• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

The Last Goodbye

Nutty Nan

Registered User
Nov 2, 2003
788
Buckinghamshire
I have been on many trips and journeys, waving people goodbye at railway stations and airports ....... now, after 8 years of the 'long goodbye', we find ourselves on this utterly surreal platform, exchanging hugs, kisses, love and tears, waiting for the toughest of 'goodbyes' ever ........ we were told on Tuesday afternoon that 'the end' is near, my husband is being kept comfortable and (hopefully) painfree, but with organ failure and severe dehydration, he is being allowed to stay at home, waiting for nature to take its course.
After the initial shock and denial (so not ready to give up!!), there is a strange peace and calm in and around us. He is not struggling, and we are trying to surround him with love, music and positive thoughts. Time is standing still. After worrying about this for so long, I can't quite take it in that we are now in this situation. I am so utterly sad, but I am also grateful that he is here with us and we can be with him.
(If there was I smiley with a little tear in its eye, I'd replace the one in my signature .....)
 

Tina

Registered User
May 19, 2006
420
Dear Nutty Nan,

I have been following your threads and am so sad for you and yours that this time has now come. But how wonderful to read that your husband is at home and accompanied on his way by his family who will make sure his journey is a peaceful one and he can go safely and quietly.

Feeling for you and sending you caring thoughts and this sad time,
love Tina
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,406
Kent
Nutty Nan

It has been a long journey for you my dear and I hope the end continues to be as peaceful you have desribed it.
With love xx
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Please grant me the strength to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept those I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Dear Nan

Your signature says it all. :)

You have done everything you possibly could for your husband, have changed whatever you could change -- and are now showing the serenity you asked for. You are an example to us all.

I wish you, your husband and your family the serenity to bring this journey to a peaceful end.

Love,
 

andrear

Registered User
Feb 13, 2008
402
Yorkshire
HI Nutty Nan

My thoughts go out to you at this fragile time you are now entering.
Please take care of yourself.
Love AndreaX
 

angela.robinson

Registered User
Dec 27, 2004
520
77
Dear Nan,there is a tear in my eye as i read this post ,i have always followed your threads,as we had so much in common and we joined TP around the same time,though i lost my husband 3 yr`s back.I have admired your determination to keep your dear husband at home,and cope with all this dreadfull illness has thrown at you, i hope the end is peacefull, what nicer than having your loved one at home surrounded with music, family, and great love .Take care.
Luv n` Hugs.
Angela.xxxxxx
 

Mameeskye

Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
1,669
55
NZ
Hi Nan

This is a goodbye but this transition time is so very special, and to be peaceful and accepting will give you some beautiful, if very sad memories.

Love to you all in this vigil

Mameeskye
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
My dear Carmen.

May you find the strength and peace you need at this time.
Love, I know, is there in abundance.
Thinking of you both.
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
66
East Midlands
Oh Nan,

I recall this surreal feeling from when my dad died at home..

Mum and I played his favourite music..I sat by his side and read his favourite words..it was peaceful..and beautiful in a strange way..
And very comforting to us...

I sincerely hope it will be the same for you..and your husband..

My love and thoughts are with you...gigi xx
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
Derbyshire
After such a long difficult time, I do hope that you are blessed now with the peace and inner strength you need.
God Bless and loving thoughts are heading your way.
Love Jan

(attached: smiley with tear :eek:
 

Bristolbelle

Registered User
Aug 18, 2006
1,847
Bristol
I've trodden a similar path...

... and as you describe so it was when Dad died. After being there and sharing such a peaceful end was a great comfort to us all, I hope and trust that peace will be with you now. Gentle thoughts

Firebelle
 

barbara h

Registered User
Feb 15, 2008
96
county durham
Like everyone else it is difficult to know what to say just to echo other people's words and wish your husband peace at the end of this long journey.

Take care
Barbara h
 

LIZ50

Registered User
Mar 23, 2008
56
Hampshire
Dear Nan

So sorry to hear your news but hope that you will continue to find the strength to carry you through this sad time.
Thinking of you.
Love Lizx