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The Future

danonwheels

Registered User
Apr 13, 2016
230
Rotherham, South Yorkshire
Need to vent a bit. I'm scared. When I think about the future now all I see is what others go through and post about and everything just seems pointless. I might not even be here in 10 years time so what's the point in carrying on working and my relationship with my partner etc? I'm just going to end up a useless fool. Already there are things I could do last year and before but can't now and this thing is just going to take and take and take until there's nothing left of me but some newspaper cuttings, video clips and photos. Agggghhh!
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,110
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Need to vent a bit. I'm scared. When I think about the future now all I see is what others go through and post about and everything just seems pointless. I might not even be here in 10 years time so what's the point in carrying on working and my relationship with my partner etc? I'm just going to end up a useless fool. Already there are things I could do last year and before but can't now and this thing is just going to take and take and take until there's nothing left of me but some newspaper cuttings, video clips and photos. Agggghhh!
I had similar thoughts when my OH was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and after 18 months the thoughts still reoccur but now have accepted life is what it is and just make the most while you can.
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
10,865
Merseyside
Dan I'm sorry you're scared. I think you have to focus on what you can do as much as possible.
Sorry if that sounds trite but I couldn't not reply.
 

Zana

Registered User
May 12, 2016
185
Need to vent a bit. I'm scared. When I think about the future now all I see is what others go through and post about and everything just seems pointless. I might not even be here in 10 years time so what's the point in carrying on working and my relationship with my partner etc? I'm just going to end up a useless fool. Already there are things I could do last year and before but can't now and this thing is just going to take and take and take until there's nothing left of me but some newspaper cuttings, video clips and photos. Agggghhh!

You might get hit by a bus tomorrow.

Hard? Yes but the fact is from the moment we are born one thing is certain, we are going to die.

Its a fact, the only variables are how long we have and how it ends.

So knowing that its up to us to decide, we can either sit back and feel sorry for ourselves or we can get up, take life by the throat and shake every last drop of enjoyment out of it.

Its entirely up to you but I know what Im doing.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,651
Kent
I can`t blame you for being scared Dan and I`m not surprised. I can only hope you find some way of living with the challenges you face.

The Samaritans is not just for suicide and despair. They also offer a listening service and can provide local face to face support if you think it might help.

Samaritans

Samaritans is a charity that provides confidential, non-judgemental, emotional support, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide. They do this either by phone, email or face-to-face.

You can find your local branch here by typing in your postcode, town or area. Many branches offer facilities for you to come in and talk to a volunteer face-to-face if you find it easier. Check your local branch information to see if it offers this service. It's best to phone ahead to make sure a volunteer is definitely available, and to let them know you are coming.

Phone: 116 123 (UK) 116 123 (ROI) (open 24 hours, seven days a week, all year round)

Email: jo@samaritans.org

Website: www.samaritans.org

Your Local Branch

The Samaritans of Rotherham
22 Percy Street, Rotherham, South Yorkshire, S65 1ED
T: 01709 36 17 17 (local call charges apply)
 
Last edited:

HillyBilly

Registered User
Dec 21, 2015
1,947
Ireland
Dan, I can't even begin to understand how things are for you right now because I don't have that diagnosis. But even so, like you, I'm scared of the future, of old age, of what it's going to bring, esp because I have a parent with Alzheimer's.
Sometimes I think, what's the point? Really? I can't exert myself as much "this year" as i could five years ago. My memory for stuff is, let's just say, not as good as it once was. I can't stay up drinking Wild Goose bourbon until the wee small hours and still get up and go to work. It (life) sucks.
I do know that your posts here on TP are inspirational and I do hope that you will continue to post, no matter what.
You have a loving and supportive partner, you have your work (and your wheels!), you have life and you have us! x
 

Quakeroat1

Registered User
Jan 1, 2017
80
Scarborough
Thinking of you Dan I'm going through a tough time too and I'm starting over to improve my attitude and hopefully getting Art psychotherapy starting soon to help with anxiety
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,563
Ireland
Dan, I'm sure looking to the future must be very frightening. To be honest, there's nothing at all wrong with me, except a few twinges tht tell me I'm not as young as I was, but I know I'm not able to do as much as I could some years ago, without doing damage and I look ahead and get a bit scared about all the "what if's"?

You, and a few others who so bravely post about your lives on here are an inspiration not just for others who have just been diagnosed, but for carers and relatives of those who have just been diagnosed and are so fearful of the future. You are the living illustration of what "Living Well with Dementia" looks like. In fact, I recommended your threads to someone only yesterday.

None of us know the future. To be honest about it, you could spend your time worrying about losing ground to your dementia, and what's ahead in two or three years, and get hit by a bus in six months time! One wheel in front of the other, Dan, you just need to live this day, this week. And know how very much all of us on here appreciate your openness in your posts.
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,506
Near Southampton
Agony and Zana, not quite as easy to do when you have a diagnosis of young-onset dementia as Dan has.
I hope you can find some way of finding some positivity Dan. I can only imagine how forbidding the future looks to you at this time. The advice to squeeze some enjoyment from the present has to be good for anyone though and I really hope you have some happy times ahead too. Remember not everyone with dementia will necessarily experience the things you might read about here. Everyone is different.

We are indebted to those who share their lives with dementia on TP. I have found many such threads to be moving and inspiring as well as informative.

There are bound to be dark days but I think Sylvia's suggestion of contacting the Samaraitans at such times is a helpful one. Very best wishes to you.
 

Nameless

Registered User
Jun 10, 2016
115
I can just tell you Danonwheels that I can't begin to describe how thankful I am that my OH, who also has early onset, talks to me and the children, goes to work and just keeps on continuing in the world in the bravest way possible, despite this disease. I'm going to make sure that I give him an extra big hug today and everyday that follows. Your post made me realize, once more, how deeply I appreciate this. I hope that you tell this to your OH, because she must be feeling pretty much the same way. Hugs to you.
 

Zana

Registered User
May 12, 2016
185
Agony and Zana, not quite as easy to do when you have a diagnosis of young-onset dementia as Dan has.
.

Saffie I have to say it is a matter of deciding how you want to go about it.
Im not sure how old Dan is but my husband was just 56 when we noticed symptoms.

We are not old 50+ people either we are motorbike , concert, rock and roll types who like to live life.

It has meant huge changes but staying positive is the only way to make the most of life.
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,506
Near Southampton
Saffie I have to say it is a matter of deciding how you want to go about it.
Im not sure how old Dan is but my husband was just 56 when we noticed symptoms.

We are not old 50+ people either we are motorbike , concert, rock and roll types who like to live life.

It has meant huge changes but staying positive is the only way to make the most of life.
Of course staying positive is a very good thing in all circumstances. However, I think it has to be much so harder for the person actually suffering from dementia than for the carer. I certainly thought so where my husband was concerned anyway.
To read some of the threads here must be very frightening for those who are at the early stages and I feel for them.
 

Gwendy1

Registered User
Feb 9, 2016
414
Glasgow
I also couldn't not reply, although I can't fully understand your fear(it's not me whose facing it) I empathise immensely. Life can be such a lottery. I was listening to a thing on the radio the other day, people with another illness diagnosed in the 1980's..they'd been told not to bother with pensions etc..and here they were, fit and well today. Please don't lose hope. Please keep looking forward. It's easy for me to say, I know. X


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

creativesarah

Registered User
Apr 22, 2010
9,478
East Hunsbury Northamptonshire
Bless you Danonwheels
I know how hard and how frightening it is.
I guess I have just tried to keep plodding along and doing as much as I can and altering the way I do things
I now cook using a kindle instead of a recipe book as I can watch the video's and stop and start them. My cooking is said to have improved a bit!
I managed a small dinner party for four and managed not to set off the smoke detectors which usually signal that the meal is ready!
I do hope you will find things that you like doing even trying new ones, I have just started writing and I love it. It stops me thinking about myself
Feel free to PM me if you want to
Sarah
 

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