The normality of Dementia

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Flake, Dec 15, 2015.

  1. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,289
    SW London
    I particularly remember a conversation with FIL, when he was telling us all about his housekeeper (he had never had such a thing) and what a trollop she was, and how he'd found her in bed with a man in his own house (where he hadn't lived for months), dear oh dear, how disgraceful.
    OH and I found it all quite fascinating and went along with it all, 'Oh, really?' etc.
    He could still come across as perfectly lucid at the time and nobody who didn't know he had dementia would have believed every word.

    (We did work out later where this interesting concoction had come from.)
     
  2. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,035
    That's the point - there is some connection somewhere more of a confusion than a concoction it sounds.

    Trouble is if you mention 'dementia' symptoms people don't believe what you are saying, that's what leaves us vulnerable and feeling so too.
     
  3. Flake

    Flake Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    222
    Ive had a similar-ish conversation with my Mum. She said that the army trucks used to park outside her house as all the soldiers used to come in for drinks! They were allowed in the front parlour then as the pubs were shut. She then told one of the Carers that I was always out with different men and that she knew the Carer was covering for me! She then said her sister used to bring men in and she was not allowed to have men in their room. I will never get to the bottom of this one as both my Mum and her Sister have Dementia, but it has been said that my Aunt was a good time girl and loved to go out dancing! :)
     
  4. MrsTerryN

    MrsTerryN Registered User

    Dec 17, 2012
    769
    Mum told her geriatrican that she had had an affair when she was working. Okey dokey mum. Really hope she doesnt tell me
     
  5. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,984
    Cotswolds
    Butting in...

    Excuse me butting in but have just read the last few posts on here, and remembered that a couple of days ago my husband insisted the room had been full of invading cats! I'd missed them, but they'd just gone. Their numbers varied from many, to seven, then four, and then one. The truth was that one cat did actually come to visit us, no idea who it belongs to, but someone away I expect, who's cat was lonely.

    So something that really happened sowed a seed. We've also had lots of visitors all talking at once, when the truth has been that one person has popped in. Weird.
     
  6. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,289
    SW London
    #26 Witzend, Dec 22, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2015
    We thought it had come about after he'd stayed with BiL and SiL for a few days. He was in the habit of wandering about a lot at might, going into bedrooms and peering at sleepers to see who was sleeping in 'his' house. So we worked out that SiL must have been the 'housekeeper' since she did all the cooking and cleaning, and because on one of his nightly wanderings he had found her in bed with BiL, therefore she was up to no good with 'a man'.

    He did have somewhat old-fashioned attitudes and would repeatedly ask me why he couldn't go home with 'a woman' to look after him, and do everything. He was under the impression that someone would be only too glad to be cook-housekeeper in return for free bed and board, but no pay. It was interesting that his sister, who didn't have dementia, also thought such an arrangement would be possible for herself. She was quite put out when she asked someone she knew, and they more or less said, 'No way!'
     
  7. 1mindy

    1mindy Registered User

    Jul 21, 2015
    539
    Female
    Shropshire
    Often somewhere there is something to be gleaned that started off the thought process
    However last night I came to bed thinking I was me . Apparently not.
    "How many children do you have" asked my oh.
    "Two" I replied.
    "How old are they "
    " 26 and 24 "
    "How old are you"
    "57 "
    " Gosh you were old when you started"
    So I asked if he had children
    "No ,its going to be a cheap Christmas" came the reply.
    " Where do your parents live " he asked
    " They are both dead " I replied
    Total shock from oh.Poor you,so you are all alone how dreadful.
    And so it went on and on.He really talks a lot more now than he has ever done
    I still have no idea who he thought he was in bed with.
     
  8. Flake

    Flake Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    222
    My mum got into such a muddle this afternoon as I had bought her Christmas cards to give to my sons - her grandsons. She knew she had 2 cards but did not know which card was the older one. It took abut half an hour for her to read and re-read the message inside, fall in love with the animals on the front and she managed to sign it from Nana and Granddad (Granddad died 15 years ago). The other card was signed the same but then from Mum and Dad. She was so pleased that she got it right - and for her to get such pleasure out of something for me - so simple, was lovely to see. :)
     
  9. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,984
    Cotswolds
    Sometimes my husband asks me, "Anne, where's Anne?" A few times he's proposed to me, thinks I'm lovely and would be honoured if I'd agree to spend my life with him! Once I said we had been married, for over fifty years. " Oh thank goodness!" he said.:)
     
  10. Flake

    Flake Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    222
    Strange Christmas Day

    I was wondering how my Christmas Day would pan out. Went round to my Mum in the morning gave her her breakfast and meds. She opened her presents, even though she thought they were mine! I said that I would be back later to take her to mine for Dinner - whatever you think is best - was the reply.
    My sons and I went to collect her at 1pm. She was in bed sound asleep. After gently waking her up she went on the tumbleweed of questions to my sons, over and over the questions went and she was happily chatting while I made a sandwich. She made no attempt to get out of bed so we left to come home and have our dinner. This is the first year that she has not come for the day, so I took her a Christmas dinner today. Two mouthfuls later and she could not eat any more - there was I feeling quite sad as dementia certainly has its hold - but she is happy and that is what counts. :(
     

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