This is the first time in my life that I have posted anything on line or joined a forum. I am writing this as I feel no one is listening to me. I have lived with my father all his life and apart from my husband there is only two of us. We are very close. Following the breakdown of home care arrangements when I discovered my father's carer had stolen £11,000 from us and also jewellery, my father had a stoke. Whilst I know anything could have triggered this I blame the carer completely. My father really cared for this man and was devastated when he no longer came. My father has dementia and I think it was all too much. Since february I have had challenged some fundamental beliefs of mine by doctors asking about DNR to Dols orders. I do not want to share responsibility with some strangers at a care home who have only known him for a few months and have to ask them if I can take my dad out. My dad is 82 years of age, bed bound, cant turn without assistance, has no capacity and they insist on taking away his dignity further by labelling him under a Dol's order. I can understand that if a person had dementia and was mobile the need for this but this is ridiculous. When my father dies, the second call will be to me and the first to the Police. A Police officer will sit with the body until the funeral director comes and he will then be taken not to a funeral directors of my choice but what the coroner says. I understand the need to protect people but common sense should prevail in these circumstances. As a result of the care home covering their backs I have fallen out with the care home and have said goodbye to my dad and not gone back. This is killing me and no doubt in time I will return. I feel this law is wrong it is a sledge hammer to crack a nut! I have complained about the Social Worker and no one is listening to me, just like no one is listening to me about the carer. The care home still allow him to work and have chosen profit before protection of the elderly. They should have suspended him on full pay whilst the Police were investigating. I am still waiting to hear if anyone will listen to me. I feel very depressed about the whole situation. I have told my husband if I ever get like this what I want him to do. I always thought life was for living no matter what but seeing my dad in nappies, not being able to do anything is a heartbreaking eye opener. I feel that the Dols legislation needs to be softened. Change the name, deprivation of liberty, you think of prisons, secure wards. I reluctantly agreed to Dad going into the home as my husband and I couldnt manage to look after him and all his needs. It is a CARE HOME not a glorified prison I agreed to send my father to. This whole situation is a nightmare.