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The good news and the bad

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by SueShell, Jan 8, 2015.

  1. SueShell

    SueShell Registered User

    Sep 13, 2012
    #1 SueShell, Jan 8, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2015
    Heard nothing by 11am so decided to ring the SW to find out whether Mum had passed the latest assessment for the CH. SW said you mean the ward hasn't told you, hop I said. Anyway they have accepted her and she is transferring this afternoon. So now I'm panicked into tearing up the hospital by car after filling it up with her TV, clothes, pictures and nick nacks and clean nightie and inco knickers. Get to hospital, she's already benn moved to another ward near discharge suite. Stayed an hour, her meds aren't ready. Suddenly two guys come in with trolley ready to take her. I said goodbye to Mum shot to my car in the car park and drove to CH. When there Manager said no-one had told them Mum was being discharged straight away. I'm dashing around in her room arranging pics and nick backs, put clothes in wardrobe, bought her some roses to make room more homely. Mum arrives just as I finished and the carer made her bed up! Told Manager I have to go back to hospital as meds weren't ready. Manager says I'll ring them, let them send them by car. She couldn't get through on phone. I'm now on way via 2 buses back to hospital because I know that impossible to park car in the hospital car park in the afternoons. Just getting off first bus when mobile rings, hospital to tell me meds coming by taxi. I get off bus and cross rd, get bus back to care home. I left CH at 4pm by car. When I got home rang hospital and they'd only just sent the taxi off with meds. What a b****day shambles!

    It doesn't stop there, Mum complaining of pain when she breaths in bottom of right lung, she already had peripheral pneumonia whilst in hospital. Got this feeling of dread she's going to be in there again pretty soon. I'm absolutely shattered and have a blinding headache. The senior nurse is going to investigate this pain she has. I'm prepared for a phone call at any time. Left Mum in tears. Sue
  2. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    North East England
    Sue, stop now...take some painkillers and have a cup of tea. You've done more than enough for today and the CH sound like they are on the ball. They are there to care for Mum, so give yourself a break for now. Feet up and do nothing else tonight. Love Maureen.x.x.
  3. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    Brixham Devon
    That sounds like an order from Maureen, and one I totally agree with:D

    Your Mum may feel very tired from the journey and will quite possibly sleep. Try to get some much needed rest yourself

    I hope that you have a better day tomorrow


    Lyn T XX
  4. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    North East England
    Sue, no wonder you are shattered. You must be emotionally drained, too. Time to sit down and rest yourself, as Maureen says. At the moment, that is THE most important thing.

  5. janemit

    janemit Registered User

    Sep 7, 2014
    Poor you. Communication is a lovely word but not when it doesn't happen.
    You must feel like you've been running around like a headless chicken, trying to please everyone but most of all trying to make your mum's transfer less traumatic.
    You are obviously a lovely caring daughter. Take care and look after yourself, hopefully your mum will settle in soon
  6. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    Oh Sue what a day you have had, glad she has been accepted, but sorry to hear she is still very ill, hope they can sort her out without a return to hospital, maybe she just needs more antibiotics with luck, hopefully you will be better supported by the staff at the new care home, wishing you the best of luck and keeping fingers crossed for an improvement in Mums health. Try not to worry about Mum being tearful, this is normal, may take a few weeks for her to settle. Above all, start to take care of yourself too xx

  7. Dazmum

    Dazmum Registered User

    Really good advice as always from Maureen, Sue. Hope you are doing just that for the evening xx
  8. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    What a day you have had - now try to relax, knowing that mum is in good hands. Hope the antibiotics work well and mum much better soon. xx
  9. SueShell

    SueShell Registered User

    Sep 13, 2012
    Thank you so much for your comments. The CH is lovely and the most important thing is all the staff are really caring and efficient. I will visit Mum tomorrow morning and then have Saturday off. I won't know what to do with myself after caring for Mum at home or hospital visits every day. I will relish every moment. I'm chilling out with a nice glass of wine tonight which will either cure or make my headache worse haha. Big hugs to all, Sue xxx
  10. DianeW

    DianeW Registered User

    Sep 10, 2013
    Lytham St Annes
    Sue... I felt exactly the same once I got my uncle into a care home... I had run myself ragged for years, and didn't know what to do with my free time. I still dreaded the phone calls, but knew he was cared for.

    Take care, and enjoy the wine x
  11. pippop1

    pippop1 Registered User

    Apr 8, 2013
    My youngest always has a big glass of water before bed if he has had some alcohol. He says this stops any headaches.
  12. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    British Isles
    Oh Sue I'm so pleased your Mum has a place in a home you are happy with. Sorry to hear about your hassled day but reading the good news has really cheered me up so thank you for sharing it.

    Hope your Mum seems better tomorrow - and hope you have a well-deserved rest on Saturday.
  13. garnuft

    garnuft Registered User

    Sep 7, 2012

    Don't seek worries out, they're there if you look.

    "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof"

    Your Mum is there.

    THAT'S good.

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