The Smile & Laughter Clinic.

[Sandpiper]

On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window.
Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip
light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.

"I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the
pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time."

 

[Sandpiper]

An elderly gentleman was telling his friend about a new restaurant
he and his wife recently visited.

"The food and service were great!" he said.

His friend asked, "What's the name of the place?"

"Gee, I don't remember," he said, "What do you call the long
stemmed flower people give on special occasions?"

"You mean a rose?" asked his friend.

"That's it!" he exclaimed and turning to his wife, asked,
"Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to the other day?"

 

[Sandpiper]

Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer?
Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.

 

[Rosie Webros]

Oh Sandpiper, You have really made me laugh. I keep reading the jokes out to my husband, he is supposed to be revising for exams!! Your fault if he fails!

I just love the cartoons. Love the one with the dog who had ate the fridge magnets!! Had tears in my eyes!!

Please keep them coming Sandpiper.

Thank you, Rosie xx

 

[Sandpiper]

Oh Sandpiper, You have really made me laugh. I keep reading the jokes out to my husband, he is supposed to be revising for exams!! Your fault if he fails!

I just love the cartoons. Love the one with the dog who had ate the fridge magnets!! Had tears in my eyes!!

Please keep them coming Sandpiper.

Thank you, Rosie xx

Glad to be of service Rosie,I hope hubby enjoys the latest 'medication'.

 

[Sandpiper]

During a tour in South Wales, UK, playing to the former mining communities with enormous success. Dame Sybil Thorndike found herself at a reception at a place called Tenby in Dyfed, Wales.

She was introduced to the assembly as the guest of honour by a rather senile vicar who said, ' I am delighted to have the pleasure of welcoming to our town Dame Sybil, a famous member of the oldest profession in the world.'

 

[Sandpiper]

Dr. Jones goes to the retirement home for his monthly rounds. He sees Joe and asks him, "Joe, how much is three times three?"

Joe responds "59."

He goes over to Tom and asks, "Tom, how much is three times three?"

Tom responds, "Wednesday."

He finally goes over to John and asks, "John, how much is three times three?"

"NINE" replies John.

"That's right ...now how did you come to that answer?"

"It was easy...I just subtracted 59 from Wednesday!"

 

[Sandpiper]

"The pain you have in your left leg, sir, is just a matter of old age" said the doctor. "But Doctor," replied the patient, "Both of my legs are the same age as I am: 78."

 

[Sandpiper]

Here we have today's smile medication.

 

[Tertia]

Dear Sandpiper,

I've only just joined and had been weeping while reading some of the serious topic posts, but, having discovered the s&l clinic I was laughing as well. More power to your elbow.

Tertia

 

[Sandpiper]

Dear Sandpiper,

I've only just joined and had been weeping while reading some of the serious topic posts, but, having discovered the s&l clinic I was laughing as well. More power to your elbow.

Tertia

Ah! great stuff Tertia,proof that the S&L 'medication' does work.
Thank you.

 

[Sandpiper]

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."

 

[Sandpiper]

- What do you call a last will and testament?
A dead giveaway.

 

[Sandpiper]

How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

 

[Sandpiper]

- Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

 

[Sandpiper]

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

 

[Sandpiper]

Old is when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

 

[Sandpiper]

Here are today's chuckle 'pills/medicine'.

 

[Sandpiper]

I have been informed that many of the Illustrations which I have previously used on this thread are not acceptable,owing to copyright.Therefore I have no alternative but to close the 'Clinic'.

 

[jenniferpa]

You can see the reason for this here http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/show...aughter-clinic&p=782844&viewfull=1#post782844