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The 5th Assessment


Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
My wife has been dignosed as having Alzheimers for only 4 years and is deteriorating quite quickly. We have attended assessment centres together whilst she was on one of the drugs but, since they were withdrawn as no longer effective, the Community Mental Health send some one out occassionally to check progress.

Jean's language and understanding has just about totally gone and she spends much of her day looking at her hands and muttering something to them or waving at her reflection in whatever shiny surface is available.

So the assessor sits down and gets out her list of 30 questions and assures Jean that it does not matter if she cannot respond.

1) Which country are you in? No response
2) Which county are you in? No response
3) Who is the Prime minister? No response

Me- Has it not got home to you yet that she is incapable of responding?

4) What town is this? No response
5) Are you left handed or right handed. No response. Is she lefthanded or right handed? Right handed.
I should give you a piece of blank A4 paper at this stage but I have only got pieces with print on so that will have to do.
6) Take the paper in your left hand, fold it and put it on the floor. Jean takes it in her right hand and tries to read the printing.

ME -Do you think that this is a waste of time yet?

7) Here are three words, apple, house and torch. Can you repeat them to me. No response.

Me -Are you fed up now Mrs. cos I am.

O says the assessor, i think we'll leave it there. At last - the penny has dropped.

During the general chat after, our dog got mentioned and I said that it is a dog which is suffering from a surfeit of age and indigetstion.

In one of those moments of pure lucidity Jean piped up "It farts a lot"

Cracking, memorable moment.


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Brilliant! Jean obviously only speaks when she has something sensible to say!

Tha mini-memory test just isn't appropriate for everyone. They stopped giving John it two years ago, (it's his speech that's mainly affected). They assess how he presents, and what I tell them about him.

Mechanical tests are OK in the hands of someone who knows what they are doing, but they're not suitable for all.

Hope you don't get that stupid woman again.


Registered User
Jul 6, 2006
My Dad is in hospital for an assessment. He is late stage AD but can walk around and has some awareness and eats well, recognises me.

The day before yesterday he had a fall (six stitches in head), concern all round. He eventually opened his eyes for one of the hourly neurological tests. To check his awareness I asked "What do I look like?" and he replied "Ugly"

We laughed for a long time.



Registered User
Nov 27, 2006
Gateshead, Newcastle
Am sorry to hear that Grommit, least you know she still loves you, my nana got diagosned about 2 months ago to its a very new experince and step of life for myself aswell as my family


Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
Thank you for your message Kay Valentine and everyone.

It was just one of those tragi-comic moments that occur from time to time and I just enjoy seeing the ones-that-know-it-all brought down from their ivory towers.


Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
Hi Grommit
Only just seen your post....
This reminds me of when I took mum to the GP in July in order to get her into the "system"
What a frustrating experience......
Mum also didn't know the Prime Minister....season....what town we were in....what country....whether she'd had children.....when asked who i was she said "my sister"...her date of birth....
We actually didn't get any further...the GP put her score down as "unrecordable"

fantastic response about your dog:D :D !!


Registered User
Mar 19, 2005
Hi Grommitt

Just to say Hi and what a lovely story; I wish I'd seen the woman's face!!!

Take care, love Kate x.


Registered User
Nov 24, 2006
I remember when my mum was first diagnosed and tests where being done she said to me if they ask something and I don't know the answer I''ll just tell them I don't know I have alzheimers. love you mum ann.


Registered User
Nov 27, 2006
Gateshead, Newcastle
Since talking about funny stories here goes.....

There was one day me and my mam went to visit my nana in the unit where she is in hospital, she has so many granchildren she never knows one from the othe, which is just normal so she mixes me and my cousin up,

We were in the smokers lounge she turned round and said Lindsey to me ( but my name is Kayleigh) she said, why wasnt I allowed at the birth of your child and i just carried on with her, I said who Timmy with the first name that popped into my head,

She said no not Timmy anways who the F**K is Timmy!!!!

Becasuse my cousins lindsey has two kids but I didnt click on she meant my cousin, so i just thought

ya not that bloody daft lol

i looked and felt like a right idot