Terrified of being in her own home

[Gill66]

Not been on here for a while, but always know there are people out there...
Having real issues with Mum again. She sees people in her flat on a regular basis, but she is becoming more and more scared of them. She is also hearing voices talking to her now. She is convinced they are trying to break in and they are tormenting her constantly. She phoned 999 the other night. Thankfully, thanks to help from here, the police have her details and didn't send anyone out. She called at 10 0'clock tonight convinced the 'people' were pulling her light up through the ceiling. Went over there (she is about 17 miles away) and tried to settle her. She called again about half an hour ago convinced someone was trying to get in her bedroom window. I am wide awake now and waiting for the next call. It's wrong tat she should feel so scared in her own home, but I don't know what to do to help
Any suggestions?

 

[Grannie G]

It does sound as if your mother needs either medication to help with her hallucinations, or to live with others in residential accommodation so she has someone with her at all times to ease her fear.

I would consult with her doctor for advice. It`s not fair she should be so frightened.

 

[Gill66]

I am waiting for a call from the doctor at the moment. She is taking Aricept(?) prescribed by him, but I don't think that's for hallucinations. I have tried broaching the subject of residential care with Mum but she doesn't want to know - as far as she is concerned there is nothing wrong with her. She thinks it's all real and we just don't believe her. There is no logic there any more and she can't see that some of the things she is saying are completely impossible - like the people who have been planting flowers in one of her pictures and 'peering' at her while they were doing it. Needless to say the pictures have been taken down, but that just led to further issues first with the picture hooks that we left up and then with the holes that the picture hooks left - she believes people are looking at her through the holes (bearing in mind they aren't much bigger than a pin prick). Seeing her so frightened and not being able to do anything about it is just horrible.

 

[tre]

Not sure whether the hallucinations are happening all the time or just at night. When my husband first started on Aricept the nurse suggested he took the tablet at breakfast as some patients experienced bad dreams if they take in the evening.
Some people in the support group we go to do experience hallucinations but are able to deal with them without fear- however none of these live alone which must be much more difficult.
Does she only see these in her flat or if she were to stay at your house would they come with her? One of the patients I know said when he is at home there are other people sitting in chairs in his house all the time but that he had recently been on holiday and they did not come with him. They were still there when he got back home though. The clinical pschologist did not think this was unusual.
You are doing the only thing you can which is asking the doctor to help your mum.

 

[Gill66]

Kassy and Tre
Thanks for your comments.
Kassy - you said your Mum had the hallucinations for a year. Did something happen that changed that? It is very distressing - mainly for Mum, but also for us as we have no way of helping her. It sounds very similar - breaking in,stealing...last night she decided that someone was going to kill her with an axe!
Tre - yes, they happen from early evening through the night, and she takes her tablet in the evening I believe.
The doctor phoned me today and really wasn't very helpful. He finally agreed to come and see her again next week with a view to possibly changing her medication. The problem is he sees her during the day and she puts on a great show for him, even if she doesn't tell him the truth - it makes me look as if everything I have told him is a lie!
Hey ho - we'll see what tonight brings

 

[mumofthree]

Although I'm not able to offer suggestions to help, I just wanted to reply as what you describe is so familiar. My Dad has very similar hallucinations - people walking through the house or climbing over his wall, breaking in, chasing him, injecting/drugging him. He has just gone into hospital today and it will be interesting to see if they follow him or not. I also identify with the comments about performing for doctors/nurses - this is certainly our experience with Dad, we bear the brunt but when health professionals begin talking to him he can appear quite rational which is so irritating! It really helps to know others are experiencing the same things.

 

[bigmama]

My Mum has not yet been diagnosed but is due to be next Friday, 27th May. Since February this year she has had aubible hallucinations, starting with a washing machine, through stereos and now a man she believes to be her neighbour singing and talking to her constantly. I have had a conversation with her only yesterday about this and that it was very real to her but we cannot hear it. This is not the first chat. her reply was 'I know it probably is in my head but I wish he would turn the knob down and have some rest, he must not have anything better to do than sing to me!'. So the reasoning has gone.
I feel I have been very lucky, and very persistant to have got this far this quickly. By the sounds of it some of you have very unsympathetic healthcare folks to contend with.
After a change in medication, Mum is on Seroxat in the morning and Quetiapine after lunch and dinner. It has calmed her down, she is more peaceful and no longer threatens folk.
I have had to have her here as her specialist at the memory clinic wanted me to monitor her meds. She still hears the sining and now talking and she answers him, tells him off etc. When we go back to hers for post it is worse there, yet she wants to go back home when she has had the diagnosis, although I feel she shouldnt. I know she must try but I forsee her coming back within a day or 2.
Good luck and be persistant.

Jan

 

[LadyA]

I can sympathise - my husband hears things round the clock, always threatening. "The men" are in the attic, building another house on top of ours; they are bringing a truck to move all our stuff out and take over our house; they are sawing the roof off and going to push the walls in on us; have laid gunpowder along the top of the walls of the house and will blow it up with us in it; will set fire to it and burn us out; will kidnap & kill him; torture my dau; it goes on, and he talks non-stop about it. And he's on medication to tone it down! Mostly it's at home, but more and more, he's hearing it elsewhere too - particularly anywhere he's familiar with and comfortable. He's had some alarming hallucinations in his church, he's heard the voices in Tesco's car park ("they must have a radio transmitter"!), at my mother's house, my brother's house etc. I know it really is wearing - and I don't know either what can be done about it. My husband has someon with him all the time, and it doesn't make any difference. We are hoarse from explaining and reassuring. I am just hoping that at some point in his illness the hallucinations will stop - or, if I'm honest, for the sake of my sanity, I'm hoping at the very least the time will come when he will stop talking about them all the time! Sorry I can't offer any helpful suggestion - except to keep persisting with your mum's Doctors. And keep a diary of her behaviours/incidents that you can show him, if she is able to perform well for him. Even our specialist dementia psychiatrist tells me that my husband "performs well", although these days - after about 7 years of me telling people that he has dementia - he is suddenly no longer able to hide it.

 

[bigmama]

My Mums audible hallucinations are not heard by everyone else because they are on a different wavelength according to her.
I was told it was better to acknowledge the conversation, but that explaining things every time did not help as the part of the brain that puts things together logically did not work properly. They understand the noises/voices/visualisations are not real but it does not compute logically and it is very frustrating for you, but they still think their own thoughts.
When Mum told me this morning that her voice, Phillip from her next door(not mine where she is living), wanted her to come home and come to bed with him, I told her to ignore him and he had silly ideas. She thought the whole idea was funny and unbelieveable, but even so still thinks he said it.

Jan

 

[LadyA]

My Mums audible hallucinations are not heard by everyone else because they are on a different wavelength according to her.
I was told it was better to acknowledge the conversation, but that explaining things every time did not help as the part of the brain that puts things together logically did not work properly. They understand the noises/voices/visualisations are not real but it does not compute logically and it is very frustrating for you, but they still think their own thoughts.
When Mum told me this morning that her voice, Phillip from her next door(not mine where she is living), wanted her to come home and come to bed with him, I told her to ignore him and he had silly ideas. She thought the whole idea was funny and unbelieveable, but even so still thinks he said it.

Jan

I understand what you mean about explaining things every time not helping - it doesn't - but I was told that I mustn't "go along" with his hallucinations because they are so threatening and his paranoia is so bad (get this! our polytunnel has both solid plastic doors and mesh screen doors inside the plastic doors. All four doors have bolts and padlocks on! Like a padlock would keep someone out of a polytunnel!) Sigh! My husband thinks only he can hear the voices because his medication makes his hearing more acute!

 

[bigmama]

When Mum told me tonight that the Phillip could get no money from his father for the mothers funeral ( all in Mums mind) I had a chat with her trying to explain the difference between real and amagined. She asked if she didn'y answer him would that mean he wasn't there??!!
I had to tell her I would try and find out if the lady had died and if that would convince her? I did have to say that how could 'Phillip' tell her information other than the phone or coming to our house and she said 'his megaphone'. I had to say that it wouldnt travel the 10 miles between our houses, this made her more confused.

Jan

 

[Gill66]

Thank you everyone for your support and your own experiences. It's strangely comforting to know that other people are experiencing the same things, although it's so very sad how many people are affected by this.
After a long week, Mum has gone into residential care today for 'a period of time'. Nobody is committing to how long, but to be honest it's the best thing that could happen. Her GP has been brilliant today and managed to get her into somewhere local that she knows. It will be interesting to see if the 'people' that she feels are persecuting her at home appear there too. She almost ran out of the front door when I picked her up this afternoon to take her - she was a different person but still won't accept why she is there.
I am going to give her a couple of days to settle in and then go over at the weekend and see how things are.
Thank you all again.
Gill

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Gill

Sad to say, it's the best solution. I hope you sleep well tonight, knowing your mother is safe.

 

[Goingitalone]

Thinking of you, Gill.

I hope your Mum is settling well.

Maggie

 

[turbo]

Hello Gill, I hope you are ok as your mum going into a care home has happened so quickly.
It sounds as if your mum has a good GP. I hope your mum will settle into the care home. Please let us know how she is getting on. Thinking of you.


Turbo