The fateful day...

[Chuggalug]

So sorry to read this Chuggs. My condolences for the passing of Mr Snugs, sending you supportive hugs and wishes not just for strength for the difficult days and weeks ahead but also with the hope that things won't be as difficult as you anticipate.

Take good care of yourself xx

Sent from my SM-T310 using Talking Point mobile app

You've all called him Mr' Chugs, and I love you all to bits for that. I must remember that one, because it makes things very personal.

Oh, I know what I must do, Celia. It's the only way to keep the wolf from the door. Otherwise I'll be nagged to hysteria by everyone who wants paying. If I can get a loan and pay them off quickly, then I only have the loan to pay off afterwards.

Bleh, and all that! It's all part of the marriage vows we make, Celia. I'm thankful I had someone to be responsible for. It beats never having had anyone.

I miss him. Don't worry sweetheart. I'm all right. I honestly thought I was too cold to cry. Thank God, I'm not. I'm glad of the tears when they happen. I have been that cold in the past, and it ain't nice being that way.

 

[Chuggalug]

Oh Chuggs, I'm so sorry. All the battling you did for him to get that care, I'm glad he was so very well cared for. It does make such a difference. But now, the inevitable. My condolences to you, and wishing you much strength and endurance for the coming weeks. xx

And how are you holding up, LadyA?

You ain't joking mate. I remember those first dark years with dread, as I know, all too many more others have been, and are going through, exactly the same as I did.

If not for those care staff, I would have been having this conversation with you guys two years ago.

Get this week out of my way, and then, I can make proper plans! That old saying, it'll all come out in the wash is still true. I'm only doing the same now as so many of you lovely people have already done.

I'll be in and out of here for the rest of today, whilst cooking and watching some silly films Life goes on, my lovelies. Thank you all again so much for your loving support, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Izzy]

Oh Chuggs, I'm so sorry to read this sad news. No matter how much we think we are prepared for it I don't think we ever really are. You will be on a rollercoaster for a while I think. I found the first few days a bit surreal. I knew it had happened but I didn't really take it in, if you know what I mean. The business will certainly keep your mind occupied for a while.

Thinking of you and wishing you much strength. I'm glad that Mr Snugs is now at peace and done with this awful illness.

I hope we still see you around the forum. i know many of us have gained much needed support and understanding following the loss and I know you will too. There is another thread on the forum which you might like to look at somewhere down the line. Just when you feel ready for it -

https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?93932-Widows-(and-widowers)-weekly-update

 

[cragmaid]

My cry at this time ....and sadly I have had a few "times".... is "Don't be nice to me. I can manage everything, as long as you are not nice to me"

I can try not to be nice to you, but it's difficult. I can say, " You've lived up to your vows" " You've done your best" "No wife could do more" and "Be Kind to yourself"......yep I can say all of this and more, but deep down I know it is hurting you like he*l and the tears are going to fall regardless.

So I'm thinking of you and wishing I could ease your pain...... and holding the biggest box of tissues just in case.
Condolences Chugalug.x.x.

 

[Chuggalug]

Oh Chuggs, I'm so sorry to read this sad news. No matter how much we think we are prepared for it I don't think we ever really are. You will be on a rollercoaster for a while I think. I found the first few days a bit surreal. I knew it had happened but I didn't really take it in, if you know what I mean. The business will certainly keep your mind occupied for a while.

Thinking of you and wishing you much strength. I'm glad that Mr Snugs is now at peace and done with this awful illness.

I hope we still see you around the forum. i know many of us have gained much needed support and understanding following the loss and I know you will too. There is another thread on the forum which you might like to look at somewhere down the line, but probably not in the next while, just when you feel ready for it -

https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?93932-Widows-(and-widowers)-weekly-update

Yeah, know about that one Izzy. Saw it again earlier today. Thanks so much for that.

I've known this was coming. I think I've had the surreal/head in sand bit over the last week. This time last week, it was all about him having yet another fall and going into hospital for them to keep an eye on him. Yesterday, things had progressed to them thinking he had a chest infection. The hospital refused to take him, so the district nurses and his doctor saw to his care. I was kept up to date with it all. Truth is, he'd pushed it too far because of the fall he had last week, and it knocked the rest of the stuffing out of him.

I'm glad to be at this point quite honestly, Izzy. To go there and feel out of place because he no longer knew me, and being so vacant, too, was the worst of this I've ever seen. Dementia takes so many bad moves. That was the worst. He did reach out and take my hand the last two times I was there. I just wanted to pick him up and hold him. The thinness of him though. He literally was skin and bone. I think once I've passed through tonight, and got into tomorrow, I'll be reasonably all right. Strange how it hits you unawares, ain't it.

We will all survive it somehow, Izzy. Much love to you, my dear, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[LynneMcV]

I'm so sorry for your news but also happy to know that Mr Snugs received such wonderful care and that you can find comfort from that too.

Thinking of you at such a difficult time. When all the planning and arranging is done may you find the peace and calm you need to carry you forward through the challenging times ahead.

 

[Chuggalug]

My cry at this time ....and sadly I have had a few "times".... is "Don't be nice to me. I can manage everything, as long as you are not nice to me"

I can try not to be nice to you, but it's difficult. I can say, " You've lived up to your vows" " You've done your best" "No wife could do more" and "Be Kind to yourself"......yep I can say all of this and more, but deep down I know it is hurting you like he*l and the tears are going to fall regardless.

So I'm thinking of you and wishing I could ease your pain...... and holding the biggest box of tissues just in case.
Condolences Chugalug.x.x.

Thank you so much for your sweet, sweet message, Cragmaid.

Being nice? I'd wallow in it Cragmaid! I'm so used to expecting disaster of one sort or another, and I know I'll get a few fistfuls of that over the coming weeks, to have a bit of compassion? I'd wallow in it! (My bad)!

I'm all right, sweetheart. I have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and I can come here and yap with all of you, too. I just hope I won't be boring. You can get too insular, I know. Self indulgent self pity will not do. I am alive, Cragmaid. I have NEVER suffered what my Snugs suffered. I can sit up, shuffle-walk; choose what to eat and how to cook it; read a book and watch a film and understand it. I can look out the window and see the sun or watch the rain falling and enjoy it. I can be fully integrated in and with everything I do and with everyone I communicate with. Oh yes. I have everything in life to be thankful for. When the tears come, I'm thankful because that makes us human. If we never cry and keep making excuses for it, we eventually get cold.

I've been that cold and it lasted for many, many years. To lose that attitude took another few years, Cragmaid. I never want to experience that coldness again. Not ever.

Ahhh, but life is a strange beastie sometimes!

 

[cragmaid]

You will never be alone.... The Lord is with you..x.x.

 

[Lilac Blossom]

Oh Chuggs, I'm sorry to hear this news.

I remember the worrying time you were experiencing (two years ago?). I used to follow your posts and, although I do not get on line so often now due to hubby's advanced dementia, I have wondered how you have been coping. I'm glad to know how well Mr Chuggs, and you, have been looked after by those wonderful people who lovingly care.

Warmest thoughts and prayers for you at this time

Lilac x

 

[cuppatea]

Thank you so much for your sweet, sweet message, Cragmaid.

Being nice? I'd wallow in it Cragmaid! I'm so used to expecting disaster of one sort or another, and I know I'll get a few fistfuls of that over the coming weeks, to have a bit of compassion? I'd wallow in it! (My bad)!

I'm all right, sweetheart. I have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and I can come here and yap with all of you, too. I just hope I won't be boring. You can get too insular, I know. Self indulgent self pity will not do. I am alive, Cragmaid. I have NEVER suffered what my Snugs suffered. I can sit up, shuffle-walk; choose what to eat and how to cook it; read a book and watch a film and understand it. I can look out the window and see the sun or watch the rain falling and enjoy it. I can be fully integrated in and with everything I do and with everyone I communicate with. Oh yes. I have everything in life to be thankful for. When the tears come, I'm thankful because that makes us human. If we never cry and keep making excuses for it, we eventually get cold.

I've been that cold and it lasted for many, many years. To lose that attitude took another few years, Cragmaid. I never want to experience that coldness again. Not ever.

Ahhh, but life is a strange beastie sometimes!

Lovely message there Chugs! Just to add prayers and blessings to you and your dear man x

Sent from my SM-T713 using Talking Point mobile app

 

[Chuggalug]

Lovely message there Chugs! Just to add prayers and blessings to you and your dear man x

Sent from my SM-T713 using Talking Point mobile app

Awww, now I'm a bit wobbly! Thank you my dear. I so appreciate that, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[notsogooddtr]

Please accept my condolences.As you say the outcome is inevitable but still manages to take us by surprise.I wish you well for the days,weeks and months ahead

 

[Chuggalug]

Please accept my condolences.As you say the outcome is inevitable but still manages to take us by surprise.I wish you well for the days,weeks and months ahead

Thank you so very much.

 

[jugglingmum]

So sorry to hear this Chuggs, although Mr Snuggs is at peace at last.

Nice that he reached out to you the last couple of times.

Thinking of you and wishing you strength to get through the next few days, weeks, months xxx

 

[Sue J]

So sorry to read your news Chuggs It was your perseverance, love and commitment that got your hubby the good care that he received. Love and prayersxxx

 

[Lilac Blossom]

Oh Chuggs, I'm sorry to hear this news.

I remember the worrying time you were experiencing (two years ago?). I used to follow your posts and, although I do not get on line so often now due to hubby's advanced dementia, I have wondered how you have been coping. I'm glad to know how well Mr Chuggs, and you, have been looked after by those wonderful people who lovingly care.

Warmest thoughts and prayers for you at this time

Lilac x

 

[stanleypj]

So sorry to read this sad news. My thoughts are with you.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Been thinking of you all day. So very sorry to see this news; wonderful to see the avalanche of loving kindness it's evoked...

It's apt, somehow, that it came the day of the London Marathon, where we see so much that's good and kind. Someone said "Just keep on keeping on" and that's something you'll manage well through the coming days....and here there'll be shoulders for crying, and hands to hold.

You'll be in my thoughts.......xx xx

 

[Chuggalug]

Been thinking of you all day. So very sorry to see this news; wonderful to see the avalanche of loving kindness it's evoked...

It's apt, somehow, that it came the day of the London Marathon, where we see so much that's good and kind. Someone said "Just keep on keeping on" and that's something you'll manage well through the coming days....and here there'll be shoulders for crying, and hands to hold.

You'll be in my thoughts.......xx xx

I hope I haven't hurt you, Anne, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yeah. Didja see that man who was helped by the other two? They got him to the finish line. I cried when I saw that! Actually, towards the end, there were a few like that. What an amazing day I'd love to go and see the marathon one day

 

[Mal2]

So, so, sorry Jen, to hear your Snugs has passed, a very sad time. A blessing for him. Heartbreak for you. It must be very comforting for you, though, to know, how well he was thought of and cared for at the home. This is an awful disease, one can only hope there will one day be, if not a cure, better medication to keep them well, and, with us longer. As has been said, no matter how much we think we will be prepared for the eventual outcome, I presume we will never be so. A day I dread.
My deepest heartfelt sympathy and condolences to you. I wish you all the strength you will need for the coming weeks and months. All on TP will be encircling you with virtual hugs and support. God Bless you both. Take care. M xxx