1. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    Dear friends,

    Sunday is the day I dread and I need your help with jollying things up a bit. (The thread on the "Hills are Alive" makes me giggle a lot, it isn't quite suitable for my Sunday problem).

    Sunday is the day that I try and do a traditional British Sunday Lunch for my mother with Alzheimer's, my father who is 90 with cancer and doubly incontinent and my uncle who has Parkinson's. I can do chirpy conversation for quite a while, and they seem to enjoy the food, but then it all goes a bit difficult. I tried Scrabble for a bit, but it doesn't work now because my Mum's vocabulary is so poor and she gets extremely violent if anyone challenges a word she puts down (have invented it).

    Any ideas for jollying things along a bit? Any suggestions welcome, however frivilous. They all stay for tea as well, by the way.....

    Ta ever so
    Fiona :confused: :confused: :confused:
     
  2. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    What kind of saint are you?

    Goodness me, Fiona, that's a handful!

    Well I hope you get them all to help with the washing up. Or did you 'invent' that word too?
    What about a sing-song?
    Stroll in the garden?
    Dominos?
    Anyone play the piano?
    Do you have any photo albums of times past/shared that they could look at?
    I'm exhausted thinking about your day! Good luck. Love
     
  3. janetruth

    janetruth Registered User

    Mar 20, 2007
    563
    nuneaton
    Hi Fearful Fiona

    Have a face painting afternoon on one condition, Mum does Dads, Dad does Uncles and Uncle does Mums, then they ALL do yours.
    Give them all a colouring nook and some fat crayons.
    Put music on and play pass the parcel, in other words have a kids party, play snakes and ladders etc.
    As a last resort dress up as a clown and entertain them, make them laugh, it's good to laugh.
    Have a fun day
    Take care Bye for now
    Janetruth x
     
  4. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    Hi Deborah,

    Lovely to get a reply, I feel such a wimp having no imagination. Generally potter in the garden helps but it's raining in this part of the world. Yes, great idea about photos, I have loads of old boxes of them so won't have time today, but will trawl through them in the week for next Sunday. Dominoes is too much of a challenge I'm afraid. Mum sort of helps with the washing up so I give my dad and uncle a glass of port and sometimes they nod off.

    No piano here (but once I've found out from Grommit what a kazoo is I may have to get one. ) Oh and you do not want to hear my uncle sing, he only knows one note (oh, now I hear you suggesting "One Note Samba".)

    Hi Janetruth,

    Your suggestions did make me giggle, especially face painting and the clown idea. Even thinking about those will cheer me up while they're here, I may end up having to explain why I'm giggling uncontrollably!!!

    Actually face painting could be a bit of a problem because it may remind Mum that the carers are "stealing" her lipsticks and make up!!! Not true of course, she hides them under her pillow and forgets.

    Thanks so much both of you. I will report back tonight or tomorrow....That's a threat!

    Fiona
     
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Fiona

    I agree with Deborah, you must be a saint! (I asked for a gold medal smilie, but we haven't got one yet).:) :)

    Hope today goes off OK, and we'll look forward to seeing you alive in the hills this evening!

    Love,
     
  6. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    Another thought

    Oh, I've had another bright thought. What about a card game? Not strip poker, obviously.
    Snap can be quite fun.
     
  7. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    Oh please don't call me a saint, because there are people on TP who have far greater problems. This has to be very low in comparison.

    Enjoyed the conversation, it has helped so much. I will try and join the hills are alive this evening, but if not will report back asap anyway.

    Must do food now, oh dear the trifle looks awfully soggy.

    Fiona

    PS - Definitely no strip poker!!!!
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,884
    Kent
    Dear Fiona, maybe too late for today, but why don`t you get a few `nostalgic` sing-alongs, eg. Max Bygraves, Vera Lynn, Des O`Connor.

    I remember Max Bygraves making records his mother could sing along with, they are probably still available.

    I don`t care what you say, you ARE a saint.:)

    love
     
  9. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #9 Margarita, May 13, 2007
    Last edited: May 13, 2007
    Put the TV on with no volume, have the radio on or CD of they would like or your like playing in the background, make a cup of tea, yes ask if anyone ales would like one, then sit down with a book or the internet, you soon get them chatting to you asking what the book about or what your doing on the internet, so you can tell them about the book your reading if they ask, so that bring up a conversation of sort or what happing on the internet , if not just enjoy tapping along to music Hum along to it ( they see your mood up even if your not feeling it, but it seem like it to every one around you, make life easier for me anyway and it does help me feel better )

    When you get fed up of doing that and the music you like pop on dance along with it, as you go of to wash the dishes or what every :)



    As your changing pads, imagine being in that paradise inland or what ever your heart desires, you have the key to unlock your imagination to go where every you like in your mind when your doing any part of the caring roll you don’t really like. It all helps to cope

    Ever tried bowering the radio with iTunes on the internet its amazing searching listening to all the music around the world
     
  10. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Hi Fiona

    Wow, how on earth do you do it, hats off to your girl.

    Suggestion, hummmmm. Well I can only come up with one to add to those already made.

    Something I used to do when mum was, shall I say, being stroppy. I used to get video's from the Library called A Year To Remember, and they go from about 1933 right up to about 1971.

    Mum used to love the old ones from the 30's and 40's, they would spark all sorts of memories, fashion, housing, transport, etc., etc., when she started chatting about a particular part of the video, I would stop it so we could chat, then start it up again. We passed many a fraught free hour like this. Incidentally, you can also buy them on Amazon for as little as £1:20p

    Hope that might help, worth a go maybe.

    I'm sat here now watching the rain pelt down, thinking of you tucking into your roast. Hope you have a good day.

    Love
    Cate
     
  11. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    Thank you so much everyone, you have so many brilliant ideas, I will never dread Sundays again!!

    Today was OK, the trifle was soggy (actually it looked a bit like vomit) but they seemed to like it.

    We managed to spend ages doing the washing up and then I found some old photos which did the trick. As of next week, I will try out the great ideas you have all given me.

    As far as taking my mind off things, I go to a Buddhist meditation class once a week which has helped no end - particularly with practising patience when Mum repeats herself for the umpteenth time!

    You are all great, thanks so much for everything.

    Much love
    Fiona :) :) :) :) :) :)
     
  12. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Fiona, glad it went so well. I still think you're a saint!:) :) :)

    Love,
     
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,884
    Kent
    Fiona, from one Buddhist to another, what on earth are you doing with such a `fearful` username.

    Before you say anything, I totally accept no true Buddhist would ask that question.;)
     
  14. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    Well, I was feeling a bit down when I chose my user name, but now I've got into the swing of things, it does seem a bit daft. On the "Hills are Alive" discussion, I am actually using Fifi La Folle which sounds much more fun. Any chance of changing my user name to that???

    F :)
     
  15. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Fifi la folle's much better. Unfortunately, you can't change your user name. Someone else asked recently. But we'll always think of you as Fifi la folle.
     
  16. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,854
    Wigan, Lancs
  17. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Hi Fifi La Folle sounds lovely :)
     
  18. fearful fiona

    fearful fiona Registered User

    Apr 19, 2007
    723
    London
    Thanks everyone again and thanks Sue for that link which worked. I will definitely order the book, it sounds just the thing.

    Glad everyone likes Fifi La Folle, I thought it sounded a bit more exotic. I suppose I'm not the only one who was in a bit of a state when they first found TP and had trouble finding a name. Shame it can't be changed but in the great scheme of things it matters not a jot.

    Good night all.

    F la F
     
  19. cris

    cris Registered User

    Aug 23, 2006
    326
    Chelmsford
    Fi Fi. As you have just joined, why don't you "re-join" as a new "fi fi". :cool: FiFi is quicker to type than :eek: fearfull fiona. :D
    cris
     
  20. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland

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