You'd think that after caring for your wife for the past 14 years that you would be immune to adverse changes.
Not so.
I made my daily visit to Jan at her care home today.
Twenty minutes into the visit [no, I'm not thick, it just takes a lot of concentration making these visits] I realised that all Jan had done was pull herself on her hands and knees, then almost immediately fall either to left or right, in the 'soft' room where I spend most of my visits with her.
I realised that the most verbal contact she had provided sounded like "gadda gadda gadda".
I knew she couldn't see me.
I couldn't elicit any reply to the words I said to her.
I recalled that this has been the case for the past four days or so - perhaps she has gone down one more step.
It stretches your spirit a lot.
I was a bit later than usual visiting Jan today and 45 minutes into my visit the 1-to-1 carer came to ask if he could move Jan to her chair so she could be taken to the dining room for her food.
I said yes, and also that I would go because she didn't seem to be gaining anything from my being there [and it was very upsetting for me, though that is such a minor thing in comparison]
As I left, Jan was being fed her evening meal. I touched her head and said "I'm going shopping now. See you tomorrow".
Sightlessly she said "Oh Golly, no!" - the first recognisable thing she had said all during the visit.
One wonders just how many steps downward there can be.
We all have bad days!
Not so.
I made my daily visit to Jan at her care home today.
Twenty minutes into the visit [no, I'm not thick, it just takes a lot of concentration making these visits] I realised that all Jan had done was pull herself on her hands and knees, then almost immediately fall either to left or right, in the 'soft' room where I spend most of my visits with her.
I realised that the most verbal contact she had provided sounded like "gadda gadda gadda".
I knew she couldn't see me.
I couldn't elicit any reply to the words I said to her.
I recalled that this has been the case for the past four days or so - perhaps she has gone down one more step.
It stretches your spirit a lot.
I was a bit later than usual visiting Jan today and 45 minutes into my visit the 1-to-1 carer came to ask if he could move Jan to her chair so she could be taken to the dining room for her food.
I said yes, and also that I would go because she didn't seem to be gaining anything from my being there [and it was very upsetting for me, though that is such a minor thing in comparison]
As I left, Jan was being fed her evening meal. I touched her head and said "I'm going shopping now. See you tomorrow".
Sightlessly she said "Oh Golly, no!" - the first recognisable thing she had said all during the visit.
One wonders just how many steps downward there can be.
We all have bad days!