The fateful day...

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
0
Norfolk
Oh Chuggs, I'm sorry to hear this news.

I remember the worrying time you were experiencing (two years ago?). I used to follow your posts and, although I do not get on line so often now due to hubby's advanced dementia, I have wondered how you have been coping. I'm glad to know how well Mr Chuggs, and you, have been looked after by those wonderful people who lovingly care.

Warmest thoughts and prayers for you at this time

Lilac x

You're still going through the rough of the disease, Lilac Blossom. I almost forget what it was like after the last two years, but I know I really won't. It changes you from the inside, doesn't it. Thank God, that worry is no longer there, but there'll be new challenges. The people I'll have to speak with over the next few days will want their bills paid. I wonder how long it takes before I can do that and get everyone sorted? That'll be the worst time, I think, out of everything.

I have to talk with the funeral home people tomorrow, as apparently, they've got ideas to fill me up with. I've hopefully beaten them to that and will be laying down the law somewhat. Get that out my hair first, then sort out his pension. Oh, joy!

It'll all get done, somehow.

I'm still waiting to hear from his brother in Australia.
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
0
Norfolk
So, so, sorry Jen, to hear your Snugs has passed, a very sad time. A blessing for him. Heartbreak for you. It must be very comforting for you, though, to know, how well he was thought of and cared for at the home. This is an awful disease, one can only hope there will one day be, if not a cure, better medication to keep them well, and, with us longer. As has been said, no matter how much we think we will be prepared for the eventual outcome, I presume we will never be so. A day I dread.
My deepest heartfelt sympathy and condolences to you. I wish you all the strength you will need for the coming weeks and months. All on TP will be encircling you with virtual hugs and support. God Bless you both. Take care. M xxx

Goodness Mal. Yes. That last statement is well and truly true. I've seen it here so many times for others who have walked this path. Like I (think!) I said earlier - I've survived everything else. I should be able to survive this, too.

Maybe it'll start catching up as I have to hassle with all the creditors. Shucks. I've just thought of someone else I'll have to phone tomorrow. I'd better have an early night if I can. Tomorrow will probs be a bit of a long one.

I wish I could be there to hug everyone at the home. They're all so loving, Mal.

I know that dread. It was a quiet dread for me. I waited for it, and yet, I didn't. I kept pushing it away as well. Talk about head of an ostrich. That was me, even today before the call came. I phoned them first to see how he was. The guy who picked up the phone was extremely hesitant. I think I knew then, but I was still backing away from it.

One day at a time is all I can say. One day at a time, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Caz60

Registered User
Jul 24, 2014
253
0
Lancashire
Sending condolences to you keep strong and be proud of what life has thrown at you and you have survived, take care.xx
 

chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
0
near Folkestone
Just found your thread Jen. So sorry I was not on TP to wish you my heartfelt sympathy . You and I started on TP together roughly at the same time . I don't really know what to say other then my shoulder is here should you need one. Lots of love xxxxxxx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
0
Norfolk
Just found your thread Jen. So sorry I was not on TP to wish you my heartfelt sympathy . You and I started on TP together roughly at the same time . I don't really know what to say other then my shoulder is here should you need one. Lots of love xxxxxxx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

It's the hardest, innit Heike. I saw what you said on your own thread. I wanted to move this offa there. I do hope your John is feeling better. Thanks so much for popping on, Heike. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Mal2

Registered User
Oct 14, 2014
2,968
0
Enfield
Goodness Mal. Yes. That last statement is well and truly true. I've seen it here so many times for others who have walked this path. Like I (think!) I said earlier - I've survived everything else. I should be able to survive this, too.

Maybe it'll start catching up as I have to hassle with all the creditors. Shucks. I've just thought of someone else I'll have to phone tomorrow. I'd better have an early night if I can. Tomorrow will probs be a bit of a long one.

I wish I could be there to hug everyone at the home. They're all so loving, Mal.

I know that dread. It was a quiet dread for me. I waited for it, and yet, I didn't. I kept pushing it away as well. Talk about head of an ostrich. That was me, even today before the call came. I phoned them first to see how he was. The guy who picked up the phone was extremely hesitant. I think I knew then, but I was still backing away from it.

One day at a time is all I can say. One day at a time, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


That's only natural for you. Jen. Will you go to see them at the home? I expect some would want to pay their respects and attend the funeral, but, may not like to assume it's ok with you.

Just deal with the necessary items for the next week or so. Anything else can wait a couple of weeks. I did a list, when my brother passed, last April. Can't believe it is a year tomorrow. I dealt with the important things first, funeral arrangements, insurance etc. I left things like his rent, rates, bills, etc, until after the funeral, everyone was quite understanding. Hope you can get some rest tonight. Hugs M xxx :)
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,723
0
Suffolk
Hi Chuggs, iPad been on charge, so I've only just caught up! So sorry for you.
You will survive, you're a survivor, you won't crumble. I won't say you won't have your moments, I do, even now, but you will come through it all.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
0
Norfolk
That's only natural for you. Jen. Will you go to see them at the home? I expect some would want to pay their respects and attend the funeral, but, may not like to assume it's ok with you.

Just deal with the necessary items for the next week or so. Anything else can wait a couple of weeks. I did a list, when my brother passed, last April. Can't believe it is a year tomorrow. I dealt with the important things first, funeral arrangements, insurance etc. I left things like his rent, rates, bills, etc, until after the funeral, everyone was quite understanding. Hope you can get some rest tonight. Hugs M xxx :)

I'll have to go at some point as I have to collect his clothes from the home, Mal. Necessary items. Goodness! Yup. Most of it hopefully will be done tomorrow. It'll all be on the phone. I can't get out until 2nd May when I'm next paid. Then I'll have whatever needs doing that week. I thought I had this month planned, but hey-ho! That got scrapped.

Again!

Onwards and upwards, as they say.

What a beautiful evening. Sun must have slipped down over the horizon, but it's blue-sky-beautiful until night arrives.

Cor! It's 20:14, and still really light :)
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
0
Norfolk
Hi Chuggs, iPad been on charge, so I've only just caught up! So sorry for you.
You will survive, you're a survivor, you won't crumble. I won't say you won't have your moments, I do, even now, but you will come through it all.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Bless your heart, Spamar. That's so encouraging. I have had wobbly times today, off and on. It's strange when it happens. But I'm really all right. Thanks so much, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Jinx

Registered User
Mar 13, 2014
2,333
0
Pontypool
Oh Chuggs, I'm so sorry that I've only just caught up with your sad news and found your new thread.

You don't have to rush into doing everything at once, in fact you can't do anything until the death has been registered and you have the certificate. Also there is a service offered by the registrar where all the government bodies, health etc. are advised so you don't have to do any of that. Please, please just take things slowly and pace yourself. We're all here for you and Mr Chuggs is up there being made welcome by the boys who've gone before. xxxx
 

esmeralda

Registered User
Nov 27, 2014
3,083
0
Devon
Oh, dearest Jen, I am so sorry. That passing over always comes as a shock however much we expect it, and sometimes people linger much longer than we think they will.

Peace now for your dear Mr Chuggs, but I guess all the good memories come to haunt you, and although we may have lost those things a long time ago you never really come to terms with the fact they've gone for ever until that person is actually not here anymore. So many practical things to do, and the griefwork as well. Be gentle with yourself, everything will get done in good time. I think the Register Office is very helpful with all the people you have to sort things out with.

Thinking of you Sweetie, and sending lots of love and a huge hug.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
0
Cotswolds
Just dropping in to see how you are Chuggs, and sending a hugXX. Hope you'll encounter lovely kind and understanding people with everything you're doing....
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
0
Norfolk
Oh Chuggs, I'm so sorry that I've only just caught up with your sad news and found your new thread.

You don't have to rush into doing everything at once, in fact you can't do anything until the death has been registered and you have the certificate. Also there is a service offered by the registrar where all the government bodies, health etc. are advised so you don't have to do any of that. Please, please just take things slowly and pace yourself. We're all here for you and Mr Chuggs is up there being made welcome by the boys who've gone before. xxxx

Hiya Jinx :)

I beatcha to it Gal! I've been in touch with various people. I know about Tell Us Once. It's all been virtually taken out of my hands. I'm expecting a phone call from the funeral director sometime today.

I've had a couple of shocks. Nice shocks! But they're going to be supremely helpful. No funeral date set yet, but that'll come after I speak with the gentleman who's ringing me today.

It's a bit of a rollercoaster ride, quite honestly, but so far, not as bad as I imagined. Once the dust has settled and all debts are paid, then I can reflect a bit more.

I will have to register his death, and I have to make a copy of another document so we can sort the funeral payment. Forms to fill in and all that jazz. It'll only be maybe another fortnight to get it all sorted.

I'm a bit light-headed with shock right now, but at least I've got the ball rolling. I think the funeral will be hard. I'll probs keep it together until then. The song title Isn't Life Strange comes to mind, right now.

But that's enough of me. I don't 'do' sad for too long. Really appreciate your concern, Jinx. That's special.

I hope you're in better nick? You working today?
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
0
Norfolk
Oh, dearest Jen, I am so sorry. That passing over always comes as a shock however much we expect it, and sometimes people linger much longer than we think they will.

Peace now for your dear Mr Chuggs, but I guess all the good memories come to haunt you, and although we may have lost those things a long time ago you never really come to terms with the fact they've gone for ever until that person is actually not here anymore. So many practical things to do, and the griefwork as well. Be gentle with yourself, everything will get done in good time. I think the Register Office is very helpful with all the people you have to sort things out with.

Thinking of you Sweetie, and sending lots of love and a huge hug.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I've already done most of the work over the phone, Es. I got up, made a cuppa and got stuck in. I'm off to visit the home next week. Got to get a copy of the marriage cert to send off to DWP. Register his death. All those things I can do once I've got some lolly! That'll happen next Tuesday. I can't get out until then. Then I pick up his things from the home. I don't feel rushed at the moment. I can't explain feelings right now. Not sad, but not really anything except a bit wide-eyed over what I was told on the phone.

The people at the Pension Service know their stuff. She was insistent I get all the help I'm supposed to be entitled to, so I shouldn't need a loan after all. I'll have to see how things progress.

After the DWP call, I do feel a bit light-headed with shock! I'll settle again. Maybe a coffee will sort me out, lol! I wish I could walk. I'd go through our park for a while...
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
0
Norfolk
Thank you all who have sent such loving messages. Yes, Anne, I've already been very well treated. I think it'll mostly be a quiet day. Take things at my own pace.

Bit grey outside. Has anyone got sunshine?
 

Jinx

Registered User
Mar 13, 2014
2,333
0
Pontypool
I found everything was completely surreal for the first few weeks, although I was doing all the necessary things it was almost like It was happening in a parallel universe. I'm sure that makes no sense at all. i'm glad the DWP are being helpful that will be one weight off your mind at least. Thinking about you and just wishing Norfolk wasn't so far away. xxxx
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,723
0
Suffolk
Chuggs, when you go to register the death, take things like NI numbers, his passport, and stuff like that. They will do it all for you and even get your pension, if applicable, changed. I was mighty impressed!