Hello lovely people
So recently my dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia. Now thats terrible enough, even though we all kind of knew his memory loss and lack of 'common sense' wasnt down to old age. After all hes 65.
Things at home are a real struggle too. We moved into this 1930s house three years ago and the house hadnt been touched since the wheel was invented! Eight plug sockets, no heating upstairs, no shower, a conservatory that looked like it was made of twigs and a sneeze could blow it over. We put in for planning permission to do it all up but every time the council refused our plans, our architect would change things without consulting us. What a nightmare! Finally after two years we got permission but building work has been slow the whole house is more like a warzone you see on tv.
Then theres my mum who has lupus and arthritis. She needs all her knuckles replaced but thatd make her hands out of action for eighteen months and how do we know how bad my 18 stone father will be by then! She can barely open a jar how can she care for him when me and my brothers are at work.
We knew there was something wrong after he had a stroke and everything slowed down for him. Trying to plan our new kitchen or taking finances for the project are impossible- he just doesnt get it! They lean on me more than ever to help out. Ive had to calculate the money they have, spending for the project and whatd be left and hahaha I was never blessed with a maths brain!
None of our extended family are there for my mum who keeps saying she will 'be all alone in this' even though she has four kids. When we told my mums sister it was almost like 'so what?' And her brother was equally unhelpful.
Im 22. I have dreams, ambitions and I want a life! But more and more I feel like my mother guilt trips me into staying home or if I go out I have to take her. I barely get alone time- bar the commute to London every day. Meanwhile my dad who I love dearly is this different person. Me and my siblings all agree hes just not... The same. Hes more aggressive, he constantly talks, constantly sleeps and its heart breaking.
I suppose my questions would be how can I help mum? Not only through Alzheimers meetings but general day to day things, what would help a carer like her? What should I do? I feel like I need a way to escape but I barely have time- I commute, get home at 8 and have to go straight to bed (rock and roll I know xD ) and from experiences if the house is completed and that stress is gone does it help?
Sorry for the long rant haha! And thank you for reading <3
So recently my dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia. Now thats terrible enough, even though we all kind of knew his memory loss and lack of 'common sense' wasnt down to old age. After all hes 65.
Things at home are a real struggle too. We moved into this 1930s house three years ago and the house hadnt been touched since the wheel was invented! Eight plug sockets, no heating upstairs, no shower, a conservatory that looked like it was made of twigs and a sneeze could blow it over. We put in for planning permission to do it all up but every time the council refused our plans, our architect would change things without consulting us. What a nightmare! Finally after two years we got permission but building work has been slow the whole house is more like a warzone you see on tv.
Then theres my mum who has lupus and arthritis. She needs all her knuckles replaced but thatd make her hands out of action for eighteen months and how do we know how bad my 18 stone father will be by then! She can barely open a jar how can she care for him when me and my brothers are at work.
We knew there was something wrong after he had a stroke and everything slowed down for him. Trying to plan our new kitchen or taking finances for the project are impossible- he just doesnt get it! They lean on me more than ever to help out. Ive had to calculate the money they have, spending for the project and whatd be left and hahaha I was never blessed with a maths brain!
None of our extended family are there for my mum who keeps saying she will 'be all alone in this' even though she has four kids. When we told my mums sister it was almost like 'so what?' And her brother was equally unhelpful.
Im 22. I have dreams, ambitions and I want a life! But more and more I feel like my mother guilt trips me into staying home or if I go out I have to take her. I barely get alone time- bar the commute to London every day. Meanwhile my dad who I love dearly is this different person. Me and my siblings all agree hes just not... The same. Hes more aggressive, he constantly talks, constantly sleeps and its heart breaking.
I suppose my questions would be how can I help mum? Not only through Alzheimers meetings but general day to day things, what would help a carer like her? What should I do? I feel like I need a way to escape but I barely have time- I commute, get home at 8 and have to go straight to bed (rock and roll I know xD ) and from experiences if the house is completed and that stress is gone does it help?
Sorry for the long rant haha! And thank you for reading <3