Many thanks to all who have replied to me. It really does help to know that others out there understand and care. My husband is being very well cared for and does still know me which I am very grateful for. We are able to spend time together without the awful stress there was before he entered residential care. I only wish I had known about this Forum in the earlier days when I was feeling so alone and not knowing which way to turn, so much searching on the internet convinced me that there was lots of help available but absolutely no co-ordination. It's got me thinking about some of the best advice I was given by a neighbour in fact who had lots of the same troubles with her own husband. Do make sure you get LPA, it can become so important as time goes on. Also get an assessment for personal needs for partner or even self! A financial assessment will follow, again vital, it will help with funding eventually if your partner needs residential care.It does seem very intrusive but worthwhile. I found the social worker we had was brilliant and always came up with answers. I usually e-mailed her as she was out of the office so often. My husband went into care after a stroke left him unable do do most things for himself. After three plus years coping with Alzheimers I was totally exhausted. A place was found in the nearest home to where I live and at first seemed okay. After several months the standard really dropped and I was so worried. I had meetings with the Manager and politely pointed out some of the failings with hygeine, food choice(none) and continual infections. Eventually I had a meeting with the owners who seemed to have an answer for everything! With help from our social worker my husband is in another home which is so much better, clean, bright ,carers are lovely and food excellent. And best of all he is happy. So, if you are worried about your loved one in care don't be afraid to try to change things. It is after all what is best for them and what you would want for them that is important because you love them.