The absence of time, dementia at its worst
As I sat there at my computer, mid-afternoon yesterday I thought " Who was that? Where have I just been ? and why wasn't Elaine there?? I can remember walking down the road, seeing buildings, hearing sounds, but which buildings, which road, and why wasn't Elaine there? I have not been outside on my own for years because of my spatial awareness, why now? Have I only just back? did nobody miss me ????
My head was swimming with all these questions, how could I have possibly gone out by myself and why did I? I tried to remember all I could but the memory was starting to fade, but it was real!! it was as real as the day itself, it happened and yet I have no explanation of how? I checked my watch as if to expect it to say about an hour later but was only minutes from when I thought I had just checked it,
This has happened a couple of times lately but whilst I was sat in the armchair in the front room so I put it down to dozing and dreaming, but not this time, Oh no, not this time, this time I had experienced something very real (To me anyway) and it has shocked me to the core. knowing that I have no control over this is absolutely terrifying and has really only just confirmed what I have been thinking and dreading for weeks later, that I am getting worse.
Later I had this very conversation with Elaine and asked the question I always ask " Am I getting Worse? and Elaine answered as she always does by saying
"A little but we will cope"
Needless to say, a bad night ensued with all of its horrors, but as stated earlier, today is a new day with new challenges.
Much love to all
Norrms ( trying his best to live with this awful disease)
xx
As I sat there at my computer, mid-afternoon yesterday I thought " Who was that? Where have I just been ? and why wasn't Elaine there?? I can remember walking down the road, seeing buildings, hearing sounds, but which buildings, which road, and why wasn't Elaine there? I have not been outside on my own for years because of my spatial awareness, why now? Have I only just back? did nobody miss me ????
My head was swimming with all these questions, how could I have possibly gone out by myself and why did I? I tried to remember all I could but the memory was starting to fade, but it was real!! it was as real as the day itself, it happened and yet I have no explanation of how? I checked my watch as if to expect it to say about an hour later but was only minutes from when I thought I had just checked it,
This has happened a couple of times lately but whilst I was sat in the armchair in the front room so I put it down to dozing and dreaming, but not this time, Oh no, not this time, this time I had experienced something very real (To me anyway) and it has shocked me to the core. knowing that I have no control over this is absolutely terrifying and has really only just confirmed what I have been thinking and dreading for weeks later, that I am getting worse.
Later I had this very conversation with Elaine and asked the question I always ask " Am I getting Worse? and Elaine answered as she always does by saying
"A little but we will cope"
Needless to say, a bad night ensued with all of its horrors, but as stated earlier, today is a new day with new challenges.
Much love to all
Norrms ( trying his best to live with this awful disease)
xx
