the tears started and won't stop

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by tuffydawn, Nov 1, 2018.

  1. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,251
    Oh yes, Alice. That was so so lovely to hear, thank you. There are gifts out there, waiting. I have so many when I visit Keith, and so many on the lovely parkland walk back home. With love, Geraldinexxx
     
  2. MaddieJ

    MaddieJ Registered User

    Sep 1, 2017
    43
    Reading here about the heartbreak when OH goes into CH causes me sadness. I am struggling now and at a relatively early stage trying not to cry in case l upset him more and cause more anxiety. It has happened in the past. We do have hugs still and the future scares me but I keep thinking it will be better in future when he is eventually in care. Though just thinking that fills me with guilt and I cry. It does not get any better does it?
     
  3. Sad Staffs

    Sad Staffs Registered User

    Jun 26, 2018
    678
    Female
    Dear @MaddieJ
    I really relate to what you say, how you feel. It is so sad. I never know what to expect. Sometimes he is as nice as pie, then he is horrible, ranting and swearing in my face.
    I too think that I would at least have a life of my own if he went into a care home. But the times when he is more like he used to be I think how can I possibly contemplate that. There is nothing wrong. Then he turns.... and off we go again. This never ending roller coaster that we can’t get off.
    Guilt is a major problem for us carers. I don’t think a day goes by that I don’t shed buckets of tears. But not in front of my husband. I have done, but he just gets aggressive and accuses me of turning the waterworks on for sympathy.
    I never thought of my husband as cruel and spiteful, but he can be now, but how long do we have to say well its the dementia talking.
    Thinking of you, take care, B xx
     
  4. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,251
    Actually, I quit saying it's the dementia talking a while ago. It just mentally knocks us back into line. Yes, it is a never ending roller coaster we can't get off. And my GP said that it is all about waiting for an accident to happen before we are offered help. But this has to be wrong, surely?
    with love and best. Geraldinexxx
     
  5. Caz60

    Caz60 Registered User

    Jul 24, 2014
    252
    Lancashire
    Thankyou for your soothing words it's clear when the day is through relief will be a great feeling.
    I'm sure we will mark it with tears and memories...then we will carry on .
    Thankyou again and God blessxx
     

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