Norman and Michael like you there is no way I can leave my wife to the 'care' of a NH. When ever I think of the one I placed my wife in, I'm enveloped in a deep
sadness. Though it is over four years ago I still remember Bert, Nester, Ester, May and many more. I loved to talk to them even though they repeated the same stories. I looked past the body which was withered by the passage on the sea of time and saw beauty, once a child, a Mom, a Dad. Each and every one of them I will always remember. Iris like Bert had no visitors were special people to me. Sadly Iris passed away just before we left, such a lovley lady who was only visited once in a while by her daughter-in-law. Often I took her hand and walked her to the front door as she repeated her son's phone number every day. I would sit with her by the door waiting for her son, he never came.
About six months later while I was pushing Jean around Homebase I bumped into the daughter-in-law. She looked surprised at seeing how well Jean looked: "You don't remember me?"
"Yes I do, Iris, I'm sorry at her passing. Did her son ever get to see her?"
"He couldn't face the hurt, he wanted to remember her the way she was."
How often I have heard that. I know what I think, but can't hurt anyone by saying
"Why do we always think of ourselves, what of the turmoil of our loved one?"
My wife and I are very fortunate, for there are some unfortunate souls who have no one. I'm aware there are good NHs and most Dads, Mums, G'Dads and Nans would not wish their children to give up their lives to care for them, rather wish then a fun and happy life.
Ever thought that might be why some say, they don't need help and try to drive you away, they love you. Sorry to go on just my thoughts. Padraig
sadness. Though it is over four years ago I still remember Bert, Nester, Ester, May and many more. I loved to talk to them even though they repeated the same stories. I looked past the body which was withered by the passage on the sea of time and saw beauty, once a child, a Mom, a Dad. Each and every one of them I will always remember. Iris like Bert had no visitors were special people to me. Sadly Iris passed away just before we left, such a lovley lady who was only visited once in a while by her daughter-in-law. Often I took her hand and walked her to the front door as she repeated her son's phone number every day. I would sit with her by the door waiting for her son, he never came.
About six months later while I was pushing Jean around Homebase I bumped into the daughter-in-law. She looked surprised at seeing how well Jean looked: "You don't remember me?"
"Yes I do, Iris, I'm sorry at her passing. Did her son ever get to see her?"
"He couldn't face the hurt, he wanted to remember her the way she was."
How often I have heard that. I know what I think, but can't hurt anyone by saying
"Why do we always think of ourselves, what of the turmoil of our loved one?"
My wife and I are very fortunate, for there are some unfortunate souls who have no one. I'm aware there are good NHs and most Dads, Mums, G'Dads and Nans would not wish their children to give up their lives to care for them, rather wish then a fun and happy life.
Ever thought that might be why some say, they don't need help and try to drive you away, they love you. Sorry to go on just my thoughts. Padraig
