The Horrors of Night terrors and lewy Body`s
As i walked into the front room, i glanced at the clock on the wall, it was 5.15 am and it felt cold. Its usually always warm where we live because of the underfloor heating, but today it was so cold, or at least i thought it was, because i had just had one of the worst night terrors i have had for years. these are not hallucinations, but very real Night terrors. The word nightmare doesn't do it justice because these are so disturbing, they are what every horror you can imagine rolled into one, your very worst fears, and more, coming to life, playing out, in front of your very eyes. I will not, and would not describe what i saw, not even to my very own "Angel" Elaine, Night terrors like this need to be suppressed and forgotten about , if at all possible, and not something to burden loved ones with, this is the cruelest disease.
I sat there, head in hands, shaking and sweating as flashback after flashback came rushing through my mins like a torrent of water, breaking riverbanks, or pieces of my very own sanity as they flashed past. I looked around the room for comfort, for things i see everyday, i love our little flat and i love where i live. I concentrated on pictures of my grandchildren and the feeling of love for them rushed through my body, making me feel so much better for a little while. As i sat and looked around me my mind wandered and i thought of all the others with Lewy Body`s dementia and other types of dementia who go through the same thing, then, and awful thought filled my head which hit me like a thunderbolt!!
What happens when i go into late stages ???
The thought of having these kind of horrific terrors in late stage dementia and having lost the power of speech and actions, how will i ever survive whilst trapped in a body that cannot function as it used to but still having these night terrors and flashbacks ?This must be what they mean when they say HELL ON EARTH !!. And what of all the guys who are already in this position ?? What horrid awful times they must be going through and being unable to express whats happening to them can only be imagined as the worst living terror there is, no wonder so many with this awful disease look frightened and scared. Some times Elaine tells me she can see the fear in my eyes and feels helpless at times as what to do, my goodness, how many more carers and people living with dementia go though the same thing?
I have to live with this disease, i have to fight these feelings every day and somehow get on with my life as normal as possible (As far as others are concerned) but deep within, is always that fear of what the next night will bring, the horrors i may see, and the upset it causes my family as they see me disheveled and confused as the flashbacks come thick and fast. I am the only one that can see these repeated horrors, as i walk down the road, sit in a cafe, or try to get through each day. I dont write this to upset anybody, or to frighten people, but i write these blogs to share with all, so all will understand the horrors that befalls us sometimes. It sounds really strange to say "i hope this helps" but i do
Norrms, Diagnosed with dementia 7 years ago and still fighting it., Just seem to be fighting a little harder these days, Please share, but only iof you want too. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
As i walked into the front room, i glanced at the clock on the wall, it was 5.15 am and it felt cold. Its usually always warm where we live because of the underfloor heating, but today it was so cold, or at least i thought it was, because i had just had one of the worst night terrors i have had for years. these are not hallucinations, but very real Night terrors. The word nightmare doesn't do it justice because these are so disturbing, they are what every horror you can imagine rolled into one, your very worst fears, and more, coming to life, playing out, in front of your very eyes. I will not, and would not describe what i saw, not even to my very own "Angel" Elaine, Night terrors like this need to be suppressed and forgotten about , if at all possible, and not something to burden loved ones with, this is the cruelest disease.
I sat there, head in hands, shaking and sweating as flashback after flashback came rushing through my mins like a torrent of water, breaking riverbanks, or pieces of my very own sanity as they flashed past. I looked around the room for comfort, for things i see everyday, i love our little flat and i love where i live. I concentrated on pictures of my grandchildren and the feeling of love for them rushed through my body, making me feel so much better for a little while. As i sat and looked around me my mind wandered and i thought of all the others with Lewy Body`s dementia and other types of dementia who go through the same thing, then, and awful thought filled my head which hit me like a thunderbolt!!
What happens when i go into late stages ???
The thought of having these kind of horrific terrors in late stage dementia and having lost the power of speech and actions, how will i ever survive whilst trapped in a body that cannot function as it used to but still having these night terrors and flashbacks ?This must be what they mean when they say HELL ON EARTH !!. And what of all the guys who are already in this position ?? What horrid awful times they must be going through and being unable to express whats happening to them can only be imagined as the worst living terror there is, no wonder so many with this awful disease look frightened and scared. Some times Elaine tells me she can see the fear in my eyes and feels helpless at times as what to do, my goodness, how many more carers and people living with dementia go though the same thing?
I have to live with this disease, i have to fight these feelings every day and somehow get on with my life as normal as possible (As far as others are concerned) but deep within, is always that fear of what the next night will bring, the horrors i may see, and the upset it causes my family as they see me disheveled and confused as the flashbacks come thick and fast. I am the only one that can see these repeated horrors, as i walk down the road, sit in a cafe, or try to get through each day. I dont write this to upset anybody, or to frighten people, but i write these blogs to share with all, so all will understand the horrors that befalls us sometimes. It sounds really strange to say "i hope this helps" but i do
Norrms, Diagnosed with dementia 7 years ago and still fighting it., Just seem to be fighting a little harder these days, Please share, but only iof you want too. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx