1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Got a real corker for y'all this time. Had to go digging for answers late evening. The marriage certificate I bought as a copy, the stupid fool at the local office put the wrong marriage date on it when he wrote it up. If I ever met him, I'd tell him how his incompetence could have caused much trouble. Coo, he wouldn't half 'get it'.

    I was steaming angry over that one. Thankfully found the original cert to prove the date I first thought of was the correct one. Gonna have to sort that out tomorrow. Call DWP back and tell them what I've found. Thank God I did.

    15 quid for a total screw-up. The guy should be banned from practising. I asked a mate of mine if I could call him out legally. Boy, was I angry.

    Other than that, g'night! I'm tired and need to knock off for a few hours. Thank you all for your support. It means the earth to me, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  2. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Very young, full of happy life funeral director. Such a nice man. We chatted. He's got an incredible sense of humanity about him. We laughed, the legal bits were done in no time, and everything is now settled.

    He can't do enough for his customers, and that makes all the difference in the world. What a smashin' fellah. Made my day.
     
  3. DianeW

    DianeW Registered User

    Sep 10, 2013
    497
    Lytham St Annes
    Glad the funeral director was a nice person Chuggs, it does make all the difference when you have to deal with people.

    Gradually things will get sorted x
     
  4. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    He's a smashing bloke, Diane. Cheered me right up when we started chatting about various things. Just passed the time of day for a bit. I'll hear more between him and the coroner over the next coupla weeks. Apparently, it takes DWP about five weeks to stump up with the funding, so he said he'd just go ahead and we'd worry about bills later. I should get most of it paid off. Bit of a trembly time, but it has to be done. I'm orright.

    We had hail and we had snow. Who chucked that lot over 'ere? :eek::eek::eek:
     
  5. mab

    mab Registered User

    Mar 6, 2010
    196
    Surrey
    Hi Chuggalug,

    I'm relatively new here on TP and don't know your past story, but having just read this thread needed to tell you what an amazing person you are. Your positivity and humour shines through your heartbreaking story. Am in awe of your strength.

    Sending you huge respect. Stay strong and stay healthy. x
     
  6. DianeW

    DianeW Registered User

    Sep 10, 2013
    497
    Lytham St Annes
    It's nice that when you can have a good ole chinwag at the same time as the business in hand.......

    I am glad he was so nice and made the best of such a sad situation.

    Yes it is going to take some time for everything to get sorted with DWP, I am sure the funeral director is used to the way it works.

    We had such a shower of hail last night and again today....thought the windows were going to come in!!!!

    I love love love being inside in the warm, all cosy and watching the bad weather outside....from my cosy sofa x
     
  7. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Wow Mab. Just wow! I can't believe you said that. Thank you so much. There are a few here who know me better'n that, mate :D But I guess, the longer you struggle, the better you turn out? I dunno. What I do know is that I've been carried through the latest event. I knew it would happen. I kept backing away from it, even on the day it happened, but I really have had so much compassion. I'm a bit blown away over that.

    Today, weeelll, it's just rain, and hail, ya know? Bit of wind. Making a right racket out thar! You should see my sky.

    Or maybe, you shouldn't! No. What we need is a definite HEATWAAAAAAAVE :D
     
  8. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    I love being snuggled in too, Diane. But that's when the long nights hit Gal. Not when it's light for ages and you wanna get out! I ain't got no choice next week. Gallivanter's Paradise, NOT, next week! I've got at least three trips to make, and me right leg has conked out overnight.

    My condition began with my spine and right leg. Then the left one joined in, but me right one went into a sort of give it a rest, mode for a couple years.

    Went to bed last night. Got up a few hours later and both legs are screaming arthritis today. Gonna have to get some more support around the place. Oh, poor me!

    The gentleman who visited is a happy-go-lucky soul. Really full of fun. Knows the business inside out. He owns a fleet of shops already, about three, I think, and is opening another near me. Which is extremely interesting.

    Finalising everything might take another fortnight, but it's all in hand and I'm very settled.
     
  9. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    Do hope your poor legs are feeling a bit better today Jen. So glad people are being helpful.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  10. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    Come on sun, SHINE, darn you! Chuggs, you need some hot sunshine as soon as possible. I hope it comes very soon, and helps your poor legs.....thinking of you....
     
  11. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Hear, hear. HEATWAVE. Now. C'mon. Whatchoo WAITIN' for? :D

    With all the hobbling I've got to do next week, I need a warm up. Since it takes way too long for funding to arrive, if it ever does, I've decided I will ask my bank for a loan next week, at least to pay the care costs off. Get the LA to send me a final bill so I can cost it up and apply for the loan.

    Coroner sent 7 interim death certificates and I don't know if they are chargeable. Tried to ring them today to find out and, as with everyone like that, the phone just rang out until the line died. Waited for another promised call that never came, so that's it. My trust has gone again.

    My luck, as always. I've learned not to trust quick promises, Anne. Had so many of them in the past, I know now that it isn't wise to put my trust in anything any more. So, lots of roaming around. I really need to get my buggy finished. Only another 100 quid to spend on it and I can get it registered with DVLA. All this has scuppered that again. Must find a solution as both legs are screaming with arthritis, now.

    And they're going to b*g*er about with housing costs again, now that I need my tenancy changed. I'm fed up. Back in the wringer again. Why does it never end? Oh yeah. I know! Actually, I do know the answer to that. We'll fix it on 8th June, hopefully :)
     
  12. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Thankfully, I'm back to nearer normal, thanks, Es. Next week will 'fix' that if I ain't careful. So many places to visit. One trip which I was going to get help with is no longer happening, so it's all the usual struggles with everything. I'd better find out where the Registrar office is, too. I'm going to need to know in the next few months. I can see this year turning into a right caper, and me a bit more wrinkled and grey-haired before it's over. More empty promises to tackle. To think I was stupid enough to start believing my luck had changed. Phfff!
     
  13. burfordthecat

    burfordthecat Registered User

    Jan 9, 2008
    1,707
    Female
    Leicestershire
    Hi Chugaluggg

    I've not posted on TP for many years now, but still try to keep up with everyone. I was so very sorry to hear about Mr Snugs. At least his is finally at peace away from this awful illness. From reading your thread, I think you did an amazing job finding such a caring home for your husband. The girl did good:)

    I just wanted to reassure you that there is no charge for Coroner's Interim Certificates. In my experience, all companies are willing to register the death on a Coroner's Interim Certificate. It is just a way to get things mover sooner.

    Burf
     
  14. Agzy

    Agzy Registered User

    Nov 16, 2016
    832
    Moreton, Wirral. UK.
    So sorry for you Chuggalug and really wish you with the the coming to terms with his passing and learning to live again. God bless x


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  15. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Coo, it's lovely meeting new 'faces' on 'ere. Welcome burfordthecat. Well, you've done more for me than the phone call I was promised and never happened. Thanks for that! Maybe they ain't on talk anytime like I am :D Kinda sucks that you even bother to ring out so no one is at a shortfall, cash-wise, and all you get is yet more empty promises and silence. Well, we kicked silence in the butt together :)

    And so, to this morning. Me up at half four, realising that it's now daylight at that time. Exciting, or wot! :) Longer days; weather ways should change for the better. Yes. I know. That IS wishful thinkin' :D
     
  16. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Ahhh, I'm just fed right up wiv empty promises, Agzy. I could fill six universes with the ones I've had handed out over the years. But today is cheerful. The sun is out. It is not raining.

    Blardy cold tho'. Could someone get the temp up a bit? Oi! Didja HEAR me? :D
     
  17. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Some good news: Got a letter I was told to expect! Really pleased with that.
     
  18. burfordthecat

    burfordthecat Registered User

    Jan 9, 2008
    1,707
    Female
    Leicestershire
    Me again:)

    If you want to use the "Tell us once" service to notify of a death, the certificate number (top right hand ) on the Interim Death Certificate will not work. All you need to do is to ring through to your local registry office, explain you have an interim certificate and could they provide you with the correct certificate number for the "Tell us once" service.

    I only learned this piece of information whilst dealing with the estate of my late brother in law last year. It would appear that Norfolk Coroner's office fail to tell this to people:( I found this out too late to help in my situation but if it saves someone else extra work then I more than happy to share the information.

    Please feel free to PM me if there are any other questions which I may be able to help you with.

    Burf
     
  19. Margaret59

    Margaret59 Registered User

    Apr 4, 2017
    132
    Yorkshire
    Hi Chuggalug,
    I used the tell us once service too. It really is so much easier as you are given a unique reference number which links to your registration of your loved ones passing.
    You can look at all the services/departments you need to inform, select them from the list and that's it done.
    For my father it was council tax, water rates, pensions, tax office to name a few.
    Love and hugs,
    Margaret x
     
  20. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Oh, bless ya burfordthecat. Honestly, I hadn't been told that, but I won't need it. There are now no bank accounts to clear up. Did that a couple of months ago when our original bank said they were saying tata to their current account customers. I managed, because we were all on first name terms in there with each other, and they well knew our situation; to get everything transferred to my new account, and close both of the old ones, the shared one included. They could do that with my signature as his Appointee, as they quite realised he could no longer sign anything.

    The bills are now all in my name I changed those over whilst he still lived here. There was a very old, unused bank account which I was able to close for him. There are no cars, no Will; so all that's left now is to collect his clothes and Bible from the home next week. Then to pay everything else off and that's that. Strange, looking back at how things turned out all along. I feel for those who have all the extras to do after a death, but all of that was mostly done either whilst he was still here, or finished after he went into full time care. I hope to meet his brother again sometimes later in the year. Then in the Autumn, I can have a Wake with whoever might want to attend. We'll have a meal out, or something. Do whatever everyone wants, and hope I can still use me crutches :D I think that ship is about to sail, tho' :( I keep getting reminded that me bones no longer work properly :(
     

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