Noelphobic,
On what you said,
If you were unfortunate enough to have a disabled child then you would cope because you had to!
Perhaps this is true, but the difference now is that whereas once if I had been told my unborn child would be disabled I would have freaked out, been very much concerned I couldn't love them, possibly would have considered suicide (simply because I would have felt I couldn't cope and couldn't bear to not be able to), absolutely totally would have wanted to give up. I know this is how I would react because i had considered the possibility many a time. Deep down I knew that I probably would manage but my God I knew it would send me to the edge!
But now with the experience of Dad, I understand, that what I, who had never been closely exposed to disability before never understood, is that being disabled is not something to be repulsed by. Ashamed as I am about it now (and was then also but didn't know how to change the way I felt), that is how I used to feel. I have no qualms now that I might reject such a child, I have become far better at separating what is caused by disease or malfunction and the human underneath it all.
I never however, would assume it would be easy, just that I am more emotionally prepared for dealing with such a situation now, perhaps more mature and have more understanding and empathy?
The other day, one of the new guys at Dad's home came up and just hugged me and cried (probably because he sees me do that often to Dad, the hugging bit), a few years ago, I would have freaked out and pushed him away. The other day I just patted him on the back, comforted him and then invited him to walk with Dad and I. This experience changes you, and not always for the bad.