Nearly 3 months have passed since mum died, and each an every day my thoughts are of my Mum and Dad who passed 5 years ago. I am struggling to cope some days, I just want to cry for no reason I can think of just I miss their physical presence and want to speak to them so much, tell them things about their grand daughter and just talk about what rubbish is on the TV, like we used to do every day I miss that so much I have a huge hole in my life now. What makes it worse is the house clearance and the guilty feelings I've had. The giving away of her treasures and because I know how much they spend on some items it's very difficult. I didn't want to make any hasty decisions so have chosen to rent the house (I actually want my daughter to have it) but that brings such emotions too, will they look after the garden like Dad did? No, I know they can't possibly and why does that thought hurt me so much? All the stuff of over 50 years of living in one house, so many memories makes this the hardest thing I've had to do in my life even though I feel now is the time for 'me' as gone are the demands calls and visits that tied me so much, I'd give anything just to have them both back for one day.