Boy, is it hard to even live without my dear dad who was lost to us 3 months ago today. The first Christmas is looming and it just gives me a pit in my stomach. I hate this illness and its effects on the person. It is so cruel and so drawn out. My dad was the gentlest person you could meet and who deserves to suffer with this illness, well no-one do they. Sorry, just feeling sad and sick and hard done by I suppose. Dad should be here enjoying his grandchildren and his children and his family and he isn't and it hurts hard.