That's not mine, bring mine back!


Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
Newport, Gwent
Hi All, Help
My mum was diagnosed with AD 2 years ago, she is now 88 and still lives in her own flat. Physically she is really very fit except for a bit of a stiff knee. A year ago we organised Carers twice a day, and meals on wheels. She told them not to come again after 2 days. My brother and his wife live 10 minutes away, I live 45 minutes away, so the main personal contact is with my brother and his wife. (I get the 20+ phone calls day and night). She was prescribed Aricept, which half the time, even with prompting she forgets take. Her short term memory is awful.

Our main problem is that she accuses my SIL of stealing from her, apparently my SIL sits outside her flat all day waiting for her to go out! The lastest theft is of her Yellow Pages, hair rollers, and the big one is her dentures. We normally track down the 'stolen' item in the flat, but it has got so bad for my SIL she cannot now visit her on her own, and we dont know how to deal with this aspect of her AD. Another problem is that she doesnt recognise things that are hers, for example her spin dryer, iron, etc. etc. she has accused my SIL of swapping these items, so they are all pilled up behind her front door. I, and my brother have tried very hard to reason with her that these items are indeed hers, and nothing has been stolen, that we all at times lose track of things, but she wont have it. Should we just take them away from behind the front door, because everytime she claps eyes on them she is off on one, and sometimes she gets really aggressive, and she is getting aggressive about the missing dentures. Any advice on the 'stealing' and 'swapping' would be gratefully received. We have just this week organised for a Carer to go in once a day just for a chat to start with, please all keep fingers crossed it works this time, it will take some of the pressure off.
Thanks for listening, it helps to get things off my chest.


Registered User
May 24, 2006
tingewick, bucks.
Oh Cate, I'm so sorry to hear you've been having these problems with your mum and your poor SIL - she must feel very hurt, exasperated and extremely frustrated with your mother's accusations.

I have read on this forum many times about AD sufferers accusing family members of stealing, so it's certainly one of the many awful changes which occur with AD.

I really don't know what to suggest. As you, your brother and SIL don't actually live with Mum, it is difficult to keep an eye on where she puts things and piling things up behind the door may also be tricky to remove though I would think it could also be a potential danger as mum could fall.

Social services may be able to give you some advice. I seem to think - again from everyone here - that it depends on where you live as to whether the health care is good or not.

I'm sorry I can't be of much help to you as my mum isn't as yet showing signs of much aggression (frustration, yes) and hasn't yet accused dad of stealing but we're preparing ourselves for this possibility. I'm sure others here will offer you some sound advice and hope you may be able to resolve the situation.

Thinking of you and sending you hugs,


Registered User
May 24, 2006
Oh yes all the claims of thats not mine and you cant have it you are stealing etc have been levelled at us.

She has tried to insist that the car keys open the front dooe that the front door keys are not hers .........the list goes on

Mind you deciphering what she is saying is the worst bit

need a carpet = need a photo
cant open the dolly = cant open washing machine door

Help I need an interpreter !!!!!!!!!!


Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
Newport, Gwent
A big thank you to all that replied, a problem shared and all that. I have read the Fact Sheet, and will have another chat with mum's consultant.

Dave W

Registered User
Jul 3, 2005
A possible ray of hope

I'd second Sandy here. My Mum had severe paranoid delusions (phoning the police to say the neighbours were breaking in and stealing her paintings - even they were all still on the walls, that kind of thing), but a low dose of anti-psychotic seems to have taken the edge of these. She still refuses to recognise most of her shoes, and is a terrible thief in her home (that's mine, that's mine - she's like the seagulls in Finding Nemo), but the aggression and paranoia are significantly better. It's worth a word with the consultant.

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