Mum with AD is the oldest of 7. Mum was the glue that held all the family together, and were all quite close after their own parents died.... but now 1 brother lives overseas, and phones Mum up every 6mths or so, and and at least made the effort to come over and visit 2 yrs ago, and is planning on coming again soon. 1 brother who lived here just 20mns by car, and who moved overseas with his wife 2 yrs ago, who did not even phone or visit to say goodbye before they emigrated 1 brother who is a functioning alcoholic, who rings every few months when drinking and has visited 4 times in 3 years... but lives just 20mns away also. 1 sister who is a functioning alcoholic also who lives 10mns away, phones Mum very infrequently, says she " Wishes she could help" but has not visited personally for over 18mths. 1 sister who lives 20mns away, whom Mum hasn't seen for 3mths, and phones infrequently. 1 sister who phones every fortnight, and visits Mum & Dad every few months, and lives 20mns away also. So now we have the last 2 sisters in the list who are leaving tomorrow for Scotland for a month. We cannot tell Mum at all as it would make things intolerable with anxiety, repetition, and probably anger at being excluded. So we have come up with a story if we need to use it. The one sister that phones often, came to visit Mum and Dad just the other week, and phoned Mum yesterday before they leave tomorrow. The other sister promised to visit and hasn't. Don't know how you can plan a month long holiday, take a month off work, arrange to visit all your old friends back in Scotland, but can't take the time out to drive 20mns by car to see your own sister with Alzheimers before you go. As you all know a month in the dementia journey anything can happen. I have tried so hard to make the effort where Mum is concerned to keep in touch with her siblings, take her to visit or organise for them to visit... but really now I've had enough. It just adds to my list of "things to do" and the resulting stress isn't worth it.