Hi All, Haven't posted for a while - been a busy and stressful time searching for a care home for mum. Have now rung over 30, visited 14 and finally found one that will pay the council rate ( a miracle), has a vacancy, has a good CQC report and is near enough for me to visit at least twice a week. It's not bad, the staff seen caring and kind, it's a bit tatty and smelly but that's par for the course, mum seems to have settled well, chatting to staff and residents, eating well ( another miracle) and has never once asked to come home. So why the guilt monkey you ask ? The problem is me. Where she stayed for respite before was gorgeous but soo expensive - a new place so almost one to one care as hardly any residents yet, everything new, clean, even a Facebook page to see what residents were doing each day- and yes I know I shouldn't be influenced by nice furniture and it was only ever meant as a treat for mum but, had money not raised it's ugly head, I would have loved her to stay there. The "biggy" is I'd always promised mum ( before Dementia) that she would never go in a care home, an idea she both hated and feared I know she is safer there, has more company and distractions, is eating better but I can't help worrying. I know some of it is letting go and accepting it's best for mum and me but yesterday she whispered to me "They're all mad in here you know" and looking around I could see what she meant - how could I do this to my lovely mum ? Each horrible press story about abuse sets me worrying more - I know mum isn't frightened and has never complained about staff ( some of the residents are another matter but that's bound to happen - no group of people with or without Dementia are always going to get along ) So why can't I seem to relax ?