1. Laylabud

    Laylabud Registered User

    Sep 7, 2007
    111
    Kent
    #1 Laylabud, Apr 15, 2008
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2008
    Hi

    I have just been to visit my Mum tonight (Currently in an assessment unit and has been now since June last year) as i do every other day and i just felt the need to share with someone who would understand how i am feeling tonight. My Mum does not know my name anymore and hasn't done for sometime now and the hospital unit that she is currently in will no longer allow visitors in the lounge area, this is to protect other patients dignity so when we visit we have to take her to her room, she is very mobile still and since this ban she has become restless and all she wants to do is get back in the lounge so it makes visiting times very short. Anyway tonight she did the usual thing and wanted to get back in the loungue as soon as she came out but i managed to get her to her room and sat her down for about 5 mins, then she was up and off i told her like i do everytime i visit that i loved her very much and she stopped, turned around and told me that she loved me very much too, this meant so much to me tonight that i just started to cry in front of her and she came up to me and cupped my face in her hands and told me again that she loved me very much and told me tenderly not to cry and that she was ok just like she did when i was younger, i told her that i just wanted her to be well again and that i wanted my Mum back as she use to be and i told her i would do anything for her and she said "you have done all your life" and with that she cupped my face again in her hands and went wandering back to the lounge, i managed to catch up with her after composing myself just in time to give her a kiss goodbye and tell her that i would see her tomorrow

    I just wanted to share this with you all and to let you know that if moments like this happen to you, then make the most of these "tender moments" as they are few and far between and i shall cherish these moments for the rest of my life!

    LaylaBud
     
  2. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Dear laylabud,
    Thank you for sharing such a very special moment with your Mother.
    The visiting and going from their room back into the lounge use to be a common thing that my husband use to do.
    Do hope you have many more happy visits.
    Best wishes
    Christine
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,895
    Kent
    What a lovely and touching story.
    No-one knows what triggers these lucid moments but they are very special indeed.
    Love xx
     
  4. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    I find your post very touching. How special this is for you and quite rightly, you remind us all to treasure such times. I am so pleased your Mum was able to respond so beautifully to you.
    Thank you for sharing this with us. :)
    Love Jan
     
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi LaylaBud, what a lovely story.

    It shows that although your mum does not know your name, you are still very important in her life, and she still cares for you very much.

    Of course you will. These precious moment are stored for ever in our memories.

    Love,
     
  6. Laylabud

    Laylabud Registered User

    Sep 7, 2007
    111
    Kent
    Thanks to you all, it has really upset me tonight for good reasons which makes a change as i normally get upset over sometimes cetain things that she has said or done.
    You just never know what to expect from one day to the next with this cruel horrible disease.
    I hope you all have had these special times with your loved one's, if you haven't yet then i am sure your time will come.

    Laylabud
     
  7. SharonLyons

    SharonLyons Registered User

    Dec 10, 2006
    32
    Ilford, Essex
    Dear Laylabud,
    How beautiful and how wonderful for you. So many times we have to put up with the nastiness and viciousness that this illness brings When a moment like your's happens, as you rightly say, you must treasure it. It shows that your mum knows that you are someone truly special to her. This really brought tears to my eyes tonight. Thank you for sharing with us all.
    Sharon x
     
  8. Laylabud

    Laylabud Registered User

    Sep 7, 2007
    111
    Kent
    Mum moved into an EMI nursing home in April and has settled in fairly well and at first was smiling and chatting, the doctor took her off the Risperidone and from then on her mood changed and she became very quiet didn't speak at all then she stopped eating. The nursing staff were very worried so the dcotor was called and it seems that mum had a slight chest infection and also a urine (U.T.I) infection, it has taken her weeks to come around, she has started to eat and within the last week she has spoken a little but not much apart from the odd yes and no comments.
    When i went to see her last night she did her normal thing to start with yes & no answers.I fed her tea then we had a little walk around the garden without talking, she then went back inside and had a little sit down. I had to go up to her room to put some things away and talked her into coming with me as i want to try and keep her mobile for as long as possible. She sat on the bed watching me whilst i was busy putting stuff away, she then got off the bed and went to sit in a gold wicker chair that i took up for her a few weeks ago, this chair is special to her as it was one of the first things my Dad bought her years ago. I sat on the edge of the bed leaning over her holding her hand and trying to get her to talk to me, then she started to get a bit distressed, i said to her that it was ok and that i would never hurt her as i was her daughter and that i loved her too much to ever hurt her, she looked at me with a little smile on her face, she cupped her hands around my face and said " I love you dearly " Well that was it i just burst into tears i told her that comment meant the world to me, she started to stroke my cheek gently and after a few seconds she pushed me to one side got up from her chair and walked off. She made me cry for good reasons, yesterday was the anniversary of my dad's passing 11 years ago, i just wondered that deep down she knew what yesterday was, i guess i will never know, all i do know is that i will never forget that tender moment, yesterday i had tears of sadness because of Dad but also tears of joy because of what mum had said and done.
     
  9. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Thanks for sharing that with us Laylabud. Clearly your Mum loves you very much.

    Take care Jan
     
  10. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    Hello Laylabud,


    Such a simple gesture from your mum...

    You'll carry that in your heart forever.

    Love gigi xx
     
  11. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Laylabud

    What a lovely moment for you to treasure.:)

    These moments are so rare and brief, but without them it would all be so much harder.

    Love,
     
  12. Luca

    Luca Registered User

    Jul 9, 2008
    49
    Sutton Coldfield.
    Thank you for sharing your lovely moment - one of the days little miricles. Love. Luca
     
  13. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Dear Laylabud,

    I'm pleased for you that you have these moments to remember it's uplifting to see one's true nature shine through even if it's fleeting, somewhere there inside your mum is still there, God Bless her.

    I'm glad your mum has settled OK in the N/H and I hope she continues to improved after her infections. It's good that your mum brought you some happiness on the sad anniversary of your dad's passing. Take Care, love Taffy.
     
  14. Laylabud

    Laylabud Registered User

    Sep 7, 2007
    111
    Kent
    Thank you all for your kind comments, it was really a lovely moment, once of which i will tresure for the rest of my life.

    The nurse in charge of the home thinks that my Mum might be depressed, so last friday the GP has now put her on an antidepressant so who know i might get a few more of these prescious moments.
     

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