1. keegan2

    keegan2 Registered User

    Jan 11, 2015
    190
    I work part time 10 til 2 5 days a week. Little boy goes to school 7 years old. Hubby has alzheimers been diagnosed 4 years now. My problem is everyday for the past week he gets upset when I am going to work, he doesn't want to stay at home by himself. From crying to refusing to eat breakfast, it driving me crazy. I explain to him I have to work, we cannot live on benefits we wouldn't be able to pay the mortgage. I tell him all the hard work he did to give us a good life would go down the drain. Anything that makes him calm down. He used to go to the charity shop three afternoons a week but they let him go. He eventually excepted that as I told him the shop was closing down and made him redundant. After that he started to going to local temple, which has been fine ( have to drop him there before I go to work as he now gets lost going there however so far is still able to come home alright). Don't know what to do, its upsetting me and him everyday. The worse part is he is getting all worked up in front of our little boy. I try to keep things calm but as soon as he knows I am going to work he becomes anxious and keeps asking what he will do. Any ideas went to doctors again to ask about day care they have been looking into it since April but no reply from centre, doctor said he would send another request urgent, but who knows how long this will day. Not that hubby wants to go there he thinks I am trying to put him in a care home, told he would be a helper there, don't know how many lies I tell just to have a quiet calm life. Hubby only 62 I am 51 my life is passing me by at the moment, if it wasn't for our little boy keeping us busy don't know what I would do. However its not fair on him to have a father whose not well and a mother stressed out with the situation. I know I am carrying on and probably not making any sense but I don't care I have 10 minutes to myself whilst hubby is soaking his feet in warm water and not following me around or hovering over my shoulder whilst I type.............I cannot remember what it was like to have the house to myself and just sit down without someone staring at me.
     
  2. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,302
    Cotswolds
    Oh keegan, you are making perfect sense! I'm so sorry you are in such a difficult situation. It seems to me that you need a lot more help. Has your husband had a care needs assessment? Have you had a carers assessment? If not, contact your council's adult social care department and ask for one......even if your husband won't take part in his own assessment, you can still do one as a carer.

    Also, do you have a branch of the Alzheimer's Society near you? Have you contacted Admiral Nurses for advice? They don't work in every area, but they do have a helpline.

    Truly you and your little boy can't go on like this. I hope someone else comes along with better ideas, but I really couldn't 'read and run' when I saw your post.

    Please keegan, seek more help. You need and deserve it.

    Meanwhile, sending you (((hugs)))

    Lindy xx
     
  3. keegan2

    keegan2 Registered User

    Jan 11, 2015
    190
    Thanks Lindy appreciate the advise. I think it may be time to try and get some help. Apart from my sister any other help is non existent. I just wish things could go back to how they were. Not just for me but for my little boys sake he loves his dad and helps me alot with him however he also takes advantage of the situation sometimes which is not good. The confusion and feeling of being alone must be awful for my hubby the options to resolve this problem are not available. At least the evenings are calm when we are all home together one would not even no know there was a problem........
     
  4. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,531
    Female
    South coast
    It does sound as though he needs company all the time now. I do hope that you can find day care for him soon as I think this will help a lot
    I like your idea of telling him that he has a job there as a helper :D
     
  5. susy

    susy Registered User

    Jul 29, 2013
    806
    North East
    The day care that my dad goes to has people of all ages go. Please do have a google search of your local area. Get your GP to refer you to social services and see what help (including day care setting up) they can give you.
    Our social worker is a rare gem. She has been brilliant. Came out initially to see us within 2 weeks of being asked and has set everything up that we have needed. She has also phoned to ensure what she had set up was happening and when one part hadn't happened she was on to it fast. I read on here that this is a rarity so we are very grateful, but saying that, it shows it can happen.
    Seek help, it is there.
     

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