Hopefully, the care home staff will ensure your mum isn't sitting anxious, frightened and bewildered and you will be able to visit and see mum settled and happy in her new environment.
Have no regrets, you have been a wonderful and caring daughter for a long time, and the fact that you recognise mum needs more help than you can provide further shows your love and respect..

I'll be thinking of you both on Wednesday; my mum lives with us and at some point we will tread the same path, keep posting, I'm sure we would all like to hear how the day went.

 

Will be thinking of you and your Mum on Wednesday. My Mum has been on a medical assessment ward for 17wks, it's heartbreaking. Sending thoughts and prayers

 

I will be thinking of you on Wednesday & sending you positive thoughts & love. I found that filling Dads room with flowers & familiar bedding etc, made the room his.
Paintings on the wall & pictures of his adored mum plus a radio with his beloved classic fm make Dad feel settled.

((((((((hugs)))))))))

 

Wishing you every strength today. I hope daybreak with you was as beautiful as it was here today. Please let us know how today goes.

 

I hope Wednesday goes as well as it can. I have been there and it isn't an easy thing to do.
Try, if you can not to let too much emotion show whilst you are with your Mum and leave at a point where she is going to have a meal or some other activity, where you can slip away quietly.
We found that once Mummy settled in her CH she became less anxious as less was expected of her.

 

This is something that so many of us have had to do and is't also possibly the hardest decision to make. I spent months agonising over it, knowing that I couldn't go on looking after my wife but kept telling myself 'not yet, not yet'. In the end, the decision was made for me - she suffered another stroke and went from hospital to nursing home. Well done for making the brave decision. I hope it all works out for the best. Hope to be able to hear that your Mum takes the move well. As others have said, it is a completely new phase for you all.

 

I hope your mum’s transition to residential care will not be a traumatic as you fear @Topsy Tiger.

Let us know how it goes on Wednesday