I haven't been on TP for a while. I'm still recovering from my op, though I'm well on the mend, and then I had the trauma of having my wedding anniversary without John beside me.
Some of you may recall, I ordered an entry for the Book of Remembrance, and 3 replica cards, one each for me and the children. That cost nearly £500. I was told I was too late for the entry in the Book this year, as the calligrapher needed more notice, but the replica cards wouldn't take too long.
They arrived last week bearing umpteen spelling and grammatical errors and .......... the wrong date! Instead of being 17th March, our anniversary, they bore the date at the top 23rd December, the date of John's death. Not only had I typed everything out, I'd also prepared it on graph paper, because you are limited to the number of characters per line.
A friend was taking me to lunch and she kindly took me to the Crematorium, where several members of staff stared at the cards, willing the date to alter. I asked why they hadn't been checked and, I'm afraid, when I was told they had been, I asked if the checker was visually impaired!
The sad thing is that if I hadn't have had replica cards, I'd have bowled along next year on my anniversary and the entry wouldn't have been there, as it would have been entered 3 months earlier. I've said I will not accept a Tippex job, and am assured they will be redone.
Everything on the day of the funeral went smoothly. The funeral directors, the flowers, the music, my Eulogy, the service and the refreshments after, but every other thing, including Death Certificates, Pensions, Policies and these cards and entry, have been wrong.
The Care Home Manager is visiting me this evening, as I have decided to donate a garden bench, or something else, in John's name, for the use and enjoyment of all the residents, and she's going to give me some ideas.
The Citizens Advice Bureau have contacted me twice "to see how you are"
and I am visiting them in 3 weeks for an interview, after which I shall be "working" for a few hours a day, twice a week and, I hope, helping others with form filling and finding their way through the labyrinth that is referred to as "help" for carers.
My daughter is coping as best she can, and they have collected me and taken me to theirs for dinner every couple of weeks. Dan and the children are visiting in late July, when we shall have the Committal, and I have arranged long weekends, visiting friends, in June and September, in Devon and Yorkshire.
I have put all the papers relative to John's Day Care and Care Home in a bulging folder, my numerous letters and responses from Social Services (I too started reading these and got mad, so I stopped) and I'll keep them for another year, in case anything is needed.
Things I'd been storing, just in case, like results of John's operations of years ago, have been incinerated, and I've even started on my 60 plus photo albums, throwing away views without someone in them, from places I've forgotten, and similar poses, and have completed 1966 to 1977.
The majority of John's clothes, books, DVDs, CDs and other things have gone to charity shops, and "John's Bedroom" has been completely redecorated, so I feel I've made good progress in the 100 days since he died.
So now seems an apt time for me to bow out, and to thank you all for the unstinting help, advice, love and support you gave me, during John's illness, and the awful dark days surrounding his death, and his funeral - along with the other January Lads. Four funerals in a fortnight.
May I wish old friends all the very best for the future, and may I assure new posters that you couldn't find a better place to get help, advice and support.
With thanks, and love
Scarlett
xxxxxxxxxx
Some of you may recall, I ordered an entry for the Book of Remembrance, and 3 replica cards, one each for me and the children. That cost nearly £500. I was told I was too late for the entry in the Book this year, as the calligrapher needed more notice, but the replica cards wouldn't take too long.
They arrived last week bearing umpteen spelling and grammatical errors and .......... the wrong date! Instead of being 17th March, our anniversary, they bore the date at the top 23rd December, the date of John's death. Not only had I typed everything out, I'd also prepared it on graph paper, because you are limited to the number of characters per line.
A friend was taking me to lunch and she kindly took me to the Crematorium, where several members of staff stared at the cards, willing the date to alter. I asked why they hadn't been checked and, I'm afraid, when I was told they had been, I asked if the checker was visually impaired!
The sad thing is that if I hadn't have had replica cards, I'd have bowled along next year on my anniversary and the entry wouldn't have been there, as it would have been entered 3 months earlier. I've said I will not accept a Tippex job, and am assured they will be redone.
Everything on the day of the funeral went smoothly. The funeral directors, the flowers, the music, my Eulogy, the service and the refreshments after, but every other thing, including Death Certificates, Pensions, Policies and these cards and entry, have been wrong.
The Care Home Manager is visiting me this evening, as I have decided to donate a garden bench, or something else, in John's name, for the use and enjoyment of all the residents, and she's going to give me some ideas.
The Citizens Advice Bureau have contacted me twice "to see how you are"
and I am visiting them in 3 weeks for an interview, after which I shall be "working" for a few hours a day, twice a week and, I hope, helping others with form filling and finding their way through the labyrinth that is referred to as "help" for carers.My daughter is coping as best she can, and they have collected me and taken me to theirs for dinner every couple of weeks. Dan and the children are visiting in late July, when we shall have the Committal, and I have arranged long weekends, visiting friends, in June and September, in Devon and Yorkshire.
I have put all the papers relative to John's Day Care and Care Home in a bulging folder, my numerous letters and responses from Social Services (I too started reading these and got mad, so I stopped) and I'll keep them for another year, in case anything is needed.
Things I'd been storing, just in case, like results of John's operations of years ago, have been incinerated, and I've even started on my 60 plus photo albums, throwing away views without someone in them, from places I've forgotten, and similar poses, and have completed 1966 to 1977.
The majority of John's clothes, books, DVDs, CDs and other things have gone to charity shops, and "John's Bedroom" has been completely redecorated, so I feel I've made good progress in the 100 days since he died.
So now seems an apt time for me to bow out, and to thank you all for the unstinting help, advice, love and support you gave me, during John's illness, and the awful dark days surrounding his death, and his funeral - along with the other January Lads. Four funerals in a fortnight.
May I wish old friends all the very best for the future, and may I assure new posters that you couldn't find a better place to get help, advice and support.
With thanks, and love
Scarlett
xxxxxxxxxx
