Sounds like something JK Rowling could've written as a title?
In the last couple of days it has been confirmed that my mother has terminal cancer ..... I have hesitated to post publicly until now, but what I have witnessed today with mum made me feel I ought to, not least to give respect to the many many members here - new and old - who have offered me so much in way of support and ideas in helping to look after mum over the last few years.
I already sensed a week or so back that TP was maybe not the appropriate place for me any longer given, not least, it was becoming evident mum's physical health concerns were overtaking her dementia issues. I've seen many threads with discussions about either/or (of each disease) ... and a few - mine included even a couple of years ago when mum was undergoing extensive tests - all clear at the time - where both cancer and dementia played a part in concerns for a loved one's health.
I know too well how wicked cancer is ... and how many people I have already lost to it or watched, or supported their fighting their valiant battles against it (hubby included) ........ but I wanted tonight to express the sense of peace that radiates from mum today.
I have been terrified that her recent increased confusion meant she had no awareness of quite how poorly we suspected she was and has now been confirmed, and how anyone might ever break the 'news' to her. Since her recent hospitalisation when she has thought she was having an operation and then going home and I haven't had the heart to tell her that might never happen (although it's still my wish to get her home, of course) ...... but since being told very clearly by the doctors of her diagnosis and the potential - to use mum's words, bless: 'But there might be b*gger all you can do about it?' I have not seen her so relaxed and content in a long time. She is being wonderfully cared for by the staff on a quite exceptional ward in what I have known sadly for many years for different reasons is a quite wonderful hospital and we await further tests for staging / prognosis and how best now to give her quality of life. (PEG feeding has already been ruled out with contra-indication of short life expectancy and ability to even get through the procedure without complications given her general health and frailty).
A dear friend used the word 'escape tunnel' about the situation a few weeks ago .. and I think mum has seen exactly that ....... for the first time in I can't remember how long she talked about my dad today and I feel she is ready to be reunited with him ....... her lucidity is quite amazing ....... (after MMSE score of just 15 this last week). I feel she has found her peace ..... and even though it's cutting me up ... I have to be grateful for that ......
If I can only aspire to ever be as strong as her ..........
Thank you all, love, Karen, x
In the last couple of days it has been confirmed that my mother has terminal cancer ..... I have hesitated to post publicly until now, but what I have witnessed today with mum made me feel I ought to, not least to give respect to the many many members here - new and old - who have offered me so much in way of support and ideas in helping to look after mum over the last few years.
I already sensed a week or so back that TP was maybe not the appropriate place for me any longer given, not least, it was becoming evident mum's physical health concerns were overtaking her dementia issues. I've seen many threads with discussions about either/or (of each disease) ... and a few - mine included even a couple of years ago when mum was undergoing extensive tests - all clear at the time - where both cancer and dementia played a part in concerns for a loved one's health.
I know too well how wicked cancer is ... and how many people I have already lost to it or watched, or supported their fighting their valiant battles against it (hubby included) ........ but I wanted tonight to express the sense of peace that radiates from mum today.
I have been terrified that her recent increased confusion meant she had no awareness of quite how poorly we suspected she was and has now been confirmed, and how anyone might ever break the 'news' to her. Since her recent hospitalisation when she has thought she was having an operation and then going home and I haven't had the heart to tell her that might never happen (although it's still my wish to get her home, of course) ...... but since being told very clearly by the doctors of her diagnosis and the potential - to use mum's words, bless: 'But there might be b*gger all you can do about it?' I have not seen her so relaxed and content in a long time. She is being wonderfully cared for by the staff on a quite exceptional ward in what I have known sadly for many years for different reasons is a quite wonderful hospital and we await further tests for staging / prognosis and how best now to give her quality of life. (PEG feeding has already been ruled out with contra-indication of short life expectancy and ability to even get through the procedure without complications given her general health and frailty).
A dear friend used the word 'escape tunnel' about the situation a few weeks ago .. and I think mum has seen exactly that ....... for the first time in I can't remember how long she talked about my dad today and I feel she is ready to be reunited with him ....... her lucidity is quite amazing ....... (after MMSE score of just 15 this last week). I feel she has found her peace ..... and even though it's cutting me up ... I have to be grateful for that ......
If I can only aspire to ever be as strong as her ..........
Thank you all, love, Karen, x