1. learningcurve

    learningcurve Registered User

    Oct 9, 2015
    22
    Hampshire
    Thank you to each and every one of you who post in this forum. I have been reading this forum for a couple of years and it has given me so much information and guidance on how to cope with this very cruel disease.

    My lovely Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in July last year. I was in denial at that time hoping against hope that it was a side effect from her medication, or that it was because her B12 levels were wrong or her levothyroxine was at the wrong dose... anything but dementia. It took a long time to sink in but eventually it did. Looking back she had been showing obvious signs for many years, but that's hindsight for you!

    For the last 2 years she has been living with me and my partner, me as her full time carer and my lovely partner as my rock, who has kept me sane through it all.

    I thought that I could care for her as long as I possibly could but it became clear to me that I could no longer keep her safe. She never wandered but she became so unsteady on her feet that I was in a constant state of panic in case she fell and she did many times. Luckily she is pretty tough even though she is tiny, but I was living on my nerves in case she really hurt herself.

    She always said to me she never wanted to go into a care home, she had said that to me on occasion throughout her life, so it was a very hard decision to make. But after weighing it all up we came to the decision that she would benefit from having more stimulation and care than I could ever give her.

    She constantly said to me that she wanted to go home, and I realise that is common and I also realise that I do not really know what she means by home, but I do know that she moved from Swansea to Hampshire when she was in her 40s (she is now 85) and she still considers Swansea to be her home.

    She is constantly asking about her mother and asking to be taken back home, so I was a little worried (well a lot) that if we took her back then she would expect to see her mother.

    Anyhow, we found a lovely residential home for her in Swansea, telling her we were going on holiday. We took her down on Monday (5th Oct) and after the first unsettled night she has blossomed. I thought she would take at least a couple of weeks but she has settled in exceptionally well already.

    I have left out quite a lot of details about the two years that she was with us, suffice to say that I knew it was time for us to let her be cared for by professionals rather than us who were just muddling through making it up as we went along.

    Anyhoo sorry for my ramblings. But I really mean it when I say say thank you so much, this forum has been my lifeline at times and I hope I can help and contribute to it in the future.
     
  2. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,586
    West Midlands
    Welcome to posting on TP :)

    I'm glad you have. I'm sad that you have.

    It's so hard isn't it. Moving someone into care, but I'm pleased for you that the move seems to have gone well.

    I'm guessing there is a gap in your life now that you don't have mum with you 24/7 - not a nice feeling is it xx

    Look forward to chatting with you again.

    In the meantime, take some time for yourself and your partner that you both need. Living with dementia isn't easy xxxxxx






    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  3. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,501
    Female
    Near Southampton
    What a lovely post. I'm so glad that your mother has settled so well into her home. How thoughtful and wise of you to find a home in a place that has meaning for her from her past. I hope she continues to be content there. Best wishes.
     
  4. learningcurve

    learningcurve Registered User

    Oct 9, 2015
    22
    Hampshire
    Yes it was very hard and yes there is a massive gap in my life now.

    I had thought she would settle in the next few weeks but never in my wildest dreams did I think she would settle so quickly. It has made me realise that I made the right decision at the right time.
     
  5. starryuk

    starryuk Registered User

    Nov 8, 2012
    1,299
    Your post has given me a little thought, Learningcurve.

    Do you think it possible that your mum settled so quickly because the voices/accents around her now are familiar from a time when she was young and happy in Swansea?

    I know when I am coming home from anywhere abroad, if I get on a British plane and hear British accents from the flight crew, I instantly feel relaxed.
     
  6. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    ..... this says it all really....:D

    Now go out and find the life you lost, Mum is safe and cared for.:D x.
     
  7. underwood

    underwood Registered User

    Oct 9, 2015
    48
    Nottingham
    Starryuk
    You have put into words, what I have been wondering. My father keeps asking me and hubby to get him out of the carehome and take him to xxxxx. Every time we see him. I have been wondering if it is the dialect he hears now, as he mentioned the local voices and says he has had enough.
     
  8. learningcurve

    learningcurve Registered User

    Oct 9, 2015
    22
    Hampshire
    Yes I do believe that is mainly the reason she has settled so quickly. I thought long and hard before making the decision to move her so far away from us but I know now it was absolutely the right decision. Mum's first language was Welsh and a few of the staff in the home speak Welsh. She had lost interest in tv lately but she always seemed to perk up when someone with a Welsh accent came on
     
  9. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,501
    Female
    Near Southampton
    Coming from Wales, I can understand that perfectly.x
     

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