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The potential cost of a care home verses increased home help ?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Frankieisblue, Dec 20, 2015.

  1. Frankieisblue

    Frankieisblue Registered User

    Dec 19, 2015
    58
    Firstly many thanks for your lovely advice in my first ever post , I feel at home already !! X

    What sort on a weekly basis is a care home because I think with a bit of extra help at home we may find ourselves in a better situation

    I will phone adult social services on Monday and try and get an assessment of dads and mums needs as his main carer ......and ask about respite ......I know there is a council run day centre just up the road but dad is not a very social person at all....but my mother must have some breathing space one way or another and its either day centre and home help or a care home , I simply can't see any other solution

    Best wishes to all of you

    I should mention that dad is very weak on his feet , to the point of us about to fit a stairlift through a local charity and we have already had the bathroom made into a wet room so a lot of driving him around to social meetings isn't really practicable as it takes so long to get him in and out of the car ....he is literally housebound

    Both me and mum like having him here as he is mostly quiet , peaceful and not aggressive but it just gets so draining sometimes .......especially when he needs a lot of personal care .....the problem is I am sure we could sort out a package to help get him washed and dressed in the morning but when he is incontinent that comes without warning , often at three on a Tuesday , early hours .....how can that be dealt with apart from him being in a home twenty four seven ?

    Have a good day , bless you
     
  2. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,490
    Female
    London
    Only you know what you can cope with and what not but there are plenty of incontinent people happily living at home. Get yourself referred to the Continence Service for help with pads and any medication he might need. Get him used to wearing the pads. Toilet him regularly during the day. Some people toilet and change people at night, I don't. Buy waterproof mattress covers, pillow cases, Kylie sheets etc, plus a RADAR key for disabled toilets. But above all, learn to live with the unpredictability! Be vigilant for UTIs and if his skin suffers, get a good barrier cream like Doublebase prescribed.
    If he has the need for help at night, he will be eligible for higher rate Attendance Allowance, which will help with the above costs.
     
  3. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    Try the social services assessment first and see how much help you can get at home. It is surprising what a difference it makes. You have reached the bottom with no help - not surprisingly - and now you need to push to get the assessment.
    As Beate says the continence nurses are very helpful too
    Ask social services for an occupational therapy/phsio assessment if your dad is weak on his legs - there are all sorts of aids that are useful but it needs individual assessment.

    If you and your Mum like having your Dad at home then tell social services that - you can get 4 visits a day, lots of people have that, high rate attendance allowance (ask Age UK to send someone out to help with the forms as they are a bit tricky), carers assessment to give you and your mum a break, day care if suitable ...there are lots of options and if it doesn't work out then you will know that you have tried with help and it isn't ok. There is light at the end of this tunnel but you do need to reach out for help xxxx
     
  4. Frankieisblue

    Frankieisblue Registered User

    Dec 19, 2015
    58
    Thank you

    Much help
     
  5. Frankieisblue

    Frankieisblue Registered User

    Dec 19, 2015
    58
    Dearest thanks

    Bless you
     
  6. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    I just posted on your other thread, but wanted to add here.

    I care for my Dad at home ( my brother and his partner live with us too, but go out to work) and don't regret having done it. It's been hard, but with the right support, incredibly rewarding for all concerned. When he has to go into a Care home, we will - as Fizzie says - know that we have tried.

    Heidi xx
     
  7. Frankieisblue

    Frankieisblue Registered User

    Dec 19, 2015
    58
    Thank you so much

    Xx
     

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