1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

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The Attack of the Killer Rellies

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Jude, Aug 3, 2004.

  1. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear All,

    Lot's of us on the web right now. Just to let you know that today has been an inspiring, if tiring time.

    Had the oldies' rellies over for coffee and lunch. All these old ladies armed with sun hats and photos from the 1900's to present day. Carole and Glyn prepared quiches, salads and sherry, fruit salad and trifles. I ran around playing waitress. It was brilliant! They were all eating like termites and squabbling over who was who in their snapshots! There were some terrific old photos.

    I've had a ball and am totally stuffed....!

    Jude
     
  2. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    513
    Shropshire
    Sounds wonderful Jude

    I too have had a "good day" today. Took your advice on forgetting the "could" and "should" words and went with the "can" and "will".

    Having survived the walk with the dog on Saturday we took her out to lunch to one of her old haunts. Eating out was one of her favourite pastimes. Its a very grand place and very popular with the "blue rinse" brigade - no offense anyone, I just think it gives you a good feel for the atmosphere.

    We struggled with the conversation as usual though she's definitely trying to tell me she could manage at home but I'm trying to step back and now say "you'll have to have a word with your Doctor when he next calls" knowing full well she either won't ask or he won't understand or if she were to get past those 2 hurdles the response from the Doc wouldn't be the one she wants.

    The staff were very kind and I managed to help her cut up her food without being very obvious, she didn't seem upset when she struggled with the procedure of eating - I think every piece of cutlery on the table got used (including the spare seting) but Hell - thats what its for isn't it!

    and the 2 martini's went down well!

    Thanks for the shove Jude

    Kriss
     
  3. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Kriss,

    I'm so pleased that you've had a great day out.

    Eating out with the oldies is always a great experience! I took my parents to visit my uncle last week and we went out to a small village pub that does wonderful food. I ordered them lasagne and salad, cos it's easy and a no hassle thing for them to eat - usually.

    The pub was packed with mid week lunchers, all of whom seem totally enthralled or appalled by mother. She dug into the cheese with her fingers and lifted it out of the dish like string, and loudly demanded to know what it was....! [Yeah Mum, just shut up and eat it will you....!] For the benefit of the other diners, she proceeded to name every substance included in her meal. [Oh, look at that tomato, what's that green thing there, this string is really nice isn't it....] I wanted to dive under the table and hide at one point, but in the end I just decided to go with the flow. What could I do?

    When the waitress came to remove the plates, my mother said 'Thank you so much dear, that was the nicest meal I've had for ages'. She even kissed the waiter on the way out and said goodbye to most of the people in the pub too...!!

    I doubt that those diners have had such an entertaining meal for ages. They were pretty calm about it really.

    So - do keep going....... it can be fun if you have a weird sense of humour..!

    Jude
     
  4. janey

    janey Registered User

    Jun 29, 2004
    86
    Kriss, when taking Mum out for a meal (sadly now a pleasure of the past), I found that the staff usually responded well when I asked them to cut up Mum's food in the kitchen before bringing it to the table. It saved Mum's dignity, and was better presented than the mess I make when I cut it up myself. Hope you enjoy many more meals out together.
     
  5. betty2

    betty2 Registered User

    Jun 14, 2004
    19
    thought i'd join. cos as embarrasing as it is at the time the're great fun to tell.

    mum and dad went on a short break to scotland to a family run hotel specially for 'twirlies' ( my dad coined this term since every time he tries to get on a bus with his pass before nine the driver says you're too early) get it?

    anyway, they had to share a table in the dining room with other guests, mother anxious for a least 2 months before holiday at this. but i said what th hell just deal with it as it comes ( easy for me to say eh!)

    all was going well, food arrived, dads starts eating, orders one glass of wine, drinks it, waiter comes to say everything alright dad says no, complains to waiter that his wine has not been brought, waiter says it has, dad says it hasnt, mum probably does a lot of talking out the side of mouth, waiter brings another glass. repeat.
    ( luckily they were small)
    in the meantime, dad has forgotten that other peoples plates are not the shared serving dishes and proceeds to help himself to bits and bobs ( probabaly the best bits)from everyone elses dinner. he also manages to collect all the spoons from the serving dishes onto his own plate ,so not only is eating everyone elses but they cant even serve themselves any more.

    luckily the other couple were a jolly pair and my dad doesnt take offence or get embarrassed.

    Mum now sees the funny side.

    Funily enough it only happened once on the holiday. he still gets mixed up with his food but seems to have stopped snitching ours!

    betty
     
  6. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    You made me laugh!

    Thanks
     
  7. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Betty,

    I'm surprised you mother didn't stab him with a fork - but then he'd probably snitched all of those as well...!

    God, it's SO embarrassing isn't it? I've often dealt with these situations by saying to other guests, 'Sorry about that, it time for her injection shortly'. That seems to silence the rude comments fairly quickly.

    Jude
     

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