1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. ciaramal15

    ciaramal15 Registered User

    Jan 28, 2015
    5
    Ireland
    This is my first time posting on here, but i have been reading posts since late last year.

    In January my dad 67 was diagnosed with early stages of Alzheimer's, my mother had an idea for sometime, however, i didn't want to believe it.

    Anyway, i broke the routine last week and did not see him every day as normal.

    On Monday i called in as normal to see them, and he did not recognise me, i think he thought i was his sister. After telling him who i was, he started to refer to the other Ciara, the one who always called, and where was she, if i was there.

    This has being going on all week, where he now thinks there are two of me.

    I am just wondering if anyone else has experienced this?

    Thanks for reading.

    Ciara
     
  2. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,826
    UK
    Sorry, my first answer does not seem to have made it on to your thread, so will try again, but you may get two replies!

    This happens to me almost every day now. mum has lived with me for just over a year and for most of the time she believes there are two of me. Often calls out my name and when I say I'm here she says not you the other one. She believes the other one works for us. She does sometimes talk to me about the other one and oddly we have lived the same life. If this distresses her I usually tell her the other one has gone home and will be back tomorrow. For a while last summer she also thought there were two of my brother, but that's gone now, he's back to one. Often she has got me confused with other people in her life and occasionally she has thought I am her mother and this has sometimes been useful because she always did what her mother wanted and so when I am 'my granny' I am a person of authority and she does not argue with me It doesn't worry or distress me any more, I suppose I've got used to it. My biggest challenge is trying to get mum to understand simple instructions which of course she can't retain and writing notes for her no longer works because although she is holding the written instructions, she forgets to look at them, anyway she thinks the other one has done this!
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,596
    Kent
    Hello Ciara

    I`m afraid it`s par for the course in some people with dementia and all you can do is go along with it.

    It might not be permanent , your dad may see the `real` you on your next visit . I hope so.
     
  4. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,701
    Hi Ciara,

    We've had this issue with my Mil (mum in law) for quite a long time now - we call it 'the multiples'. She lives with myself and her son (my hubby) and we have periods of time where she is utterly convinced that there are two of me, two of my hubby - and even two of our kids and pets. These 'others' live in a house that is identiacl to ours, down to the same furniture and pictures on the wall, and it varies as to which of the two of us all are the good guys or the bad guys in her mind. Sometimes she wants to go back and live with the 'other Ann' because she is 'nice, other times she will tell me how horrible the others are. I can help her have a bath, leave her to finish dressing and by the time she has come downstairs, she is bursting to tell me all about how 'Ann' made her bathe and what she said and did. She has said to me 'Ann - do you know where Ann has gone?' and often if she asks for hubby, and I tell her that he is in work, she will respond with 'I don't mean your S*** - I mean MY S***'.

    Once or twice, things she has said have left me convinced that the other 'Ann' and her family are a lot younger than I, hubby and the kids are, so I am guessing that when she is like this, she is thinking of how we all were several years ago, but not realising that we are the same people - only older, if that makes sense?

    It is awfully confusing to have any sort of conversation or communication with her when she is like this and it can be very frustrating - both for her and us! For the most part, unless its causing her upset, I've found that just sort of 'going along' with it, throwing in non-committal remarks like 'Really?', 'Oh dear!' or 'That's nice' or 'She/he might be here later', tends to work best - it only gets fraught if she gets adamant that she wants the other Ann or S*** 'right now' - and obviously, that's impossible.

    It does leave your head absolutely battered dealing with it though, so you do have my sympathy xxxx
     
  5. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,976
    Suffolk
    Hi
    Welcome! I care for my OH. Only once did he think I was his mother, more often he asks me where his wife us, so I say she had to go out, but she's left me to look after you. So at bedtime I will put him to bed and he will say, when will my wife be back? So I tell him she will be back at her bedtime ( OH used to go very early) and he accepts that.
     
  6. ciaramal15

    ciaramal15 Registered User

    Jan 28, 2015
    5
    Ireland
    Thanks for the replies everyone.

    I'm finding it hard the last week or so, and when he didn't know me it hit me like a bus! I know it isn't him and it is this god awful disease, but it's so horrible to see the dad I once knew disappear slowly before my eyes, as I am sure you all know too well.

    A lot of emotions going on at the moment, but it's good I can come here and vent if I need to.

    He was still looking for the other me yesterday, but at the same time he knew me, I think I'm more confused than him lol!!

    Ciara
     
  7. Varilite

    Varilite Registered User

    Jan 26, 2015
    8
    I wandered on to this thread out of curiosity, and I'm so glad I did. I'm often the other me, or rather it goes in cycles, not for ages & then constantly for a few days. I visit pretty much every other day & Mum will say, 'you should ask Jane' and when I say I am Jane, she says, 'you know, the other one'. One day she spent my entire visit being very polite, asking after my family & thanking me for coming to visit...under the impression I was the daughter of a friend of hers. To know it's par for the course makes it much less scary, so thanks for sharing; I wouldn't be without you guys.
     
  8. Livveywills

    Livveywills Registered User

    Jul 11, 2015
    57
    Apparently there are lots of people called emma, who look just
    Like me, they are all confused people who think my mother is their mother. I have two husbands the one with the beard and the one without, it us anybody's guess which of the many Emma's he might be married to. There are only one set of children curiously, none of the other Emma's seem to have kids although one of them is taking my mum on holiday next week with all the kids! I try and keep up with who I'm supposed to be but it gets awfully confusing I might be referring to something that happened earlier that day only to discover that I wasn't there it was another emma. And why I say I'm exhausted when there are do many of me? Well clearly I need to see the doctor for sone tablets because my mother is fine it's all me.

    Thinking about it the day I found myself writing a thank you note from one of the other Emma's to thank my mum for a colouring that she'd given me to pass to her I did begin to wonder if I might be losing the plot!
     

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