Many will relate to this tale, I feel sure.
On Tuesday J. went out with care manager for an hour. A couple of hours after returning she noticed that her wedding ring was not on her finger. Immediately she thought care manager must have taken it or, second thought, the lady at the National Trust property they visited.
I worked with J. to help her realise that her three other rings were still on her fingers and much more valuable, obviously; that her wedding ring was always under her eternity ring; so she must have taken off her wedding ring at home before she went out. "No way I could have done that", she claimed, "you know I never take off my wedding ring". "True!" I thought, "but you are not the you of old".
It took an hour for the end result of the logic to sink in. Then the maelstrom struck. "It must be in the house; where can I have put it? we must search everywhere until we find it". After checking the obvious places with no success, total dismay; tears, screaming, hand-wringing. Took an hour to restore a semblance of calm. Spent rest of the day answering, "Where is my ring?" with reassurances that it will turn up to be met with, "We must look. Everything is finished."
Wednesday I thought to check the settee she sits on. Nothing there!! She saw me do it!! Another hour to persuade her that there was nowhere sensible for us to look and it would turn up. A day full of "We must look, Everything is finished".
Today Thursday we organised to go shopping. She came to me to show me the rings she had on so I could be sure nothing got lost. There was her wedding ring - above (not below) the eternity ring. I pointed it out to her to be met with denial, "No!! I have lost that ring, this must be another". We placed all her rings back in their boxes. One left over. "Oh!!!!!!! this is my wedding ring. Where has that come from? Who found it? When did I get it back?"
Who knows? J. doesn't; nor do I. Much rejoicing. A wry smile and an internal laugh - you do, don't you? or you would go crazy. Come to think of it, maybe I am. Where on earth was that ring? I had looked everywhere sensible. Did I dream the whole loss? No!! I couldn't have. The wedding ring is ALWAYS under the eternity ring - isn't it?
On Tuesday J. went out with care manager for an hour. A couple of hours after returning she noticed that her wedding ring was not on her finger. Immediately she thought care manager must have taken it or, second thought, the lady at the National Trust property they visited.
I worked with J. to help her realise that her three other rings were still on her fingers and much more valuable, obviously; that her wedding ring was always under her eternity ring; so she must have taken off her wedding ring at home before she went out. "No way I could have done that", she claimed, "you know I never take off my wedding ring". "True!" I thought, "but you are not the you of old".
It took an hour for the end result of the logic to sink in. Then the maelstrom struck. "It must be in the house; where can I have put it? we must search everywhere until we find it". After checking the obvious places with no success, total dismay; tears, screaming, hand-wringing. Took an hour to restore a semblance of calm. Spent rest of the day answering, "Where is my ring?" with reassurances that it will turn up to be met with, "We must look. Everything is finished."
Wednesday I thought to check the settee she sits on. Nothing there!! She saw me do it!! Another hour to persuade her that there was nowhere sensible for us to look and it would turn up. A day full of "We must look, Everything is finished".
Today Thursday we organised to go shopping. She came to me to show me the rings she had on so I could be sure nothing got lost. There was her wedding ring - above (not below) the eternity ring. I pointed it out to her to be met with denial, "No!! I have lost that ring, this must be another". We placed all her rings back in their boxes. One left over. "Oh!!!!!!! this is my wedding ring. Where has that come from? Who found it? When did I get it back?"
Who knows? J. doesn't; nor do I. Much rejoicing. A wry smile and an internal laugh - you do, don't you? or you would go crazy. Come to think of it, maybe I am. Where on earth was that ring? I had looked everywhere sensible. Did I dream the whole loss? No!! I couldn't have. The wedding ring is ALWAYS under the eternity ring - isn't it?