1. xx.lauren.xx

    xx.lauren.xx Registered User

    Sep 22, 2007
    sorry its a bit of a sad post again. since i have been back at school we have been working on a dance show in my expressive arts lesson, however the teachers never told us any dates until last friday when they said it would be on the following(this coming) thursday. we had arranged to see my uncle then and my dad is at work so i wasnt able to make it. today i went to the teachers office and explained but they jsut laughed when i asked if they could try to let me know asap when there are going to be shows so we can rearrange with my uncle. i said that he couldnt manage without help and we couldnt let him down now because we would only confuse the situation. When i left the office i could only hear them saying how ridiculous it was of a pupil to ask that and why would i do it? i just came away feeling really downhearted, i thought they would understand not laugh. my dad said he is going to phone the school tomorrow and speak to the teachers involved but im more worried they will mention it in lessons or something when they are going through peoples excuses. i think my dad will sort it out tomorrow hopefully, i just thought it was horrible that nobody seems to understand what caring is like.
    hope you are all ok
    lauren xx
  2. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Bless you Lauren for being such a lovely caring girl.

    I am sorrry that your tutors do not understand. Carry on doing what you know in your heart to be right for you and your uncle. Time will even everything else out.

    You give me great hope. When I think how Lionel's own children have abandoned him I feel despair. Then I read your post. You restore my faith.

    Take care,
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    I agree with you Lauren, I would have expected more compassion. I hope your father is able to sort it out and those teachers are put to shame.

    Love xx
  4. Tina

    Tina Registered User

    May 19, 2006

    so sorry your teachers don't seem to understand how important it is for you not to let your uncle down. Connie has said it much better than I can.

    I hope your dad will sort things out for you and you won't be made to feel awkward at school because you have a good caring heart. You will come away from this a richer person because you know you were there for your uncle when he needed you and you brightened his day.

    Keep it up, Lauren, you're doing the right thing and your uncle is blessed to have such a caring niece.

    All the best,
    Tina xx
  5. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    leigh lancashire
    Dear darling Lauren.You have every excuse for compassionate dispensation,given your circmstances.I would take this straight to the "head" and put the case efectively.You have obvious priorities that lie with your family.Make a stand and insist that your priority at the moment is with your family.You can catch up on education,but you cannot be a martyr.Say it like it is,and take care of you and mum.love elaine
  6. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    Newport, Gwent
    Hi Lauren

    Sadly honey there are some ignorant people in this world and it seems that some of these are amongst your teachers.

    I hope that your dad is able to sort it out for you, maybe your dad would also like to give these heartless people some leaflets on the devastating effects of Alzheimer’s on the sufferers, and their families.

    You are a lovely caring young lady, and all credit to you for caring so much for your family. Keep strong.


    Cate xx
  7. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    Birmingham Hades
    Hi Lauren
    just another example of professional people showing their ignorance.
    People who you would think would have some understanding and compassion.

  8. sammyb

    sammyb Registered User

    Sep 19, 2007
    Hi Lauren. As a member of the teaching profession and, dare I say a headteacher, I think your experience with your tutors is absolutely appalling. I am hugely embarrassed for my profession that your tutors could have been so insensitive. I think my best advice would be for your dad to make an appointment to see the head and tutors jointly to explain the situation - and request of the head that the meeting is urgent. Perhaps, if you feel OK about it, you could be at the meeting too. They may know nothing about dementia so if your dad can take some explanatory leaflets that would be good too. The tutors need to get their act together in terms of getting the dates of performances listed so that everybody who is performing can make the necessary arrangements - from you with your uncle to very basic things like students arranging 'taxis' to and from the performances now the nights are drawing in. If the tutors do bring your particular difficulties up as an excuse for your not being at a performance, note their comments down and pass them to your dad so that he can get back to the head with the insensitive remarks.

    I am so sorry you have had this dreadful experience

    love from sammyb
  9. Devonmaid

    Devonmaid Registered User

    Sep 23, 2007
    Dartmoor Devon
    Hello Lauren, I cant add anything to what has already been said except to say bless you for being so caring and I am so sorry that you are suffering from the ignorance of others .
    love Kate x
  10. janetruth

    janetruth Registered User

    Mar 20, 2007
    Hi Lauren

    Teachers are the people we spend most of the day with, from an early age. We are taught to respect and trust them. When you went to them, to explain your situation, the least you expected was some understanding, they acted very immaturely and could do with a few lessons in communication.
    There are probably quite a few 'young carers' in your school, it sounds like you could do with someone who you could share your experiences with.
    Why not try to find out, ask your teacher ( one you can trust to take it seriously) to help you find out.
    I hope you and your family have got the right support needed for your Uncle.
    It's not a crime to be so caring, I hope your school work isn't suffering too much, it's hard to concentrate when you have other things on your mind.
    Hope things get sorted soon and I hope your Uncle is ok.
    Take Care
    Janetruth x
  11. Lizzie K

    Lizzie K Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    East Midlands
    Hi Lauren, as a member of the teaching profession I feel that you have been treated very badly and you have been let down by people who should be there to support you.

    Do you have a personal tutor who looks after your pastoral care? If so please speak to them and explain your situation. They can then speak to the relevant teachers and ask them to treat you with the respect you deserve.

    It is very wrong that they have undermined you and I hope your father speaking to the school has a positive affect.

    Remember, you are the one who can hold your head high here - they should be ashamed of themselves. Take care. Lizzie K
  12. xx.lauren.xx

    xx.lauren.xx Registered User

    Sep 22, 2007

    thank you for all your lovely advice and support. My dad has phoned the school and the teachers involved were also quite rude to him- he is going to phone back tomorrow now he has checked a few thigns with me. they have agreed to give me a timetable of the shows coming up so me and my mum can arrange around them, which i am glad about, now i can take part in the shows without my mum having to rearrange my uncle and it will be I am also going to speak to my form tutor i think because i think it might jsut be worth explaining the situation to her if this happens again she already understands what is happening.

    i hope these teachers never have to experience the horrible effects of dementia but im hoping that all this has come to an end and they are a little more understanding in future. i would never use my uncle as an excuse and i think they understand now, but my dad is on the case and will keep an eye on the situation! Its hard to stand up to them as its disheartening to be laughed at how they did but i do know that three more people are now aware of dementia and maybe if this situation happens to someone else, they will be more undertsnading.

    hope you are all well, thank you again for such lovely support
    lauren x
  13. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi Lauren, congratulations on getting things sorted out, and getting a timetable of the shows, and well done dad!

    I do hope those teachers have learned something from the experience. I think you're right to have a word with your form tutor, just to reinforce the point.

  14. Bristolbelle

    Bristolbelle Registered User

    Aug 18, 2006

    I'm not sure form your posts just how old you re, but I wondered if there is a "Young carer's group" in your area. My lad benefitted from this hugely when he was at school. They even used to send workers to schools to discuss issues and show teachers etc how hard it is for some youngsters to cope etc.
    This is the link to the Bristol Young Carers :- http://www.bristolcarerscentre.co.uk/
    if you don;t know where to find out about local support they might be able to help. They also arrange things like pamper evening, and outings so young carers can get together and share their expereinces.

    Hope this helps
  15. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Our local branch of Princess Royal Trust also run young carers groups. It might be worth contacting them too. I know they do a lot of good work in our area. You can find the local number in the phone book.

  16. xx.lauren.xx

    xx.lauren.xx Registered User

    Sep 22, 2007

    thank you for the information! I will definatly look into it!
    Lots of love
    lauren xxxxx
  17. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    leigh lancashire
    Well done Lauren and dad.It sometimes takes the courage of your convictions to make a stand.Your dad has done you proud.As you grow you will learn that to stand up for your beliefs is what makes you what you are.Teachers should have a compassionate side and i am sure most do.unfortunate that your problem was not met with compassion.Hey ho.it's sorted now and i hope you can be of help to others,you are amazing given that you are a child.love elainex
  18. Ksmith

    Ksmith Registered User

    Sep 24, 2007

    Hi Lauren

    Can I just say that your teachers should be proud of you and you should be the one laughing at their ignorance the mere fact you are even concerned enough and committed enough about not letting people down for school events by asking them to notify you when they are is admirable to say the least!
    The irony is you dealt with things in a very adult and factual manner and had you been one of the more 'dramatic' students who just did not show up offered no explanation and when quizzed about it collapsed in an emotional heap on the floor about how sad you are about family issues, you can imagine their reaction would probably have been more sympathetic and compassionate! Ironic isn't it!
    As trained staff they should have fully appreciated your efforts in explaining your situation especially as YOU initially offered the explaination directly rather than getting a parent's letter or something but sadly as is often the way they obviously wrongly assume it to be a trivial excuse.
    Let's just hope none of them ever have to go through what you are going through with your Uncle. Do not allow this problem to rest on your shoulders - the problem is theirs and hopefully once explained further they will be the ones carrying the burden of guilt and it will teach them something for the future. Can I just say I bet your uncle would be very proud of you if he knew and stay strong and do not let their ignorance change your manner of dealing with things sadly I know from experience teachers can be a little judgemental (often to the wrong people) but perhaps once they realise the facts they will become better able for the future so think positive; rather than them teaching you on this occassion you may have taught them something! Stay the way you are. From Karen x
  19. xx.lauren.xx

    xx.lauren.xx Registered User

    Sep 22, 2007
    thank you

    thank you again for your support! its great to hear from you all. Unfoutunatley today things started to go wrong again when we had our drama lesson. The teacher started to shout at the whole class but qoting the words my dad had said on the phone. She said that she did not apprechiate people telling her how to do her jobs and that everyone who complained could have rearranged their plans to make sure they could fit into the show if they could be bothered and that is was unaccpetable. This was what i was worried would happen , people who didnt even know my dad had complained we coming up and asking if i had said anything because they thought she was particulaly angry with me. Sadly, i think she just doesnt apprechiate what dementia is like and that its not as easy as she makes out to rearrange plans with someone who cant manage on their own and is relying on you. However, reading through all the lovely comments you have left my dad is going to phone the school again on monday and hopefully put an end to it all, but if not he plans to report it to the head. I know i am not the only person in this situation and so im going to keep going- there are lots of other people in my school in similar situations and i know that if the teacher understood the situation she wont be so judgemental towards them in the furture. Im feeling much more positive about it now ,my dad is still on the case and im sure it will be sorted out soon.
    Thank you for all your lovely advice
    lots of love will keep u updated
    lauren xxxxxx
  20. Tina

    Tina Registered User

    May 19, 2006
    Blimey, Lauren, what an unsupportive specimen of a teacher you have there. I'm glad you're not letting it get you down and your dad is on the case. Don't give in here, that sort of behaviour from a teacher is really not acceptable. I understand that schedules must be kept and all that, but surely in this case there should be additional support for you from the teachers. It's not as though you're asking for time off to go on holiday or because you can't be bothered.

    It's because you are kind and caring and want to make sure your uncle is felt loved and looked after. And bless you for being that way! Keep up the good work and just stay exactly the way you are!

    Maybe these people do need a serious talking to and a lot more information on dementia and AD in order to understand why you want to be with your uncle at this time.

    Take care and good luck for Monday.

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