The Happy Thread for Good Things That Happen

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Suzanna1969, Apr 14, 2015.

  1. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    Having only recently joined I feel very humbled by reading some of the members' experiences. God knows how I will cope if/when my Mum attacks me, messes her bed, runs out of the house in the small hours in her nightie etc etc.

    But I know it would mean a lot to me and hopefully others to hear about happier occurrences too. Here is one from me:

    Mum and Dad have barely been out of the house since Mum's first major stroke back in August, except when I've brought them home to mine for dinner etc. Mum's Vascular Dementia has been getting progressively worse in that time and she's very reluctant to leave the house except to go into the garden, even to see her friend she's known for 70 years. My Dad, who has Vascular Parkinson's, has been going stir crazy as he wants to get out while he still has some (very poor) mobility. As with many old people they use winter as an excuse to put off going anywhere 'until the weather is better' even when the winter sun is shining brightly! Also they are now totally reliant on me and my brother taking them anywhere as Dad had to give up driving and is too frail to go out on his own so are obsessed with 'being a burden' and 'you have your own lives'.

    But yesterday was the day a new Over 60s club opened in their village. Despite their protestations (as usual) that they didn't want to trouble me I said I'd be more than happy to take them. Dad has been feeling really isolated also due to the fact that he's lost all of his friends in the last few years (he's 87 and has outlived them all) so I was PRAYING that Mum would be ok to go. Most mornings she is in tears for hours and inconsolable. When I arrived she was hesitant about getting into the car, my heart was in my mouth when she said 'Oh I don't like this' a few times but I managed to distract her by asking her to help me get Dad in the car. I walked them into the community centre where there were a good couple of dozen people all sitting and chatting with a wonderful array of cakes available! I attracted the attention of one of the lovely ladies who have taken it upon themselves to set this up to quickly let her know about my parents' conditions and that I'd be outside in my car if I was needed. Bless her she was very understanding and assured me she would make sure they weren't left on their own.

    Then I looked up and saw both Mum and Dad chatting happily to different people! They didn't even notice I was still there! I slipped out and sat in my car with my book, Fearne Cotton on Radio 1 and my legs sticking out in the sunshine and felt a bit like I was waiting for my kid to come out of their first school disco!

    After over an hour the organiser lady popped out to tell me that Mum and Dad were getting ready to leave. Dad was really happy and joking and Mum was chortling away in mid convo and had a piece of cake wrapped up in a serviette to take home. I waited patiently for them to say their goodbyes, honestly I wanted to cry I was so happy but I was distracted by the handsome fireman who had been there to give information on free smoke alarms. Obviously my parents already have one but he said he could come round and check it so he took my phone number (Yeah! Still got it!) and then I helped Dad to the car with Mum trailing behind chatting to her new friends (and some she hasn't seen since she was president of the local WI)

    I know there are dark days ahead but I hope there will be some more good ones too. The next meeting is in a month and of course she might throw a wobbly and refuse to go but I am chalking yesterday up as A Win.
  2. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    What a lovely post, I am so pleased it went well and hope your mum and dad get many more outings like this.

    Jeany x
  3. jimbo 111

    jimbo 111 Registered User

    Jan 23, 2009
    North Bucks
    Happy to share your joy
    Thank you
    God Bless
  4. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    Thanks guys. I am still getting used to the roller coaster of crashing lows (like when Mum asked me who I was for the first time) and euphoric highs from very simple things. Some of the experiences I'm reading about here fill me with dread for the future so I thought it might be nice to have a thread for sharing happier occurrences, however brief and trivial.

    Does anyone else have any to share? I know I am not as far on the journey as many so I probably have more happy moments - for now anyway.
  5. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    Thank you Suzanna,
    I have had a worrying few days with my husband and the carer who brought him back from his day centre said "he has been nice today" as he is often grumpy and uncooperative this means a lot,
  6. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    My husband has been rather downhearted lately, but today, maybe because the sun's shining, he's been happily sitting beside our little pond, watching the goldfish.
  7. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    near Folkestone
    We got lots of baby goldfish in our little pond and our 5 tortoises are out from hibernation :) it's so peaceful watching animals .

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  8. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    As the saying goes " I love it when a plan comes together" :D
    Great to hear Suzanna.

    My parents , Mum 74 with AD & Dad 77 with cognitive impairment in their days were great dancers. Especially the jive.
    For over 2 years now Mum has stopped dancing. She's scared she will fall and Dad will spin her too fast. Plus she is starting to forget the steps and her co ordination isn't quite there.
    Several months back I took them to see a rock n roll band.
    Dad wanted to dance. With a bit of encouragement from me, and a warning to Dad to go slow, they got up and danced and the smile on Mums face said it all :D
    I even filmed it on my camera :)

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