Tears and fears.....

[Bristolbelle]

Although I've known my Mum was unwell for a while and I more knew she had some memory based difficulties getting the diagnoses yesterday has left me really shattered. The consultant says she has Alzheimers, I've already got a lot of information and I know the furture looks pretty grim. I lost my Dad about 18 moths ago. He was aware Mum was developing problems but to be hnest he must have been doing a lot more than we realised to support her, because since he's gone we have realised jusr how forgetful etc she is. My dad had asbestos related lung cancer, and I am in the middle of submitting a claim for compensation in relation to that. We are also half way thorugh moving up to my Mum's, we are selling our house and buying hers as it is a council house then with the profit we are building a self contained granny annexe for her so we can look after her. We would not have been able to afford to extend our current house. I have a disabled husband and both my children are disabled too. I know I have the strength to get thorugh this, because I nursed my dad, and althoughmy children are a lot better now in years gone by we have had some terrible times with them and thier illnesses, so I have the iner strength. But I know how much I have cried in the past how much I hve hurt and I really don't want to hurt and cry that much again, yet it is heppening already all I have done today is cry.
I know it's early days and I know I can contribute to this site in a far more positive and mutually supportive way, so please bare with me as I get used to my new burden and allow me a few days of tears.... thankyou.

 

[Norman]

Hi Brisolbelle
welcome to TP.
So sorry to read your post,you are indeed having a really rough time.
Take your time ,come back to us when you are ready,we are here for you
Norman

 

[connie]

Dear Bristolbelle,

Feel free to share your tears and fears with us. So glad you have found us.
Mutual support counts for so much.

 

[kazlou]

Hi Bristolbelle,

Welcome to TP,
It's devastating to get the news that your loved one has AD or similar, but we are united here in helping each other through the good times and more often the bad times.
Kaz.

 

[mel]

Hi bristolbelle
welcome to Tp......you'll find a lot of support here. I lost my dad 18 months ago and both me and my brother didn't realise how bad things were until he died....Mum moved in with me,husband and 3 kids in April after having a room and bathroom added on to the house for her. I'm very lucky in the fact that my husband and kids can be left to their own devices.....but I'm sure the inner strength you have already found will help you through!!!
love

 

[panda]

Hi Bristobelle do not worry about crying it is something we all need to do ...it gets rid of all the tension and frustrations and enables us to carry on another day. I understand some of what you are feeling as we lost my stepfather nine months ago, also my mum has been acting odd for quite a few years now. Since he died it has become very clear that Mum has dementia but we do not have a diagnosis for her yet. I also have children one of whom is registered disabled and find myself back in the world of finding out what help is availaable,trying to fill in countless forms, while trying to cope with the day to day problems and the not knowing what will come next. ... You do sound like a very strong person and I am sure you will be OK. Keep in touch and you will get a lot of support here xx

 

[Bristolbelle]

Thanks for the welcome

Just wanted to thank you all for the warm welcome. It's been a stange couple of days laughter tears and to some degree even the beginnings of acceptance. It's also been frantic with all the activities associated with moving.
One really good thing happened today, my Mum was talking to an old friend of hers and this lady has a husband who has AD and apparently my Mum admitted to this lady she has it too. It's the first person she has metnioned it to other than me, and I felt this was a very big step in helping her to expaln to other people and to realise that they are not going to judge her, but to get understanding they have to know what is happening to . Anyway it made me feel happy that she has been able to admit it to someone else, surely this means she must be beginnning to admit it to herself too. I know there will come a time she won't be able to rationalise it all but for now I thought it was very positive.
I hope you have all had some small thing to make you feel a little more positive today too.

 

[Lynne]

Dear Bristolbelle ...

I lost my Dad about 18 months ago. He was aware Mum was developing problems but to be honest he must have been doing a lot more than we realised to support her, because since he's gone we have realised jusr how forgetful etc she is.
My dad had asbestos related lung cancer, and I am in the middle of submitting a claim for compensation in relation to that.
We are also half way through moving up to my Mum's, we are selling our house and buying hers as it is a council house then with the profit we are building a self contained granny annexe for her so we can look after her. We would not have been able to afford to extend our current house. I have a disabled husband and both my children are disabled too.

Dear God Belle, you must surely have been hideously wicked in several former lives!!

Welcome to Talking Point, and I have the feeling that you have more courage and inner strength (borne of hard experience) than several of me put together.