Hi there everyone.
I am one of 4 brothers (all in our 50's) who are caring for our 89 year old mother who has been diagnosed with Alzheimers and Vascular dementia. Over the last month things have been getting progressively worse and we are now seriously considering the option of a care home.
First a little background. My mother was involved in nursing all her working life and money was always tight so she was careful with it. Another point worthy of note was that she read the Daily Mail.
The information above has now become entwined in obsessive behaviour which exhibits as follows.
We would receive calls from her saying her tablets weren't right. When went round to check she would have them all out of the blister packs all over the kitchen table. I put this down to the nurse in her telling her medication needs to be checked and rechecked and must be correct without fail.
This was easy to sort with an automatic pill dispenser which we top up every week.
Money has now become the big issue. One of my brothers has Power of Attorney and we have removed her bank card and cheque book so we know everything is safe. However, she is convinced she has given her carer her account details and the carer is taking money from her account. No matter how hard we try to convince her, she's having none of it. Even if we get somewhere with that she just switches to saying the carer has taken all of our money instead.
There seems no way to shift this obsession. It causes her to panic, she is not sleeping and tearfully calls us at any time of the day or night demanding that we call the bank.
We are reasonably lucky because 2 of my brothers live within 10 minutes of her, I am 30 minutes away and our other brother is an hour away but this does put undue pressure on the two that live closest who end up going to attempt to calm her down.
Her obsession with money has affected her health to the extent that we are now concerned for her well-being at home.
And so to my questions:
Do these kind of obsessions tail off at all and what is the best way to deal with them.
Every time we mention care homes she panics and says the only way she will leave her home is in a box. Is this normal and what's the best way to convince her that being in the house alone 24 hours a day is not helping the situation.
Regards,
James
I am one of 4 brothers (all in our 50's) who are caring for our 89 year old mother who has been diagnosed with Alzheimers and Vascular dementia. Over the last month things have been getting progressively worse and we are now seriously considering the option of a care home.
First a little background. My mother was involved in nursing all her working life and money was always tight so she was careful with it. Another point worthy of note was that she read the Daily Mail.
The information above has now become entwined in obsessive behaviour which exhibits as follows.
We would receive calls from her saying her tablets weren't right. When went round to check she would have them all out of the blister packs all over the kitchen table. I put this down to the nurse in her telling her medication needs to be checked and rechecked and must be correct without fail.
This was easy to sort with an automatic pill dispenser which we top up every week.
Money has now become the big issue. One of my brothers has Power of Attorney and we have removed her bank card and cheque book so we know everything is safe. However, she is convinced she has given her carer her account details and the carer is taking money from her account. No matter how hard we try to convince her, she's having none of it. Even if we get somewhere with that she just switches to saying the carer has taken all of our money instead.
There seems no way to shift this obsession. It causes her to panic, she is not sleeping and tearfully calls us at any time of the day or night demanding that we call the bank.
We are reasonably lucky because 2 of my brothers live within 10 minutes of her, I am 30 minutes away and our other brother is an hour away but this does put undue pressure on the two that live closest who end up going to attempt to calm her down.
Her obsession with money has affected her health to the extent that we are now concerned for her well-being at home.
And so to my questions:
Do these kind of obsessions tail off at all and what is the best way to deal with them.
Every time we mention care homes she panics and says the only way she will leave her home is in a box. Is this normal and what's the best way to convince her that being in the house alone 24 hours a day is not helping the situation.
Regards,
James
Last edited: