1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Ihtl

    Ihtl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2016
    83
    Just a bit of a rant really.

    Life with my dad has been really frustrating recently. Violent incidents increasing, becoming harder to manage him going to the toilet (he swears and fights us when we try to take him, but 9/10 actually goes) and refusing personal care from both paid carers and ourselves. Diarrhoea this week has been terrible (I actually stepped away from writing this post for 30mins to deal with that)

    And as if a literally ****ty day couldn't be any worse, my grandmother passed away today after suffering from Alzheimer's for 20+ years.
     
  2. Jessbow

    Jessbow Registered User

    Bless you, so hard. Have a ((Hug)) x
     
  3. HillyBilly

    HillyBilly Registered User

    Dec 21, 2015
    1,948
    Ireland
    Oh my. I'm not surprised you felt the need for a rant.
    So sorry you've lost your grandmother.
    I hope you manage to get some help with your Dad, be that medication or maybe some respite for you?
    x
     
  4. jknight

    jknight Registered User

    Oct 23, 2015
    786
    Hampshire
    Bless you xxx
     
  5. la lucia

    la lucia Registered User

    Jul 3, 2011
    591
    Hi what an awful week for you....

    Could you ask for a referral to the Community mental health team for help with your dad's behavioural issues? They tend to understand these things better than GPs.
     
  6. Risa

    Risa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2015
    483
    Essex
    That is a horrible week {{{hugs}}} If your Dad is being more aggressive, can your GP or Memory Clinic get involved? It is hard to care for loved one at the best of times, when they become aggressive or upset, it is a nightmare :(
     
  7. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    I am so sorry that you have had such a bad week. The passing of your grandmother must have felt like the last straw :(
     
  8. Ihtl

    Ihtl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2016
    83
    Thanks all for your condolences, I've been trying to get get hold of the community mental health team. x
     
  9. Ihtl

    Ihtl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2016
    83
    A doctor from the community mental health team and a care coordinator came round to visit. Dad was prescribed another medicine which will hopefully reduce his aggression. The doctor also said he would write a letter to support our application for CHC funding which I really wasn't expecting at all.

    Although everyday is still a challenge, I must admit that I've started to feel some relief as my brothers and I have decided that regardless of the outcome of the application for funding, we will try to get dad into a care home sometime in the first couple of months of the new year. The search has been on to find what would probably have to be a specialist centre to deal with dad's aggression and violence.

    I will also have to give the CCG a kick up the **** too. I didn't realise that we're supposed to have the full assessment within 28 of the checklist assessment!

    My grandmother's funeral was beautiful. I can't quite decide if it was cruel or not that my dad cried as he left the chapel. 99% of the time he has absolutely no idea what's going on yet he was brought to tears. I'm not sure if he finally realised that his mum had passed away or if it was his sisters crying that eventually set him off.
     
  10. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    I'm glad that the funeral went well - and that you have a plan that brings hope of some relief in the future.
     
  11. Ihtl

    Ihtl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2016
    83
    Thank you, Slugsta.
     
  12. Ihtl

    Ihtl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2016
    83
    The CCG actually called me today. We now have a date for the full assessment, in a little over two weeks. It'll be the same woman who did the checklist assessment and a social worker. The assessment will be done at home, is this normal?

    I'm happy to have a date and one that's reasonably close. On the other day, I'm petrified, absolutely positively nervous.
     
  13. Ihtl

    Ihtl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2016
    83
    I came incredibly close to calling 999 this morning, ugh
     
  14. Clueless2

    Clueless2 Registered User

    May 14, 2015
    34
    Calling 999 isn't wrong or an admission of defeat. If you or your pwd are in danger it is precisely what you must do, to protect both of you from harm. It can be the catalyst for necessary additional support. Good luck.
     
  15. Meppershall

    Meppershall Registered User

    Aug 16, 2016
    180
    Bedfordshire
    I hope you are having a better day today, you sound as if you have been through the ringer lately. Take care and look after yourself xxx
     
  16. Ihtl

    Ihtl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2016
    83
    Thanks guys, we're trying to sort out a bit of respite and keeping fingers crossed for the CHC assessment.
     
  17. Ihtl

    Ihtl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2016
    83
    My dad had his assessment for CHC funding today and thankfully he was approved for funding. I'm absolutely delighted.
     
  18. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,739
    Yorkshire
    hi ihtl
    well done for all the effort you've put in - so good that approval has been granted = one important issue you don't need to worry about
    I really hope you are able to relax a little
    good luck with everything
     
  19. Ihtl

    Ihtl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2016
    83
    Thank you, it was such a relief. We can now go into the new year scouting out suitable care homes.
     

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