1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    North Derbyshire
    Folks, mum came to us for Christmas lunch, I agonised over it for weeks, she only went into the Care Home in August and was confused if I took her out. I was concerned that if I took her to our home for Christmas Lunch she would get confused and not want to go back or not know where she was going back to.

    Well it has all worked a dream. I told her the day before that she would be coming to us, and that her grand-daughters would pick her up at 12 noon. I told the Care Home Staff as well. Hmm. Daughters arrived to find her in her nightie and dressing gown declaring it was time for bed. I am a bit cross that the Care Home Staff didn't get her ready to be going out, but my daughters did that, and brought her to us.

    We had a lovely afternoon. Mum had a sherry (her favourite tipple) on arrival, and lunch was served soon after, and she ate well. We then had a cup of tea, which she enjoyed, and several times she said "isn't it nice to be with my family at Christmas" and I was so pleased that I had included her. That said, she was asleep for half the time, but who cares?

    She then got worked up about what time she should get back to the Home, but to me I was reassured that she realised she was going back at all cos it had been a big concern of mine that she might not want to go back at all.

    But it all worked well, the girls took her back, she told everyone about the lovely presents she had had, and it all went well.

    So I am now thinking it is "safe" to invite her to our house now and again (we are only 7 miles away) for a cup of tea and a bun, which I have been scared to do before. She has been in the Care home for 4 months, and I wanted to get her used to it before I brought her to familiar places, but I now think I can do that. All in all, a very successful day, I am so pleased.

    Any of you who are nervous about taking your relatives out of their usual environment, I hope this story will help.

    Love to everyone who reads this. Hope you have enjoyed Christmas Day as I have.

  2. CraigC

    CraigC Registered User

    Mar 21, 2003
    Hi Margaret,

    What a lovely inspiring message to read on Christmas day. I'm so glad it worked for you all and that you had great day. It is never easy but it is encouraging to read experiences like yours today.

    I'm really looking forward to seeing dad tomorrow and hope to at least get him out for a walk if the weather is kind.

    thanks for posting and so glad it worked well.
    Merry Christmas
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Well done Margaret.

    I know from your previous posts how much you`ve agonized about bringing your mother home for Christmas. Well you did it and it worked. What better news could you have had.

    Love xx
  4. lizzie2596

    lizzie2596 Registered User

    Jul 3, 2007
    Hi Margaret

    I'm so pleased that things worked out so well for you. I have had the same dilemma about having my Mum over for part of today. In the end I chickened out as I was on my own and driving, cooking and caring by myself was just too scary a prospect. I went and had lunch with Mum at the Care home instead. She was on good form and we rang my brothers whilst I was there.

    I have slight regrets about taking the easy way out today but I can't complain about the lovely time that I spent with Mum earlier. My eldest brother, his wife and daughter are coming over for a few days at New Year and I am hoping to bring Mum over then when there are more people in the house. We'll see.

    Merry Christmas - what's left of it.

    Liz x
  5. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    Nr Mold
    How wonderful Margaret, a lovely lovely day to remember. Thank you for sharing it with us.

    Love Linda x
  6. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Hello Margaret,
    I am so please that everything went well for your Christmas with your Mother.
    Very best wishes.
  7. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    North Derbyshire
    Dear Lizzie,

    You certainly did the right thing in your circumstances. For the first "go" I couldn't have done it without my husband helping out to make sure the dinner wasn't delayed, and my two adult daughters doing the collecting, it would all have been too scary without that support.

    Maybe, as you say, New Year, you can give it a whirl. I just felt that I needed to be mega organised (which I am never), for the sake of mum, and I managed it by a whisper. So, Lizzie, try the same for New Year. If you want my timetable (down to five mibutes) to prepare dinner for 1 p.m., let me know. And anyone else who might like it. Perhaps you are all better at cooking Christmas dinners than me, but this worked for me. Anyone is welcome to it. Oh, Roast potatoes etc. are all Auntie Bessies, not mine!

    Love to everyone


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