Sorry, I have not been around much for anyone of late .... but I thought this was worth posting ....
Mum's 'package' of day care and buddying through the week all seemed to have settled wonderfully - giving her much needed stimulation and me a much needed break from daily visits ............... this week I thought I had reached Utopia ....... an extra day at the day centre thanks to Valentine's Day. I had my reservations ..... would she remember dad? Would it actually distress her? No - mum - as the true 'if I can get anything for nothing' crusader of her particular genre of her generation was determined to go ........... so I agreed when the day centre checked out with me that she was Ok to go ... that was before she muddled things claiming she had a doctor's appointment on the day (which she hadn't) ..... that she was not waiting about for the transport laid on ...... (strange change of mind on the finanical front ... she wanted a taxi booking and didn't mind what it cost as long as she didn't 'miss out') ..... blah blah ... I have spent the best part of a week reassuring that arrangements were all in hand ....... taking the phone calls from SSD and the day centre themselves when she has contradicted everything we have put in place for her ......
Mum reports tonight she has had a 'great day' - but quite frankly - my own moans aside about the angst this has caused - it has proved how she cannot cope with any change of routine ....... and there is part of me tonight saying ... 'forget those special days' ...... However much she has enjoyed it - can it equate with the anxiety it has provoked for her? We seemed to be doing so well with 'If it's Tuesday you know this happens ......?' A change of day, a change of 'transport time' ... and mum has been in panic mode for days.........
The importance of routine has been advocated from so many sources, but I never felt its full impact until this week - when things were changed for what seemed a very positive reason ....... but has had a hugely negative impact in terms of disorientation ........ (not to mention my stress levels)
Comments welcomed, Karen, x
Mum's 'package' of day care and buddying through the week all seemed to have settled wonderfully - giving her much needed stimulation and me a much needed break from daily visits ............... this week I thought I had reached Utopia ....... an extra day at the day centre thanks to Valentine's Day. I had my reservations ..... would she remember dad? Would it actually distress her? No - mum - as the true 'if I can get anything for nothing' crusader of her particular genre of her generation was determined to go ........... so I agreed when the day centre checked out with me that she was Ok to go ... that was before she muddled things claiming she had a doctor's appointment on the day (which she hadn't) ..... that she was not waiting about for the transport laid on ...... (strange change of mind on the finanical front ... she wanted a taxi booking and didn't mind what it cost as long as she didn't 'miss out') ..... blah blah ... I have spent the best part of a week reassuring that arrangements were all in hand ....... taking the phone calls from SSD and the day centre themselves when she has contradicted everything we have put in place for her ......
Mum reports tonight she has had a 'great day' - but quite frankly - my own moans aside about the angst this has caused - it has proved how she cannot cope with any change of routine ....... and there is part of me tonight saying ... 'forget those special days' ...... However much she has enjoyed it - can it equate with the anxiety it has provoked for her? We seemed to be doing so well with 'If it's Tuesday you know this happens ......?' A change of day, a change of 'transport time' ... and mum has been in panic mode for days.........
The importance of routine has been advocated from so many sources, but I never felt its full impact until this week - when things were changed for what seemed a very positive reason ....... but has had a hugely negative impact in terms of disorientation ........ (not to mention my stress levels)
Comments welcomed, Karen, x