The Sense of Humour has taken a knock

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Grommit, Apr 12, 2013.

  1. Grommit

    Grommit Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    2,127
    Doncaster
    After a short illness my Mother died yesterday.

    Ok, so she was 92 and had not a lot going for her with illnesses which included a broken shoulder, diabetes, dementia and pneumonia but she was my Mum and the only one I had.

    The Nursing staff and I made efforts to combat her last illness, pneumonia, efforts which included hand feeding and frequent hospital visits together with my wife, Jean, now wheelchair bound with the effects of Alzheimers.

    Together we got my Mother back to a stage where she was due to be discharged from Hospital and, in fact, she was only 12 hours away from returning to her Residential Care Home when she died.

    Just suffering the usual pangs of loss and doubt now. Could I have done more? What if this and what if that etc.

    The biggest problem I will have over the coming weeks is that there is no one available to sit round the kitchen table with a cup of tea and talk things through as my wife can no longer understand or use words at all and my Sister, who has had a violent attack of the type of Christianity which rejects family life, is very dismissive of the whole family relationship idea.

    Ahh well, that's families for you.
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,115
    Kent
    I`m so sorry for the loss of your mother Grommit. Sometimes our sense of humour is sorely tested.
     
  3. Butter

    Butter Registered User

    Jan 19, 2012
    6,738
    NeverNeverLand
    I am very sorry to learn of your mother's death. There is sometimes nothing funny to be found.

    I hope you get as much support as I have done from TP. Because if you do, that will help.
     
  4. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,236
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Grommit.
     
  5. ellejay

    ellejay Registered User

    Jan 28, 2011
    4,014
    Essex
    I'm very sorry to hear this Grommit, please accept my condolences

    Lin x
     
  6. garnuft

    garnuft Registered User

    Sep 7, 2012
    6,589
    Aw, Grommit. It's there, alive and kicking, just where your Mum put it down last.

    Sorry to hear about your Mum.

    You must be exhausted.

    Much love and strength to you and Jean, XXX
     
  7. Margaret79

    Margaret79 Registered User

    So sorry to read about your Mum Grommit. Wishing you the strength for the future.

    How about we sit round a virtual table with you, drinking tea and chatting. We're here when you want. Just tell whoever is around to put the kettle on! Oh and my favourites are plain chocolate biscuits and coffee cake!

    Sending a big hug xx
     
  8. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    I know how you are feeling Grommit as I've also lost my mum this week. Life sometimes is hard to take but we keep on battling old friend and I know that your humour will enrich us all again at some time.

    Bless you
    xxTinaT
     
  9. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,589
    West Midlands
    Thinking of you grommit.

    I prefer custard creams, but if it means I have the honour of your company sitting around and drinking tea with buscuits, I choose having the honour of sitting and chatting with you. Don't need the biscuits.

    So sad to hear about your mum.

    If only I could jump in the car and give you a huge hug tonight.

    Much love grommit.

    And a couple of hugs xxxx
     
  10. creativesarah

    creativesarah Registered User

    much support Grommit

    I'm so sorry theres no one like a Mum

    Sarah
     
  11. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,322
    Female
    East Kent
    Dear Grommit
    So sorry to hear about your Mum
    I know its not the same but please talk to us on here
    In your heart of hearts you know you did all you possibly could
    XXXXXX
     
  12. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,331
    leicester
    Grommit

    So sorry to hear your sad news, Mum's are very special aren't they?

    Helen x
     
  13. beech mount

    beech mount Registered User

    Sep 1, 2008
    1,524
    Manchester
    Grommit, the one thing i have found that helps is to retain a sense of humour and to know that all things are inevitable and knowing that to laugh at life.
    John.
     
  14. meme

    meme Registered User

    Aug 29, 2011
    1,955
    Female
    London
    I am so sorry for your sad loss......
     
  15. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,501
    Female
    Near Southampton
    I'm really sorry that you have lost your mum Grommit. I can well understand your feelings. I still miss mine over 30 years after she died. I hope your memories will eventually bring you comfort because in them, she will live for ever. X
     
  16. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,856
    Wigan, Lancs
    I'm so sorry to hear about your mum Grommit - please accept my condolences.

    I think it's natural to think 'what if we had done so and so...' when someone has died. I hope with time you'll come to accept that you did all you could.
     
  17. chana

    chana Registered User

    Jul 17, 2012
    2,188
    europe
    the sense of humor has taken a knock

    im so sorry for your loss. my mom died 8 months ago from alzeimers. i miss her. my dad died from cancer 18 years ago. i miss my parents and i always will. theres nothing wrong with that. what does it matter how old they are--a mom is a mom. a dad is a dad. i dont think age counts.they had a sense of humor that i inherited and it gets me thru a lot. i also have a great husband and children. you always have your memories. nobody can take that from you. reemember that.i have 2 places in my heart--1 for my mom and 1 for my dad.
     
  18. SisterAct

    SisterAct Registered User

    Grommit and TinaT
    So sorry for your losses
    Thinking of you both
    Luv
    Polly xx
     
  19. Soobee

    Soobee Registered User

    Aug 22, 2009
    2,734
    South
    so sorry for your loss Grommit and TinaT.
     
  20. turbo

    turbo Registered User

    Aug 1, 2007
    3,851
    Hello grommit, I am sorry to read your sad news about your mum. My sincere condolences.


    turbo
     

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